Family obligations

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Sciwoman

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Until very recently I lived with my sister and her three children (twin boys, age 11 & a girl, age 8). She continually makes exceedly bad moral choices when it comes to men and drugs. Part of the reason I left was that I felt I was enabling her to live this immoral lifestyle. However, I worry about the children. If I go back, I fear I could go down with her when the way she lives catches up with her. But, if I stay away, I fear for her children. What is my moral obligation toward my sister and her children in this circumstance?
 
Peace be with you!

How much have you talked with her about her lifestyle? Have you expressed your concerns about her children to her? I realize that it is often hard to talk with people about problems with drugs, alcohal, ect. Is there anyone else that you could bring to help talk to her?

In Christ,
Rand
 
Wow, that IS huge!! And places quite a load on you!!

First, and Always, devote it to prayer!!

Your sister has been given information about God, we can’t mess with free will!! She has to be “let go” in a sense. No help, so she can be forced to a better life. If we keep helping those who continue to hurt themselves and others around them, then we do not love them!! TOUGH LOVE, it is necessary sometimes, and is much harder on us than on them!! But if she is never faced with “no where to go” and I do mean Literally, then how can she be faced with Devine Intervention?? Sometimes, we have to let our loved ones fall so hard that they hit face first into concrete, so that They will call out out to God!! Because they will have on one else to call on!! We want this!!

Your obligation at this point is to let God save your sister and you must save those kids!! They are the innocent ones here. If you know abuse or neglect or endangerment is occuring it is our Godly and Civil Duty to protect the children at all costs. Do not Delay another moment!! Child Protective Services have a hotline, you can call anytime.

If you do not want them involved, threaten your sister w/ them. Let her know you are leaving and you ARE taking the kids!! She WILL fight, but just let her know, there is nothing else you can do for her except the biggest favor, making sure she does not kill her own kids!!! So, you ARE taking them or CPS is taking them. Those are her ONLY choices. and leave her NO money when you leave. Why feel obligated to give HER money when you are taking on even more financial responsibilities of hers, her kids!!

my prayers are with you. This is more serious than you could know.
My own experience: I suspected my friend of doing drugs and feared for her child. Then all the physical signs pointed I was right, and then came other things and so forth. I hesitated and her 13 month old ended up in the ER in cardiac arrest, they found cocain in his system!! Talk about GUILT
 
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dragonfly:
Wow, that IS huge!! And places quite a load on you!!

First, and Always, devote it to prayer!!

Your sister has been given information about God, we can’t mess with free will!! She has to be “let go” in a sense. No help, so she can be forced to a better life. If we keep helping those who continue to hurt themselves and others around them, then we do not love them!! TOUGH LOVE, it is necessary sometimes, and is much harder on us than on them!! But if she is never faced with “no where to go” and I do mean Literally, then how can she be faced with Devine Intervention?? Sometimes, we have to let our loved ones fall so hard that they hit face first into concrete, so that They will call out out to God!! Because they will have on one else to call on!! We want this!!

Your obligation at this point is to let God save your sister and you must save those kids!! They are the innocent ones here. If you know abuse or neglect or endangerment is occuring it is our Godly and Civil Duty to protect the children at all costs. Do not Delay another moment!! Child Protective Services have a hotline, you can call anytime.

If you do not want them involved, threaten your sister w/ them. Let her know you are leaving and you ARE taking the kids!! She WILL fight, but just let her know, there is nothing else you can do for her except the biggest favor, making sure she does not kill her own kids!!! So, you ARE taking them or CPS is taking them. Those are her ONLY choices. and leave her NO money when you leave. Why feel obligated to give HER money when you are taking on even more financial responsibilities of hers, her kids!!

my prayers are with you. This is more serious than you could know.
My own experience: I suspected my friend of doing drugs and feared for her child. Then all the physical signs pointed I was right, and then came other things and so forth. I hesitated and her 13 month old ended up in the ER in cardiac arrest, they found cocain in his system!! Talk about GUILT
**great post:thumbsup: **

**Never an easy situation to be in, but tough choices have to be made by the *responsible ***adults in those poor kids’ lives. God grant you the courage and wisdom to help those kids!!!

Malia
 
Thank you for your replies, they have given me some things to think about.

In the past we have tried confronting my sister about her lifestyle. She would straighten up for a little while, until the next man came along. Actually, the only time she does drugs is when she is hooked up with some one else who does them.

Someone in the family called social services a couple of years ago. It did not go anywhere because they could find no evidence of neglect, abuse, or drug use it the home.

When I left, I considered taking the children. However, since my sister threw me out of the house with no where to go (at the urging of her current live-in boyfriend) I am currently living the sparebed room of my brother’s wife’s sister. When I get my own place, I have thought about getting the children if the boyfriend in not in jail by then. He got arrested recently on several charges and his trial is Wednesday. If he goes to jail, she will straighten up. Maybe this will be the wake-up call she needs.

Keep praying for her, her children, and me.

God bless you all.
 
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