Family and Employer Question

[Greg_McPherran]

Hello,

I request thoughts on this scenario:

A man (a father of a family) has not been working for several months (while attempting to start a business) so he decides to seek a job. A company plans to hire several people and the man is in the first group of new hires. The company is large, has a good financial position, and they have a good budget for buying new equipment (e.g. computers, etc.). The job is initially a 3-6 month contract but the company said they are hiring the people to be employees and they will become regular employees after the contract period. The agency contract even stipulates that there are no obstacles to the contractor becoming an employee of the client after the initial work order period (standard contracts are 1yr *after the contract *before contractor can work directly for client except through an agreed agency fee).

The man accepts the job and begins work there. After a week or two, some other employers call to interview the man. These interviews are for permanent jobs closer to home. The man thinks it is best just to focus on the new job and not look into a possible job change. The man’s wife thinks the man should keep the new job and interview at the other jobs to see what they might offer. There is some disagreement over this.

The man seeks to stabilize and has had many job changes in the past. The man thinks it is best to just cooperate with the current employer and agency, focus on the work at hand, and enjoy family life. Recall the man had been out or work for several months. The man also thinks that it is a good idea to build good relationships. The man thinks that it would be unfair to the employer to consider another job only weeks after starting the new job. The man would also have to interview off-hours or take a bit of time away from the new job. The man does not desire this additional stress.

The man’s wife thinks there is no harm in seeing what they might offer since they are permanent jobs closer to home. She is also concerned that even though the current job is to become permament, there are no guarantees. The man did phone interview with the two prospective employers and the jobs did not sound like they were for significantly different roles or pay than the current job.

The man also explains to his wife that the distraction of continuing interviewing will not help him grow and focus on his new job. The man also would be very uncomfortable having to leave the new employer shortly after beginning a new job.

The man’s wife thinks having a permanent job now is better than counting on the contract to go permanent even if the employer said it will become permanent.

So I ask these questions:

1. In general, it is unethical to consider a new job a few weeks after starting one (even if it is contract to permanent)?
2. Is it unreasonable for a worker to just want to cooperate with the agency and employer and settle into the new job without having to think about other interviews? Is it unreasonable for a person to just want to be settled about this in their minds?
3. If the wife disagrees, should the man consider the other jobs for her sake even if he thinks it is best to focus only on the new job?

Any thoughts greatly appreciated.

Thank You,
Greg

 

[Princess_Abby]

I can see both sides. But as a wife, stability is so important to me. I would be very nervous if my husband became a contractor. He has friends who contract out and make a bit more money than he, as an employee, but he does not have to pay for our benefits out of pocket, as they do. So, being an employee is much better. He also gets huge bonuses, regular promotions, etc.

We are in the process of (possibly) moving 1200 miles away within the next year or so, and so the job hunt will begin shortly. I know the area we are moving to has MANY contract positions available. If my husband accepted a contract position in the scenario that you just describe, I’m sure he, too, might have qualms about suddenly adjusting to a new situation and leaving the current employer high and dry. But, I think my husband would eventually see that stability far outweighs the POTENTIAL for stability, if pay is equal and distance to work is not much of a consideration.

so, i guess what i’m saying is that i would do anything reasonable to assure stability for my family. an interview or two and a possible job offer is perfectly reasonable in my estimation, if it will lend a permanent, stable job.

 

[darcee]

1. Unless you have signed a contact or in some way made a binding promise to continue working some place you are in no way obligated to stay there. Interviewing for other positions is in no way unethical. In fact, with a family to consider I think it would be unethical to NOT be looking for the best job (best in location, pay, stability and benefits). If the current position is lacking in anyway a family man has an obligation to try his best to improve the situation. Duty to family is a higher duty then duty to employeer.
2. It is not unreasonable, it is even understandable, but it might not be the best course of action.
3. Yes, especially if the other things are factors. Interviewing is a painful process for many… but what if a great job close to home with better pay and benefits was the result.

-D

 

[theTaxCollector]

Greg_McPherran:

So I ask these questions:

1. In general, it is unethical to consider a new job a few weeks after starting one (even if it is contract to permanent)?
2. Is it unreasonable for a worker to just want to cooperate with the agency and employer and settle into the new job without having to think about other interviews? Is it unreasonable for a person to just want to be settled about this in their minds?
3. If the wife disagrees, should the man consider the other jobs for her sake even if he thinks it is best to focus only on the new job?

1. You always work for yourself - not any company. I do not believe that looking for other positions is unethical. As a person who performs interviews jumps in unemployment often occur for various reasons. Making a habit of it is not always looked upon favorably, but most everbody understands exceptions.
2. No, it is not unreasonable. It is perfectly normal and acceptable. There are no real guarantees either way.
3. A husband must always seriously consider his wife’s opinion (assuming it is given reasonably and in good faith). But, in the end, he must make the decision himself. To thine own self be true. If you are not, you could be getting into trouble.

My wife strongly advised against my last career move. My former employer was excellent to me, but I felt I needed more challenge in my professional life. I moved 5 years ago and now she absolutely is amazed at what a good decision it has been for our family.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Grayton]

I agree with darcee.

But let me add one thought based on personal experience.

If a man does not heed his wife’s advice about this matter, his wife may sense that her ideas are not being honored. In that case, the man had better prove himself right, or there may be a grievance in their marriage for years to come.

In the case you mentioned, if I were the man, I would put up with the temporary inconvenience and explore the other options, even if I only did so to honor my wife.

 

[jess7396]

1. In general, it is unethical to consider a new job a few weeks after starting one (even if it is contract to permanent)?

Nope- not unethical- as a matter of fact my dh is doing that now- today he is accepting a new job and they will begin his background check right away- it will take 2-3 weeks- in the meantime he will be continuing interviews for another job which would be closer to home, he may end up actually starting the first job before finding out if he got the second, and while he will feel a bit guilty about leaving the first job, he will do what is best for our family.

1. Is it unreasonable for a worker to just want to cooperate with the agency and employer and settle into the new job without having to think about other interviews? Is it unreasonable for a person to just want to be settled about this in their minds?

Not at all unreasonable, I think I might feel that way too.

1. If the wife disagrees, should the man consider the other jobs for her sake even if he thinks it is best to focus only on the new job?

The husband and wife should really hash it out- lay it all on the table, pray about it together, etc… If it is “inconvenience” for the husband, but extremely important to the wife’s sense of security- he should try to put her needs before his own, esp. if his need is to avoid temporary unpleasantness and her need is long term stability. (in other words her need would continue to be an issue for a longer time). I do think the husband should pick the job which he would be happiest with, but should try to consider his wife’s need for stability, it is VERY hard to be a non-working spouse and feel like you have no control at all in these kinds of things, you know there is a lot of pressure on your husband to “bring home the bacon” and you are unable to share that burden, it can be hard on a wife. I wish I could help shoulder my dh’s stress, but I also need to be home with my kids.

OK, sorry for rambling, this is just something we have been through and I thought the wife’s perspective should be fully considered (although luckily for me, my dh and I both want him to keep up the interviews for the possibility that he could be home more ).

Good luck!
~Patty

 

[otm]

I get the feeling from the original post that there is a smoke screen being layed down, but I can’t discern why. Is it fear over past instabiltiy?

If you are a contract worker rather than an employee, then the terms of your contract may apply. But if this is a temp position, the contract is between the temp agency and the employer; you can quit tomorrow.

Further interviews will cause stress? And the point is…?
Ignoring your wife’s request won’t cause stress???

The distraction of interviewing will interfer with focusing on the job at hand? Sounds like a smoke screen to me…

I think that there is overstatement about the security after the contract time ends. It is stated in a way that sounds like a guarantee, which I highly doubt. The others are permanent jobs (as permanent as any job can be…). But this one isn’t, as best I can see.

I suspect that there is a much deeper issue, and it is being avoided; posssibly having a tie to prior work history. Time to seek some professional help? Time to interview one or both of the other jobs? Time to quit setting up for failure, or sabotaging success?