Family marriages outside the Catholic Church

[coopnann]

Ugh.
My brother and my father in law have both been baptized as Catholics, have grown up Catholic, and attend Mass. Both are due to marry this year. This will be the third marriage for both.

My brother was married in a Baptist church, then a Lutheran church, now by a Baptist preacher again, in the fall. He also plans on moving in with fiancée (and her 17 year old son) a few months prior. Last night I finally sent him a message asking him to speak with a priest to see if his other marriages are considered valid, if he needs to look into an annulment, or if he is free to marry. His response today was none of that is necessary, since he did not get married in a Catholic church before, and he is not now either.

My father in law was married in the Catholic Church, then in the Greek Orthodox church, now very soon at the Justice of the Peace (because he has not received an annulment, though has recently begun the process). He says he’ll do “whatever it takes to get it done” so then they can have a church wedding. My husband said he tried to explain the Church does not give them out like trick-or-treat candies.
Last night FIL said he wants to bring up the lady for a visit in May. My husband said he would have to talk to me, and how would we explain that to our children.

What do you do when you have family who is Catholic, but marries outside the Catholic church, and does not see a need to validated in the Church? Do you go? If not, does that sever relations?

What about visits from family here or at their house? (This would involve overnight because of distance.)

Any advice from anyone who has had a similar experience is appreciated. Thanks.

 

[phil19034]

Ugh.
My brother and my father in law have both been baptized as Catholics, have grown up Catholic, and attend Mass. Both are due to marry this year. This will be the third marriage for both.

My brother was married in a Baptist church, then a Lutheran church, now by a Baptist preacher again, in the fall. He also plans on moving in with fiancée (and her 17 year old son) a few months prior. Last night I finally sent him a message asking him to speak with a priest to see if his other marriages are considered valid, if he needs to look into an annulment, or if he is free to marry. His response today was none of that is necessary, since he did not get married in a Catholic church before, and he is not now either.

My father in law was married in the Catholic Church, then in the Greek Orthodox church, now very soon at the Justice of the Peace (because he has not received an annulment, though has recently begun the process). He says he’ll do “whatever it takes to get it done” so then they can have a church wedding. My husband said he tried to explain the Church does not give them out like trick-or-treat candies.
Last night FIL said he wants to bring up the lady for a visit in May. My husband said he would have to talk to me, and how would we explain that to our children.

What do you do when you have family who is Catholic, but marries outside the Catholic church, and does not see a need to validated in the Church? Do you go? If not, does that sever relations?

What about visits from family here or at their house? (This would involve overnight because of distance.)

Any advice from anyone who has had a similar experience is appreciated. Thanks.

In regards to the overnight stay, I would emphasize a hotel. My mother-in-law stays in a hotel when she brings her boyfriend. It is no different than when my mother-in-law had me sleep on the couch before my wife and I were married every time I visited them.

But make sure you 100% own anything dealing with your brother and your husband owns 100% what happens with your father-in-law.

In regards to skipping a wedding, the question is will skipping the wedding cause serious, long term damage to your relationship? And will the message you send by skipping the wedding help them or someone else in your family (like your kids)?

BTW - in regards to your brother, he can most likely receive two lack of form annulments pretty quickly and receive dispensation for his new wedding (or post wedding receive a convalidation or Radical Sanation if/when he returns to practicing his faith)