Fantisizing about your spouse sinful?

[siouxbhoney]

Hi. I am completely ignorant about all things catholic, as my husband and I have just made the decision to start researching conversion. I’ve been hopping around this website checking out Q&A, and hit on something that really has me confused. Is it really sinful to fantisize sexually about your spouse? I love my husband, and he is the only one I think about in this sense. This doesn’t make any sense to me. Thoughts, anyone?

 

[LovedForever]

Hi! Welcome to this forum and may God bless you on your journey!

As for your question, it is not ‘wrong’ to fantasize about your spouse! As long as your fantasy is not one where your motivation is simply to “use” him or her for your own pleasure. That constitues “lust” and is always sinful.
But to DESIRE your spouse - is a GOOD and holy thing! That is how God designed it! (Read “Song of Solomon” in the bible)

I would highly recommend you get a wonderful book that will explain this beautiful theology so well. It is called, “Good News About Sex & Marriage” by Christopher West. It is based on the “Theology of the Body” which is an explanation of the deep and beautiful theology behind why we were made, why we were made male and female - and how we not only complement each other but mirror the image of the Trinity during marital relations.
You will understand more fully why****** any deviation from sex within marriage is so disordered.
It is a wonderful book on the christian theology of sex and marriage! Nothing “new” - just a deeper understanding.

God Bless!

 

[siouxbhoney]

Thanks. I’ve read this book mentioned all over this site. I’ll go check it out!

 

[drafdog]

Read the Song of Songs and then ask yourself the question again.

Matthew

 

[CatholicMC]

Hi. I am completely ignorant about all things catholic, as my husband and I have just made the decision to start researching conversion. I’ve been hopping around this website checking out Q&A, and hit on something that really has me confused. Is it really sinful to fantisize sexually about your spouse? I love my husband, and he is the only one I think about in this sense. This doesn’t make any sense to me. Thoughts, anyone?

As long as you don’t objectify your spouse and or fantasize about illicit forms of intercourse you should be alright.