Fear and depression

[micciloi]

Hi Catholic Fam,

So I have been struggling with scrupulosity. I fear that God is not pleased with my profession. I am an accountant. This was my dream. But lately I am shaken with thoughts that my job is not noble and will never be.
Taxation is part of my work and this bothers me so much. Everytime I pray, I fear that God would not listen because I am sinful. I am so down right now. I just tell you this here because I have no one to talk about this with and that makes it even harder.

Thank you for listening.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Have you been diagnosed by a doctor with depression?
Or is this a self-diagnosis?
Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety and worthlessness need to be evaluated by a professional.

Taxation is not sinful.
Most jobs are pretty mundane, even the “noble” (ie life saving) professions are mostly tedium with periodic episodes of excitement (read: very scary).
If you don’t like your job, change it.

 

[micciloi]

Hi! Self diagnosis. Its just I fear offending Him to the point that I get frustrated and sad. You know, the feeling that you are all alone. That nobody wants to listen or none understands. I am not suicidal so I have no outlet to release my emotions.

 

[jzea1992]

You’re job isn’t noble? Um you have a better job then most people. Where I’m from it’s a great thing to work at Walmart or the grocery store. A priest once told me that God doesn’t care what our job is. Whether it’s working at AT&T or the gas station. Just be grateful you even have a job.

 

[micciloi]

I am grateful but there are instances that my moral is compromised because of my job.

 

[Convert3]

Do your job well and honestly and you will not fail in the eyes of Jesus. If someone tries to have you do something dishonest, it may be time to look for a different job.

 

[micciloi]

Yeah, looking for another job. The problem is I can’t help but to go to confession everytime I work. Thats the scrupulous part.

 

[tommy37]

Hi friend,

I don’t think you should feel badly about your profession at all. It’s funny, I would love to be an accountant. I always dreamed of having a professional job like that but I’ve never been able to attain that kind of job due to a series of personal issues when I was young and now physical limitations and psychological/neurological difficulties.

I don’t know why you feel bad about taxation. There’s nothing sinful about that. It’s part of our economic system and someone has to do that type of work. If you enjoy the work, there’s no reason to feel guilty about it. (I know, easier said than done.) Any profession can bring glory to God, including yours.

If you are dealing with scrupulosity and just general bewilderment with things, I would recommend two books. One is Understanding Scrupulosity by Fr. Santa and Scruples and Sainthood by Trent Beattie. I really like the second a lot. It addresses more than just scrupulosity. It’s really like a good introduction to the spiritual life, one that I have often returned to over the years. He addresses issues of decision making and a whole host of things that I think might really help you with the way you’re thinking. I’m actually reading it again right now.

Also, as another poster mentioned, I think practicing gratitude is essential in the spiritual life and in dealing with depression, or just life in general. I actually made a list of as many things as I could think of that I was thankful for and I review that list often. It helps to put things in perspective, especially when I consider the misery so many people around the world live in.

Hope you feel better soon!