Faith v/s Knowledge

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mkw

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I believe ALL that the Catholic Church teaches as revealed by the Holy Spirit. I believe that God created ALL.

Here is my problem. I spent the first 40 years of my life NOT believing in God or Church. I fear that my faith is ONLY of intelectual knowledge, and not true faith belief. After all, even Satan believed in God, but we all know that does not make him right.

I’ve only been a Catholic/Christian for a year now, having been received just this past Easter. I fear just KNOWING the truth is not enough and I’m starting to be overcome by a bit of depression and a feeling of loss and aloneness.

I pray the Rosary daily, as I love this devotion greatly, it calms me, but nothing more than that.

What am I doing wrong, or what can I do. I attend Holy Mass 6 days a week, go to confession every other week (I feel so WONDERFUL after a good confession). But still something is lacking.

I sure could use some good, sound advice to my problem.

It’s kinda like believing in “name” only. This is NOT how I want to practice my faith.
 
mkw:

Do not despair. There is no conflict between faith and knowledge. The technical defintion of knowledge is justified true belief.

Satan does indeed know that God exists, but that knowledge comes from direct observation (to say the least!). Your knowledge of God comes from faith.

Also do not think that doubt and faith are incompatable. It is not a sin to admit that you have doubts. Courage comes from working through your faith while you have doubts.

I would suggest that you talk to someone in your parish—maybe your sponsor. What you are going through is not unique, but that does not make it any less real or difficult.

You were in the habit of disbelief for forty years. That cannot be turned around in just one year. You are trying to develop a new habit–the habit of faith and it sounds like you doing very well.
One more point. You spent the first forty years of your life denying the existence of God. You have always known that God exists, you just finally listened.

I hope this helps.
georgeaquinas
 
Howdy mkw, just a couple of thoughts here, by no means a total answer. 🙂 There is such a thing as a dark night of the soul. I don’t propose that you are having one; it usually happens, from what I understand, a little later on, and I certainly wouldn’t know in your case anyway–it could be one. But the essence of it includes the fact that God withholds the warm sensations and confirmations, to give the person a chance to be faithful without those exterior confirmations. Consolations are often felt by beginners and are given by God to help affirm the person in his trajectory. But God doesn’t want to do all the work, preferring his creatures to have a chance to show what they really believe. When consolations are withheld, it is a chance to have faith simply on the basis of faith and understanding. If you can make it through such a period, you have very good faith. If you are not getting consolations, you may even consider yourself to be somewhat more advanced, in that God is expecting more from you, and doesn’t consider that you need so much support to be faithful. I think God tests us, as we pray more and do more in the faith (daily Rosary, daily Mass, daily hours such as in the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary or the Divine Office); He withholds some of his confirming sensations, so that we can show that our love really proceeds from our faith, and is really how we want to be toward God.
 
George and csr…

Thanks both of you for your help and insight. I have the book, Dark Night of the Soul, but was advised not to read it, I was still in RCIA at the time. Maybe now is a good time to read it.

This is a whole new world for me, I have never regretted coming home to Holy Mother Church, I guess its ME i doubt.

I sometimes wonder if this may be God’s way of slowing me down a bit? Believe it or not, it took about one week to go from NON believer to believer. In retrospect, I now know the Holy Spirit has been kinda nudging me along for quite some time.

Strange thing though,my once non-religious, anti-Catholic son is starting to enjoy going to Holy Mass with me and now its ME who is struggling… God, no doubt has more faith in me then i do…BUT I will not give up on Him or me. I finally found Him, not about to let Him go. 👍

Again thank you both and God’s blessings to you
 
You used reason to intellectually bring yourself to believe in the existence of God and how He revealed Himself through Christ and His Church. But make no mistake about it, it was God’s grace that gave you the impetus to pursue your intellectual journey of faith. I’m a revert to the Christian faith and I initially had that “warm and fuzzy” feeling but I, too, came back to the church through what I believed was reasoned arguments. Prior to your conversion, you had the same intellectual capacity but it was God’s grace and yes, your faith, that brought you to your present understanding. You’re starting to discover that being a faithful christian in this secularized world is hard and at times an immense struggle - this can sometimes make you feel a little depressed because it’s easier on the surface to be a nonbeliever (you’re under the illusion that you’re not accountable to anyone but yourself). Take heart, however, because being a good christian does sometimes involve struggles and sufferings. Continue to strive for holiness and you will find that over time the indwelling of the Holy Spirit will begin to emerge and your faith will grow and mature. It’s great that you are participating in the sacraments on a regular basis because these are the tools to increased holiness. I would recommend reading Pope John Paul II’s encyclical on Faith and Reason - it’s a very insightful discourse on this very issue. My prayers are with you.
 
MKW

I had the same problem for many years. I, too, am a convert. But it seemed like none of it touched my heart. A little over three years ago, I took my first retreat. It was for a week, and was a major help for me.

I had a lot of solitude there. It was a directed retreat, but I only saw the nun in charge of that for about an hour a day. Of course, I was encourage to pray with them and go to mass with them. Other than that, it was just God and me. I even ate alone.

At one point during that week, I got to thinking and examining my heart and soul. I realized that I had a stone like barrier around both. Put there out of fear of being hurt. So, I prayed that God would slip through the cracks and break it apart from the inside. For that was the only way it was going to be removed. God was faithful. And he heard and answered that prayer.

I’ve still got a long way to go. But God has shed light on my path many times since then. Many times I still feel alone and all. But I know that, however hidden, God is still with me and leading me. 😉
 
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mkw:
I have the book, Dark Night of the Soul, but was advised not to read it, I was still in RCIA at the time. Maybe now is a good time to read it.
Click to expand...
It might still be too early to read St. John of the Cross. His intended audience was people who were professed religious and very advanced along the spiritual path.

You said you go to Confession every two weeks. That is just wonderful. Do you go to the same priest every time? If so, by now he will be quite familiar with you and your spiritual life, and would be in an excellent position to recommend some good spiritual reading for you. You could also bring up this faith question in confession. You are not limited to discussing your sins - you may use your confession to seek spiritual advice as well.

Betsy
 
Just to add to the great responses you’ve already received, you might take a look at the Catechism on the characteristics of faith:

Faith is a grace

[153](javascript:openWindow(‘cr/153.htm’)😉 When St. Peter confessed that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God, Jesus declared to him that this revelation did not come “from flesh and blood”, but from “my Father who is in heaven”.24 Faith is a gift of God, a supernatural virtue infused by him. "Before this faith can be exercised, man must have the grace of God to move and assist him; he must have the interior helps of the Holy Spirit, who moves the heart and converts it to God, who opens the eyes of the mind and ‘makes it easy for all to accept and believe the truth.’"25

Faith is a human act

[154](javascript:openWindow(‘cr/154.htm’)😉 Believing is possible only by grace and the interior helps of the Holy Spirit. But it is no less true that believing is an authentically human act. Trusting in God and cleaving to the truths he has revealed is contrary neither to human freedom nor to human reason. Even in human relations it is not contrary to our dignity to believe what other persons tell us about themselves and their intentions, or to trust their promises (for example, when a man and a woman marry) to share a communion of life with one another. If this is so, still less is it contrary to our dignity to “yield by faith the full submission of. . . intellect and will to God who reveals”,26 and to share in an interior communion with him.

You obviously make acts of faith often–by going to Confession, attending Mass, loving others, assenting to Church teaching, desiring to please God. As others have said, all these require your faith, not just knowledge. But to begin to feel as though you are doing more than just believing, ask God to increase in you the gift of faith.

This is something I too experienced when I was going through my conversion process–I intellectually believed in the Eucharist, but I feared I would never truly believe that Christ was physically present. I prayed long and hard for the gift of “faith” in the Real Presence, and God granted it to me. These are the kind of prayers God loves to hear, I am sure! So take your suffering in this area to God, and ask for an increase in faith.
 
Hi MKW -

Please don’t despair . . . you certainly aren’t alone!

I’m also a convert (10 years this Easter) and for many years my approach to faith was what you seem to be calling “intellectual.” To me it was like reading a textbook, taking the test and moving on to the next class. My faith (such as it was) was very dry, sterile, distant and remote. It was something to be read from books but not actually lived. Perhaps these years were my “Dark Night”

Then one day I went to Eucharistic Adoration and I was immeadiately hooked. My life and faith began to change . . . radically for the better! The thing that never ceases to amaze me is how the “knowledge” I read about in books began to be impressed into my heart. After a few years, it has gotten to the point where I long for Adoration greatly. Fortunately, there is a church with Perpetual Adoration very close to my office . . . so I go as often as I can on my lunch hour.

You seem like a very devout person . . . I’d highly recommend Adoration along with your other devotions!
 
Faith and knowledge are inseparable, it’s a complimentary relationship. Knowledge reinforces faith. The more faith you have, the more you want to know; the more you know, the stronger your faith. Just like with the love and knowledge of Christ. The more you know Him, the more you love Him; and the more you love Him the more you desire to know Him.

Peace be with you.
 
Pray to God with an open heart as He is truly your Father.
 
Who gave you your knowledge of the Father? The answer is the Father Himself, by the mouth or written words of others, ultimately in His Human Self, Christ Jesus and by drawing your own spirit to His. Love your Heavenly and Most Merciful Father. God Bless you and much love and peace to you xxx
 
RCIA and the sacrament were the beginning of your journey, not the end. You are in the period call “mystagogy” which means study of the mysteries, answering the question “what just happened to me?”

Altho many adult Catholics don’t know it, we are supposed to go on learning about our faith all our life long. Pick up the bible or a daily missal, read the daily Mass readings, meditate and pray with them. Look for authentic Catholic bible studies, faith sharing groups, adult education at your parish or neighboring parishes.

There are highs, and there are lows, but most of the time is trudging along the straightaways, dragging our crosses behind us. Your sense of something lacking is relationship-with other Catholics, especially in your parish, with God’s poor, and with Jesus.
Find some way to serve others, it is the best way to see the face of Jesus.
 
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