Fancy Restaurant With Brothers

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I was overwhelmed recently - and felt bad - in spirit.
Went to a fancy restaurant.
My elderly mom, wealthy older brother, a Police Officer brother,
Their wives and two nieces.
I drove up - and a handsome young guy gave me a stub
and drove off with my car -
Went in. Attractive doorkeeper women. Took coat. Stub.

Very dark atmosphere. Portrait paintings on the wall.
Saw a wall of wine and champagne - 200 bottles at least.
I thought I was at a Hollywood awards show -
The women and men were all movers and shakers of the world.
Place was packed at 7 pm - loud too -
You couldn’t really look around at others - sitting around you.
Menu was very pricey - 50 dollars a dish - was the starting.
My wealthy brother paid for it all -
After dinner they brought steamed white hand clothes.
A slice of cake - 10 dollars -

It really troubled me in spirit - afterwards.
It humbled me in a way I didn’t like.
Has anyone ever gone through something like this before ?
I’m anything but a high roller.
 
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Why were you troubled? Did you feel like you didn’t belong there? Are you envious that your brother has more money than you?
 
Believe me, I know it’s a blow to the ego. But here is a story I have from experience that is somewhat related. I work 70-90 hour weeks as a construction engineer and surveyor and make a healthy six figure salary. And guess what? It’s made me more miserable than ever. The bigger my paycheques became, the more miserable I became and further I grow from my fiancé. It eventually led to nasty nasty relationship issues and alcoholism issues for myself.

I don’t even have expensive taste. I live very humbly and just have a pile of money. And I get ZERO satisfaction from it.

Needless to say after Christmas I’m now applying for jobs that pay about half as much but provide much better balance. Money couldn’t be a worse indicator for moral value or integrity. It’s a measure of diligence I suppose. But Lord knows that money is not your answer here. Cheers.
 
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I’m unclear as to what troubled you. Feeling like it was too rich/arrogant/showy of an atmosphere and wrong to behave that way? Feeling bad your brother paid? Wishing you were that wealthy?

For a fun night out, I wouldn’t be worried about any of it. It’s enjoyable to be able to do those things once ini a while.
 
Not to criticize, but presuming you liked your original job, why didn’t you just donate your surplus funds to those who could use them? Surely that would have helped you feel happy. I’ve often thought about what I would do and where I would go if I was like Ebeneezer Scrooge at the end of the book and roaming around town with a lifetime of miser-ed wealth to give to anyone I like!
 
In friendship, while a gift is “nice”, the important thing is to think about the intent of the heart of the person giving to you. Then, when you know the heart of the gift giver, it is time for the reciprocation of thanksgiving and the debt of friendship.

Remember the poor woman Jesus saw at the temple who gave her whole livelihood in a few small coins as an offering - Jesus saw her heart that she was giving God the gift of her whole self in the virtue of gratitude for the life and love God had given her. She went home a friend with God. Many of the wealthy at the temple went home as gift traders - a little for God because they did not consider the intent of God in giving them life.

So, you thank your brother in a reciprocal and proportionate way. He will then look at the intent of your heart rather than at the actual gift of your gratitude, if he is your friend. And the back and forth love of friendship will continue.

John Martin
 
I was once in a community choir that had a lot of very wealthy people in it. I didn’t realize it was that sort of environment until I got there are realized that the CEO of the company my dad worked for was behind me in the tenor section. Many of the members of the choir made yearly donations that were over half of my yearly salary as a first year teacher. There were several “gala” and “fundraising parties and events” throughout the year. They often had 50/50 lotteries where you were supposed to buy a $50 ticket. Then when the name was drawn, there was the obligatory announcement that the winner was re-donating all of their winnings back to the choir. Then, about a month out from the end of the season, someone got an idea for the choir to take a trip to Italy. They made an announcement at a rehearsal to let them know by the next week if you weren’t able to attend. There were a lot of really fun moments and experiences during that year, but for much of the time, I felt like the biggest freeloader. Is that kind of what you were experiencing?
 
Good question. Honestly though, it’s Because up until a year ago I was an ardent Atheist. I’ve only come back to my childhood faith in the past few months. I do give generously to charity now. But the majority of the money I had accumulated has now been spent on a new home and my fiance’s education.
 
So, it was more of a detachment from a need to acquire materially as part of your reversion? That makes sense. I’ve always fantasized about being able to give people extravagant gifts that could make a big difference in their lives. I love stories like that. Before I got married, I used to raid the ornaments on our giving tree at school! They had to tell me to start putting them back so other staff could contribute too!
 
Oh no. My older brother works hard for his money -
travels the world - has had a heart attack - 260 pounds -
He’s gotta be sixty - five kids - all married - two divorced - and children.
For me, I felt like a monk out of his hermitage -
So no, I didn’t belong there -
And I’m a prudent eater of food -
I remember reading in Imatation of Christ -
Every time - he left - to go out into the world -
he came back, he felt, less of a man.
 
So you feel guilty because you indulged in a luxury? I’m just trying to understand the source of your anxiety.
 
I’m not sure how old you are Ryan - but I salute you in your decision.
Sounds like a New Years resolution -
Those hours would of made me a psychotic zombie !
Add alcohol ? AND a fiance ? Did you sleep ? lol -
I hope God guides you - into all happiness in 2019 !
Great share !
 
Please correct me if I’m wrong, but my guess is that you’re not comfortable with the idea of accepting hospitality that you are unable to repay in kind. If you were to take your brother and his family out to a meal, it would have to be in a restaurant that was a little less glamorous and a lot less pricey than the one you have described here. There’s nothing wrong with that – a lot of people, including myself, are liable to feel uneasy in that kind of situation.
 
Solomon did say - ALL was vanity.
I was shocked by it all - at first.
I’m a religious guy - not all out hardcore - but tough enough.
I could NEVER go to Las Vegas.
And I value money -
I’d rather buy a 200 dollar rosary from a convent.
 
Try and be focus on being grateful that you have a generous brother and that you have a good rship with him (not criticising you or suggesting you don’t already think so ) but maybe this is how you can get past it
 
Maybe you just felt like a fish out of water. If you don’t usually go out to those kinds of places, you may have felt uncomfortable because it’s not what you are used to. Maybe you were afraid you would do something wrong and be made fun of.

I hope you thanked your brother for his gracious hospitality toward you.
 
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