Family of non-Catholics

[lilomorgan]

I’ve made the decision to convert to catholicism (begin RCIA for the already baptized) - however, my family is very much Christian (Wesleyen, to be exact). I’m not sure how to even bring it up to them or explain my decision without offending =( I know my parents and brother will support me, but my entire (and rather large) extended family are not exactly supporters of Catholicism, and I am trying to not put my parents in the situation where they’ll feel they’ll need to defend my choices. Any suggestions??

If it helps - I’m a 22 year old female, was very active in my former church up until about 6 years ago, and am applying to a jesuit university for next fall. Any suggestions will be much appreciated! Best regards!!

 

[jmcrae]

I am in a similar situation, having been raised in a family of devout Protestants - our family is one of the founding families of the church that my mother and husband currently attend.

What I found was that people are never as good as you hope they will be, nor as bad as you fear.

What I found very helpful was that I didn’t announce straight away that I was converting. Instead, I told them that I was taking a course on Catholicism in order to investigate the claims of the Church for myself. (Nobody who likes to think of himself as open-minded would object to that.) I kept them updated on my learning and my progress insofar as they were interested. When it came time to send out invitations for my Confirmation, the invitations were politely refused, but not unexpected.

 

[lilomorgan]

Jmcrae - Your words are wise! Not to mention, the confirmation I was hoping to receive. Hopefully my family will not decline the invitations, but it is good to know that I’m not alone in feeling ‘okay’ if they’re not interested. Thank you!!

 

[steelboss]

I am the only Catholic in my family as well.
My wife is Presbyterian, and the majority of the rest of my family hates churches whatsoever and opt for the personal relationship with Christ.

I will not lie - this has been tough for me.
My mother keeps telling me what I believe, it drives me nuts.
My grandfather has pretty much cut me off.
My dad has been quite accepting, but he is very ambiguous about his religion and just wants everyone to be happy.
My sister is a classic Bible thumper who is just itching to get at me.
She called my wife last week and told her to “stay strong”.

My wife and I have a pretty healthy relationship. She has never been particularly strong in theology, but is adamant that she does not want me to push her into Catholicism and wants to go at her own pace, although I sometimes believe that pace is backwards.

I just want to share what I believe to be the most fantastic experience of my life to the people I love most - and they think I have gone off the deep end.

I will pray for you and your family.
No matter what - don’t let the beliefs of those around you divert you from you know to be the truth.
Our troubles are nothing compared to the glory of Christ and His bride the church.
I would do it again - and a thousand times over.

Luke 12:51-53 : Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division; for henceforth in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three; they will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against her mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law."

 

[Laurie_86]

I will pray for you. I know how difficult this is…cause it sounds almost very similar to what I’m going through with my conversion!

I’m 22 year old college student who just started RCIA as well and my family has been less than supportive at times. I grew up very active in the Methodist church, but for years have been discouraged by the Protestant church. My boyfriend and I are engaged and some extended family has threatened not to come to my wedding. I hope their threat is just a reaction to the news that I am converting…but I’m trying to be prepared that they may not come. The wedding is in summer 2010 so they’ve still got time to come around!

It is good that your immediate family is supportive of you. What a blessing! The approach of easing your extended family into the fact that you are converting may work better if you live in a different city from them, but if you are in the same city and they know your schedule it may be best just to be honest with them. Hiding it from them could make hearing the news of your conversion worse. I told my family starting with the people I knew would accept my decision to the people I knew would flip out. I have a few Protestant family members who are still flipping out but it’s to be expected!

I’ve just gotten to the point with some of my family I realize I don’t have answers that will satisfy them. I told my cousin the other day I didn’t know everything, but this was where Christ is calling me and he could either accept it or make it a divide between us. I’ve come to realize I could lose some of my family because of my conversion and I’ll cross that bridge should it happen. But I just encourage you to be honest with them, show them what you are learning in RCIA, and answer their questions the best you can. Maybe once you are comfortable invite a few to Mass with you…I did this with my Mom and she was shocked to find a lot of similar elements as in the Protestant church.

I am sorry for the difficulties you are going through. I know what a struggle it must be. If you need anything let me know! :hug1:

 

[Highwayhound]

Any suggestions?

Love them just as Jesus would love them (this is not my idea I am paraphrasing)

Steelboss, please consider the following:

Jesus spent hours in Gethsemane pondering a fate he knew, He was betrayed by a close friend, scourged while strapped to a pillar, He was stripped of his garments and humiliated with a “crown” of thorns, subjected to public humiliation by being forced to carry his instrument of death through the local town and had a bunch of spikes hammered into him.

So by my scorecard you are doing pretty good.

I wish you all well with your lives and in all cases remember to let your light shine for all those around to see.

 

[Armor_of_God]

Hi Lilo…I’m glad you joined the Forums!

I’ve made the decision to convert to catholicism (begin RCIA for the already baptized) - however, my family is very much Christian

Catholics are very much Christian, too.

I’m not sure how to even bring it up to them or explain my decision without offending =( I know my parents and brother will support me, but my entire (and rather large) extended family are not exactly supporters of Catholicism, and I am trying to not put my parents in the situation where they’ll feel they’ll need to defend my choices. Any suggestions??

I don’t think you need to broadcast your journey to your extended family, especially if you say you haven’t been active in your church for six years. I agree with the other posters about being honest, but I don’t think you need to tell if people don’t ask. In other words, keep it low key, pray, enjoy your faith journey, and answer questions about the Faith if people ask. Sometimes it really depends on the person - some people are able to deal with something better if they know about it gradually (let it sink in), while others don’t really accept the fact until the “deal is sealed”. I’m thinking you will have to use your discretion based on how well you know your family members.

Regarding your parents/brother…I would ask them to defer all questions from the family directly to you. So, if asked, your Mom could say: “You will have to ask Lilo about that.”

God bless!

 

[buzymama]

My husband and I just started RCIA. My family is Lutheran and his parents don’t attend church.

It has been a touchy subject with my family. We talk about it, but not real indepth. I prayer in time it will get easier for all of us.

Stay Strong.