L
littleton
Guest
I will let Kathleen answer in more detail.Hi!
I finished your book and like I had mentioned earlier have found it very inspirational. I loved the chapter on marriage, among other chapters. Thanks!
I have a few questions:
1.
With regards to discipline, I often wonder what approach to take with my 2 year old. She can be very strong willed (and I don’t want to thwart that, just help guide her better) but sometimes I wonder if I am doing a disservice to her by talking her through obeying us rather than telling her what needs to be done plain and simple and then enforcing some sort of consequence (punishment) if she does not obey (which happens very often). I try to use the positive reinforcement approach, but sometimes I feel like the only way she will obey is if I talk her through it (positive encouragement) and am not helping her be obedient. I don’t know if you can understand what I just posted, but I guess my dilemma is how to help a 2 year old be more obedient rather than using psychology to get her to do what needs to be done. Also, I was wondering what kind of punishment you would suggest for young children like her when they disobey (especially in serious things like doing something that can hurt them or their younger sibling).
- Do you have any advice for going to Mass with little ones? We only have two right now and are wondering how we are going to do it when we have our third all under three and we are outnumbered adults to babies. I know of families that take turns going to Mass and leave their little ones at home, but we would rather all go together and have the little ones be at Mass.
- Before your older kids were old enough to help out, how did you manage social activities? Did you avoid them? Get babysitters? Take them with you (if it was appropriate)? I’m talking about weddings, parties, restaurants, where the whole family is invited, even if many people there will be couples without children or with older children. We have taken our kids to family appropriate activities and settings yet have gotten many comments about how people would never go with their kids, or would get a sitter, or what not. I am not talking about situations where our kids may “disturb” others, but just situations in which it is clearly a lot more work to go with the whole family rather than just hire a sitter or just stay at home. I was wondering whether you had a philosophy in this area. Hmm, if you have any questions on what I am asking please let me know, I don’t know if this question was clear either
- For the two year old:
Yes, lots of praise and positive motivation and encouragement,but with a mix of the following:
I remember a quote from Archbishop Fulton Sheen: “A pat on the back builds character as long as it is delivered low enough, hard enough and often enough.” (always balanced and tempered with your passions under control)
and/or: put him or her in time out in a play pen or crib.
Be consisitent with consequences without tiring yourself with useless excessive warnings. Once you establish authority you will not have to punish very often as your child will know the consequences.
Having said all that some strongwilled children will defy you no matter what. There is no stategy that works perfectly al the time. Some misbehavior is normal We have a fallen human nature. Love them. Keep your peace, do your best and know that Christ is with you. - Go together. Family unity is so important. They learn and experience that Mass is something we, our family participates in together. Don’t worry too much about your children making some noise when it happens. This is normal. Jesus said* let the children come unto me.* Mass is not only for empty nesters. Your family presence will be a great and needed testimony to others, though you will be criticized by some, as is the case anytime we follow God’s will and are instruments of his light.
- Take your children with you whereever it makes sense. Don’t worrry about the negative comments. You are a beautiful witness, the salt of the earth. * Beware when all men speak well of you.*
Having said that I think a date night for you and your husband as often as you decide, say every week or two, where you get a trustworthy babysitter where possible, and are able to just be with and for each other is worth its weight in gold for a marriage. God, then spouse, then children is the proper hierarchy of values.
. When this thread started a while back I was preg with #3, now I a, preg with #6, our half dozen, still far from a dozen plus 2, but more than the 2 I had out of womb when I read it the first time.