False positive sorry

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Chicken_Pigeon

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Deleted false positive sorry

Bokbok
 
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It is estimated that between 50 and 80% of adults in the US have herpes. Your chances are greater of dating someone with herpes than of meeting someone who does not carry the virus.

Herpes is dangerous only if you are a woman with a genital outbreak during vaginal childbirth. This is simply avoided through medical means.

Aside from that, it is simply annoying.
 
An incurable STD would be a deal breaker for me. Dealbreakers are very personal and should not be taken as a generalization about how any specific Catholic (or non-Catholic) would feel.

I know someone who had an incurable STD from their past and their spouse-to-be was OK with it. They had to manage around it as far as intimacy went.
 
Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Removed
 
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It would certainly give me a moment’s pause, but not necessarily be a dealbreaker.
 
TheLittleLady said:
It is estimated that between 50 and 80% of adults in the US have herpes.
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Herpes simplex 1, yes. Oral herpes, also called fever blisters or cold sores. Yes it’s common. The herpes virus family also causes mono and chicken pox or shingles. But that is not what the OP is taking about I would guess. And those aren’t sexually transmitted diseases.

Herpes simplex 2, no, not 50-80% of the population. Genital herpes infects about 12% of the population.
 
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Talk to your doctor, do not ask about illnesses here.
 
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Chicken_Pigeon said:
But they’ll just leave. It’s hard enough just to find someone who will agree to go out. Now why bother

I read online that it’s a dealbreaker to many. That’s why I made this post
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You don’t know that. That is why I specifically said you cannot generalize an answer here to mean that everyone feels that way. You might meet someone who also has it. You might meet someone who doesn’t care. You might meet someone for whom it’s not a dealbreaker, or who might change their mind after speaking with your doctor.
 
Get help for your despair, because the world is full of people and you cannot extrapolate one person’s dealbreaker to the entire population.

Smoking is also a dealbreaker for me, but it’s not for other people. I was rejected by someone because I’m not a cradle Catholic— that was their dealbreaker.

As I said, I know a woman who got herpes from her one and only sexual partner prior to meeting her husband and her husband didn’t think it was a dealbreaker for him. They managed around her outbreaks.

So, this is not something to poll on the internet, it’s something to talk to a real person about in a real relationship situation.
 
Chicken_Pigeon said:
But a person can quit smoking. I can’t cure this
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Most don’t ever quit. And I sure couldnt change the fact I wasn’t a cradle Catholic.

The point is, everyone has dealbreakers and this may or may not be one.

Also, people may have things they think are dealbreakers that they are willing to reconsider because their love for the other person overrides their initial idea of what their dealbreakers are. Sometimes not.

It’s not the end of the world, it is something serious and something that may be a dealbreaker for some people and not for others.
 
It’s contagious when there is an outbreak. And that’s the risk factor. I would be speaking to a good Priest about the whole marital duty and protection and incurable disease issue.

Arm yourself with knowledge before you start dating and seeking a partner.

Let’s not conflate oral and genital herpes and confuse readers.
 
If it makes you feel any better, I once talked to a priest Who told me a story about a couple that were getting married. The woman hid the fact she had herpes until the wedding day. She then fessed up. The guy decided he loved her too much and decided to marry her anyways. So it is not necessarily a deal breaker for everyone.
 
Chicken_Pigeon said:
Let’s say you meet someone and they’re your ideal mate. You hit it off, there’s chemistry, and they’re very devout. But soon you find out that in the past the person made a few mistakes 10 years ago before they were catholic and they contracted genital herpes. However, they’ve been abstinent and chaste since then. Would that be a deal breaker for you guys?
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As others have said, for some it would be a dealbreaker, and for others it would not be. So definitely don’t despair. She should have all the information possible on the STI so that she can make an informed decision.

Someone close to me was once in this situation. While she was engaged, her fiancé found out that he had an STI from a long-ago sexual encounter. He was very distraught and feeling unworthy and guilty and was going to end the engagement because he didn’t want to put that burden on her, but she researched and found out ways to treat and protect. Long story short, they have now been happily married for several years and have children. So again, do not despair.
 
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Well you wouldn’t bring it up on a first date, for sure. I don’t know if this would be a dealbreaker for me. I’m already married but if my wife had told me before our wedding that she had herpes I think I can safely say that I’d still have married her. Maybe if she’d told me very early on I’d have thought “eww…well I don’t want that” and simply moved on. But when you get to know and love a person I think this sort of thing matters less.

I wouldn’t give up dating because of this. Someone who loves you for who you are would be able to get over it.
 
I see you have deleted several posts and the title of the thread has changed to indicate it was a false positive.

Congratulations! What a relief that must be.
 
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