Family Unsupportive of Faith

  • Thread starter Thread starter Scott84
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

Scott84

Guest
Since I made the decision to convert a year ago, (I’m in RCIA, will be baptized and confirmed into the Church this April 20) my family with the exception of my father has been unsupportive of my Faith.

Before I go further, my family is non denominated Protestant, I was never baptized (my family doesn’t believe in sacraments whatsoever).

I’ve had debates and arguments with my mother and sister about the Catholic Faith. And my mother has been very frustrated. She’s complained to me how the Catholic Faith is so strict, has traditions, symbolisms, etc.

When talking to her the other day she kept saying “You don’t need to go to a priest to confess your sins, nor do you have to pray to Mary. Nor do you even have to go to Church to meet God. Just pray to Jesus and that’s all you need.”

I tried to explain to her in persona Christie and the Holy Eucharist, but to no avail. My mother has voiced her hostility and problems she has with the Church before.

My girlfriend and I are both becoming Catholic, and I plan to propose to her shortly after I am baptized. I want us to raise a good Catholic family together. But I am so frustrated that having a different confession from the rest of my family has been causing so much tension and grief. Is anyone here in a similar boat? Does anyone have any advice here? I’d appreciate any wisdom anyone has to offer!
 
Last edited:
I have come from a family who is turning the other way to Protestant because they feel that the Catholic church has been placed in many negative views lately and they want to leave Catholicism because Protestants are more charitable and “laid back with certain views”. I was handed a King James Version bible by my uncle when my Father recently passed and said we were lied to about the extra books in our Catholic Bible! And that I should see a Pastor to talk about my father? Interestingly enough they buy into the fact that communion is not supposed to be eucharist but rather a social get together and Praise Jesus only Sunday because they feel the Lord doesnt want to be prayed to by “guidelines” rather more of an improv style form of prayer and reading from the bible only. I feel you, family can be weird but I welcome you to the Catholic Faith! There will be many repetitive arguments but in all it is worth it !!! The best is knowing you can pray for them and don’t even have to tell them!
 
Scott84 said:
I’ve had debates and arguments with my mother and sister about the Catholic Faith.
Click to expand...
That probably needs to stop. When they say something against Catholicism, just say that you’ve already explained it, and you’re sorry they feel that way. Arguments aren’t going to convert them. Show them the peace and love that belonging to the Church gives you.
 
Remember that your family is coming from a place of concern and love.
They’re worried about you.
They don’t need to be, but they are.
Like the poster upthread said, let your actions be your form of evangelization, pray for your family and best of luck with your upcoming baptism and engagement!
 
Above all, prayers for you to learn and grow strong in your faith.

I am the husband, and had to watch and support my wife in what appears to be a very similar situation. In addition to the conflict over faith, there can also be parent child conflict. My father in law, a faith filled Baptist, was accepting after knowing it brought her closer to God and Jesus; her mother, has neve come to that understanding.

Live your life, marry, and raise your children strong in the faith. Be prepared and answer the objections and sniping, but do not argue as it is often fruitless. Love her always, but be prepared to set boundaries and limits.
 
If you’re old enough to get engaged and get married and have a family, you are old enough to choose your own church for yourself. I think I’d tell the family that, and then close the topic and make sure they know it’s closed.
 
Scott84 said:
Does anyone have any advice here?
Click to expand...
Stop talking about it.

Set boundaries now. When you mom starts up say, “I appreciate your concern, but I’m happy with my decision and this isn’t up for discussion.” It’s up to you to create a new dynamic by closing the topic for discussion and then sticking to it. If she tries to reengage, change the subject. If she keeps it up, be upfront and say, “mom, the discussion is closed. If we can’t move on to another subject, I’ll have to leave/hang up/limit time here.”
 
It will be very good for the situation if you just stop trying to defend the faith to someone who is against it. You need to surround yourself with believers and those who support you in your faith. Pray for your mom, and grow in the faith and in the Lord’s strength so that others will see the light of Christ shining through you.

How wonderful that you and your girlfriend hope to marry and raise your children in the faith.

Jesus did remind us that we will be hated because of Him. His grace can sustain us!

God bless you on your spiritual journey.
 
Thanks everyone for your support, and for sharing some of your stories with me as well!

I’ve extended invites to my family if they ever wanted to attend Mass. My parish did have a family dinner on Sunday and my family attended with me. I was shocked about that at first. My sister seems to have softened and has been asking me some questions about the Faith, but my mother, well it’s complicated whenever we talk religious matters.

My father on the other hand when I talk to him has been extremely supportive of my conversion.

I for one don’t see religion as a giant smorgasbord where you can just pick the faith that suits your lifestyle. I chose the Catholic Faith because I see the Catholic Church as the one true Church Jesus Christ founded. All the other churches broke away from the Catholic Church.

I just don’t like to see tension in the family you know? My girlfriend likewise also has tension in her family because of her conversion. Her mother calls going to Mass “the Catholic thing”. She (my girlfriend), like me also comes from a Protestant family and has never been baptized.

In a parallel, my girlfriend’s father like my father doesn’t have a problem with her converting also. He loves theology and has expressed interest in going to a Traditional Latin Mass with us sometime.
 
Last edited:
This sounds very positive! I am happy they attended. I have similar situation but on the other end. I am the parent with grown children. It has been difficult at times, quiet at other times. our closeness as a family does help. and then other times, like this morning, out of the blue comes remarks and not true statements. So I recommended they listen to the Patrick Madrid Show a few times and maybe they would like listening to him.
The best to you and your future wife. God bless
 
It takes two people to debate.

Do not engage in debates with your family, do not try to explain to your mom. Speak about the things you have in common, your love of Jesus, read Scripture together, pray together (and you don’t have to pull out a Rosary when you pray with them, just pray).

The idea is that your parents see you as a more loving, kind, joyful Christian the closer you get to the Church, so much that your mom tells her friends “well, you sound pray that your son goes to RCIA because you should see how much joy and love my Scotty has now!”
 
You know it’s times like these I find watching and listening to Venerable Fulton Sheen very comforting!
 
My family has not been that supportive of me since I converted nor have some of my friends. My son tells me about negative things he reads on the internet about the Catholic church. I have told him the Church has not professed to be perfect and has apologized for times in history it has been wrong. I tell him don’t believe everything you read on the internet.
 
❤️ Bishop Fulton Sheen, I love watching him still. yes, his truth brings comfort
 
Live the faith, love your family, and pray for each of them daily. Be patient. Great things will happen.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top