Family upset about my conversion to Catholicism

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treadingtiber

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I have made the decision to become Catholic, a decison I believe God has been calling me too for a while. My baptist parents are very angry and crushed. I’ve always been close to them, so it hurts to see them hurting.
I also feel as if this decision has caused me to lose other past relationships. As a result, many ties with the past are cut off. My future also looks lonely as my parents told me they would never bless a marriage to a Catholic, so all hopes of marriage and a family are gone as well. I could get kicked out of my Baptist university if they find out. In short, I feel very alone, anxious about the future and depressed.

Has anyone gone through similar family conflicts? Prayers appreciated.
 
Perhaps you should speak to a priest about your situation.
I pray you receive guidance and support in your decision.
God bless.
 
Yes, I have. It was a brief conversation, but in a nutshell he counselled me to look at the examples in Scripture of individuals who were called by God to do something and explained that obeying God was not breaking the commandment of honoring your father and mother. As a result of his counsel, I started RCIA. I am glad I did, but fearful of the future.
 
I’m not surprised that your anxious about the future. I have had some opposition but far less than you describe and I’m also much older I’m sure.

There are others on this forum who have more to offer you in terms of practical steps that may be of use. I can only say that you must trust in God and pray for guidance. I will add my prayer to yours and sincerely hope that it will help, our prayers are heard I’m sure you know and the rest is in Gods hands.
@(name removed by moderator) May be able to offer something more too.
God bless. Remember you’re not alone.
 
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Something I have heard from others in your situation is that parents often see their child choosing another religion as a rejection of them and everything they stand for. It’s important to let your parents know that you value them and value how you’ve been brought up.

They gave you the gift of faith. They taught you how to pray. They taught you about scripture, worship, service to others, and sacrificial love. You appreciate these things and will continue to value them, even if you are expressing them in a slightly different way.

Prayers as you move forward.
 
I have been thinking about you these past few days and was going to message you to see how you were doing! I know and understand your struggles and difficulties - you have great courage to do so at a young age, I was 61 and it was awful with my parents. I spent time at adoration which helped - I knew what I was doing was right, but it hurts. I will keep you in my prayers. Two years later, I will say there is less tension, but my dad passed away and it’s sad to say, but that has made it easier. I have a great circle of friends I have made through RCIA , Bible studies, and being involved at my parish. Don’t give up hope for marriage and a family. Right now, they say they won’t accept it, but they may come around. If conversation comes up with them, stress that you are thankful for your Baptist upbringing and their influence. It has given you a deep appreciate and love of God, and out of that has grown your desire to be closer, to search for the Church founded by Christ, and to learn from those who actually sat under His teaching. I keep thinking that if my own family would be open to attending Mass just one time, they would see that we have more in common than different. I will pray for the Holy Spirit to open their hearts, minds, ears and eyes. I am so happy for you.
 
It’s always hard to be at odds with your own parents, but it’s important to remember that as an adult, you have to make your own choices. I’ve never been in this situation over religion, but I’ve had to struggle to get my mother to accept that I’m simply not going to do something that she wants me to do. I second what another poster said and reassure them that you have not made this decisions to spite them or reject them. Maybe ask them if they want you to go on living a lie, just so they won’t be angry with you? That’s not a reasonable, loving parent-child relationship. In regards to the other issues, you do not need your parent’s blessing to get married. Of course, you would like it, but it isn’t necessary. One has the right to choose a spouse of their own, and that would be the case even if you still were Baptist and wanted to marry a Catholic or a person of any other faith. Regarding the university, I’ve never heard of an accredited university that did not allow students of any faith to study there. (At least not in the US where the vast majority of Baptist Universities are located.) If you are attending a university that really does have such a policy, I would be concerned anyway. The chances are that it is actually unaccredited, and your credits and degree will not be accepted at any other university and the door will be closed to you regarding some careers as well. I would definately look into that ASAP!
 
Yes, they definitely feel as if this decision is an affront to them even though I have attempted to explain that it is not.
 
There is no written policy. However, another student who is also an undercover Catholic so to speak was called into the Deans office and told he was not allowed to go to Mass while he was in school there.
The school is definitely accredited.
 
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Thank you, do you have names of saints that experienced similar situations?
What makes this so tricky is that it is not as if my parents are not Christian at all and are upset with me becoming a Christian. Instead they are Christians and believe I am falling away from Christ.
 
I have little advice about your school situation. Maybe take a step back and think if you really could face such massive consequences for being Catholic there. We often get overworried about stuff, or at least I do. The imagination runs wild sometimes. Unless you’re studying ministry or something (in which case I don’t understand why you’d stay) that would be an absurd overreaction from them.

When it comes to your family my advice is just to be patient and kind and answer all their questions if you can. Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know”. And don’t budge. Proclaim the truth when pressed even though I know it’s awkward and hurts, but it’s better in the long run. It’ll get better. I’m almost positive they’ll warm up to it. My parents reacted similarly until they saw what they thankfully still cared about most: That I still loved Jesus. In fact I think they’ve realized how much more happy and on fire for Him I am now. They hardly seem to mind at all these days.
 
Accredited by whom?

What is your course of study?

Honestly, I would not want to continue at a school that was so bigoted against Catholics.
 
HLC and CCNE
Nursing
I graduate this school year. It would be silly to transfer now.
 
Hmm…yes, my mom does not have dreams necessarily, but she will point to “answers to prayer” that she believes are a result of God trying to save me from Catholicism. I could also point to answers to prayer that support God’s leading me towards Catholicism. God is not schizophrenic!
 
I’m not studying ministry, but a fellow student with my same major almost got kicked out for going to Mass. He would have been kicked out if he hadn’t agreed to stop going.
 
treadingtiber said:
Has anyone gone through similar family conflicts? Prayers appreciated.
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treadingtiber said:
What makes this so tricky is that it is not as if my parents are not Christian at all and are upset with me becoming a Christian. Instead they are Christians and believe I am falling away from Christ.
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I 100% relate to this. My parents are also Baptist, and they were extremely upset when I told them (over 8 years ago) that I was planning to become a Catholic. It was honestly one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. My mom was crying, and they were all terribly disappointed in my and worried about my salvation, etc. (It wasn’t a one-time scene, either; various versions of this repeated over the course of months to years as they tried to talk me out of my decision.) I love my parents very much, and it was crushing to think that I was disappointing and hurting them so much. And yes, it makes the whole thing more confusing and sad that they are Christians too and that they thought I was rejecting my upbringing and childhood faith.

All that to say, I understand where you are coming from. Conservative/fundamentalist Baptist is usually one of the hardest backgrounds to convert from as far as family and friends are concerned. I will be sure to include you in my prayers today. Hang in there and stay close to Jesus. It will get better, though perhaps not in the near future. But it will get better.
treadingtiber said:
My future also looks lonely as my parents told me they would never bless a marriage to a Catholic, so all hopes of marriage and a family are gone as well.
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Take it one step at a time, and don’t worry about this part right now, unless you are currently engaged or on the verge of becoming engaged. Otherwise, a Catholic wedding is probably at least a few years away; and much can happen in that time. They will not always be as emotional about it as they are now. They may not like it any more in a few years than they do now, but they will be somewhat used to the idea by the time the prospect of a Catholic wedding comes around. (Plus, if you are an adult, you don’t need your parents’ blessing to be married. Sure, it could be a difficult thing if they don’t approve, but lack of parental blessing doesn’t mean that that you have to rule out a future with marriage and family.🙂)
 
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Welcome!

My mother once told me to get out of her house and that she was going to disinherit me because I wanted to dry a sweater. She always was begging me to visit her, so I drove across the country to visit, and that was how I was treated.

She also told me the same thing once again, when I visited my dad, who was getting on in years - he has died since. I felt like I had no family after that, other than my husband, and I re-organized my life so as not to expect my mother to ever have a place in my life.

Now she wants to know why I don’t visit and am not always available to her. I talk to her when I’m not busy, I buy her Christmas, birthday, and Mother’s day gifts, but I can’t be around her and be subject to that kind of abuse. I don’t have much money and I can’t afford to travel across the country frequently, especially to be told “get out.”

What I’m trying to get at by telling you this, is that it’s been a terrible loss, though with a caveat. I often feel as though I don’t have a mother, and my dad is gone. It is a loss, but it helps me to remember that we all have a great Father in heaven and that the Blessed Virgin Mary is our mother. And for all these years, I’ve never really been abandoned.
 
I suggest you read “Rome Sweet Home” by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. He was a protestant minister who converted, and faced some serious criticism, including from his wife. He is now one of the most respected Catholic apologists in the country. His story is encouraging.
I would check on whether it’s legal to forbid your going to mass as long as you’re in your school. That sounds pretty outrageous.
God bless. Things will definitely get better for you.
 
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