Families in California...how do you do it? :)

[anamchara]

I live in northern California but I suppose this could apply to the entire State.

As you may well know, the cost of living here is quite prohibitive to large Catholic families. I realize this is an incredibly broad question but…how do you do it? Nothing specific that I’m attempting to glean from all of you, but this is merely a post to share some stories and tips as to how you make things work FINANCIALLY.

This isn’t restricted to CA…any place where the cost of living isn’t conducive to large families is fine

Hey neighbor, I’m in Cali as well. It really depends on where your at, out here. Some areas are more costly then others. It’s a huge state. I am in the Sacramento area and compared to the bay area, we are much more reasonable. It is insane how expensive it is there.

As far as tips, I’d say don’t buy a house unless you are absolutely sure you can carry the mortgage. We have many large families all over but they probably bought their home when it wasn’t so ridiculous. Of course, it’s a good time to buy right now due to all the foreclosures and the housing market issues.

 

[Kanda]

Ya know… I watch all those home improvement and flip that house shows and it always amazes me that folks would pay upwards of 3-400,000 for a trashed house smaller than my house. I think if you wanted to make it in CA you would have to live with mom and dad, work your tush off and save every penny… then move to the midwest with your nest egg!

I know you want to stay in the same area you grew up in… and I certainly don’t know how it is in CA neighborhoods… but can’t you move a little further out and still be close to family?

Maybe it’s just me, but I always considered 2-4 hours away from mom and dad the ideal because they can’t just “drop” in. I live 15 hours from family and it is a drawback, but I did what was best for the kids (If you knew my mom you would understand). Anyway, how does anyone live in your area? Do you like make $50,000 working at McDonalds? not trying to be rude but it seems like it is a self fulfilling cycle… high prices, high wages, high taxes… it seems nuts to me!

My parents moved 4 hours away and it is horrible! I miss them so much and it is so difficult to go and visit them with all of the kids. My MIL lives nearby and she comes by about 3 times a week. My MIL and I are very close (she is my godmother) and I love having her nearby.

Personally, you couldn’t pay me enough money to move to a small town. And to get cheaper in CA, you have to move out to the boonies. It has been my personal experience with small towns that parents tend to get more relaxed in their parenting. They think “Oh, such a nice safe, small town. Every body knows everybody. Such a great place to raise my kids.” They lose track or turn a blind eye to what the kids are really up to - drugs, sex, etc. I have witnessed this type of thing first hand on 3 separate occasions. Please, I don’t think that all kids that grow up in small towns are bad - I’ve just personally had some bad enough experiences to not want to do it.

 

[Bobby_Jim]

Personally, you couldn’t pay me enough money to move to a small town. And to get cheaper in CA, you have to move out to the boonies. It has been my personal experience with small towns that parents tend to get more relaxed in their parenting. They think “Oh, such a nice safe, small town. Every body knows everybody. Such a great place to raise my kids.” They lose track or turn a blind eye to what the kids are really up to - drugs, sex, etc. I have witnessed this type of thing first hand on 3 separate occasions. Please, I don’t think that all kids that grow up in small towns are bad - I’ve just personally had some bad enough experiences to not want to do it.

One of the things that happens in California (maybe elsehwere too, I don’t know), is that the smaller towns end up becoming dumping grounds for registered sex offenders, who are restricted in where they can live (e.g. not within xx miles of a school, etc). So in Stockton (nearest medium-sized city to me), 1 in every 300 or so people you meet is a registered sex offender, as compared to ~1 in 1000 in Oakland, or 1 in 1600 for San Francisco. I haven’t done an exhaustive study. But the proportion does seem to be higher in the Central Valley compared to the Bay Area.

 

[Lexee15]

One of the things that happens in California (maybe elsehwere too, I don’t know), is that the smaller towns end up becoming dumping grounds for registered sex offenders, who are restricted in where they can live (e.g. not within xx miles of a school, etc). So in Stockton (nearest medium-sized city to me), 1 in every 300 or so people you meet is a registered sex offender, as compared to ~1 in 1000 in Oakland, or 1 in 1600 for San Francisco. I haven’t done an exhaustive study. But the proportion does seem to be higher in the Central Valley compared to the Bay Area.

:crying: :crying: :crying: :bigyikes: OH GREAT!!!:crying: :crying: :banghead:

 

[Carthusianish]

It has been my personal experience with small towns that parents tend to get more relaxed in their parenting. They think “Oh, such a nice safe, small town. Every body knows everybody. Such a great place to raise my kids.” They lose track or turn a blind eye to what the kids are really up to - drugs, sex, etc. I have witnessed this type of thing first hand on 3 separate occasions. Please, I don’t think that all kids that grow up in small towns are bad - I’ve just personally had some bad enough experiences to not want to do it.

Yes, you definitely can never take anything for granted and always need to be on guard – even in a small town. But I think the odds are more in your favor in small towns, just not reduced to “zero” chance for something bad to happen.

 

[gmarie21]

Anybody in the Midwest wanna switch!?

I know that my brother would LOVE! LOVE! LOVE to switch homes with you! He’s so in love with San Diego that he got married there. He travels there a few times per year and always looks for a job out there.

Out here in the Chicagoland area (a few hours from Blest One’s hometown area of Peoria) cost of living isn’t as bad as on the coasts, but I know that Catholic teachers can’t afford homes anywhere near Chicago or its suburbs without having summer jobs and night and weekend part time jobs. There are teachers who have to commute 1 1/2 - 2 hours each way to their schools in the Archdiocese because they can’t afford a home closer, and forget about a condo (those run, just in my area, in the $200000 range and that’s just for a two bedroom, not enough room for someone with a family).

 

[BlestOne]

Wow… I love small towns… and yes they really are safer than cities. How can you even think that sex offenders like small towns better? More kids in big cities…I looked up my town and a nearby city … we have 13,000 people and 25 sex offenders. The next city south has 67,500 and 151 offenders… that is .0019 % for my small town and .0022 % for the city.

It isn’t even just small towns… it’s the midwest. I love the people here. People are alot friendlier and nicer here. But yes, in the small towns we all know each other and what is going on in our communities.

 

[samizdat]

Wow…my OP has warped into something completely different