Family/step-mom problems, offended by "evangelization"

[j2c99]

Hi everyone, I have a complicated situation. I’m a graduating senior out of college, and have recently chosen to convert and give my life to Jesus. I know I am called to evangelize and spread the truth, donate, touch lives, help my fellow brothers and sisters. When I first started my learning and conversion, I was very passionate , as I always am with new things that I find meaningful in my life.

I might have been a little unrefined in my manner of speaking, especially to my father and his wife, my stepmother. Both are very business-oriented, big money seeking/making individuals. The stepmom has a type A personality, used to be Catholic, converted to Judaism for prior marriage reasons, and is now what I believe an agnostic or maybe even atheist. Same gos for my father, I think (as far as him being agnostic or maybe atheist).

So my stepmom took great offense when I got her a few religious books, especially the Catholicism For Dummies book, as it helped me so much in my Catholic-learning infancy. She will not admit it, but I think she still holds a grudge for that, as an insult to her faith now with “Judaism”, if we can even call it that, and that I am too set in my ways and not listening to advice from my elders; “I’m on a journey in life and will learn that everyone has a different path.” I will never listen to people who are not in the way of Christ, as far as advice for marriage, career, and how to live my life, go. My dad is a very loving man, a little lost in his path to God, but he knows God exists somewhere deep down inside of him.

She is rebellious, my opinion, and he gos along with that given they are with eachother. Life has been a problem since then, and I need to reconcile with her. Other than an apology for the the title of the book and saying I didnt mean to offend her, what can I do? Its a very bad situation and I need my dads help financially til I get into law school. I dont want to say the devil is doing everything bad everywhere, but these problems are nagging evils , and it seems stemming from money and my stepmom.

I know I havent described myself to well or prior circumstances, so I could elaborate more if someone needed more information. What do you think I should do to reconcile with her and thus make my dad’s life better between me and her?

 

[Orchanian]

Patrick Madrid wrote a good book called Search and Rescue, about how to bring people into the Church. I’ll share a few tips here, and also some of my mistakes.

First, you are probably right that you came on too strong. Many who are filled with the joy of Christ have a tendency to do that. I liken it to someone asking for a drink of water and I use a fire hose. A bit of overkill. You can apologize (and probably should) for coming on too strong. Explain how things have changed for you now that you know Christ and that your intent was a good one, but maybe not acted on in the most effective way. Be very clear that you didn’t mean to insult. Emphasize the love you have for them.

Next, take a break from discussing religion with them for a time. Instead, let your life, your words, your actions demonstrate what it means to be an active Catholic Christian. Share what you’re doing with them, tell them about what you’ve learned at Mass and how you are using that in your life (not how THEY can use it). Write letters about what’s happening in your life. Don’t make any demands of them, just share the changes in your life every so often.

At some time, a door will open a bit and you may have the opportunity to answer some questions for them. Be ready by continuing to learn about your faith.

Most important of all, pray for them every day. Say a rosary for their conversion. Fast on a regular basis (e.g. only one meal on Fridays). I have given up candy until a person I love comes back to the church (and I REALLY like candy…). I have fasted on Fridays for a friend’s faith conversion.

My last point is this: if they ever accuse you of being a hypocrite (i.e. not acting like a Christian), own up to it (if it’s true). We all have trouble living a perfect life, and they may try to challenge you on something you aren’t doing right. Acknowledge that weakness and then work on it. Your change in that area might be just the example they need to believe.

Peace!

 

[j2c99]

Orchanian, brilliant post! Thank you so much. What you said is precisely what I was looking for and needed help with. You’re dead accurate with how I felt I came across to them before and now how I am, and with what I should be doing.

Thank you and I’ll be praying for your intentions.

 

[Peter167]

Orchanian, brilliant post! Thank you so much. What you said is precisely what I was looking for and needed help with. You’re dead accurate with how I felt I came across to them before and now how I am, and with what I should be doing.

Thank you and I’ll be praying for your intentions.

I second that.

Conversion takes time. People are opened minded when they’re speaking to someone they respect. Earn that respect, the rest comes with time.