Fear in Raising Kids in the Church?

[Walterross]

Hi everyone. I guess I’ll start my question with this. My goal in life is to find a wife, fall in love and have kids, and raise them in the church so they can become good people. My question comes as I see now in 2020, that we are drifting further and further away from God (not going to church, abortion, contraception, same-sex marriage) to name a few issues. I can only see these getting worse as time goes on. I’m still young, only 21 years old but I’m thinking about the future not only of myself and how difficult it has been to be a practicing catholic, but how much more difficult it will be for my children. I definitely don’t want to be a father who “shoves the faith down their throat”, I want them to choose it freely, however I’m afraid that they may not since the world has so much influence. I don’t want to be seen by my children as a “Jesus Freak”, not in a good way of course, who doesn’t let them live out of fear of sin. I just want them to be safe and for them to see Heaven. I know I shouldn’t be fearful and I should “have faith” in God but it’s hard with the state of the world as it is. I’m currently in college and I see how little the students think of God. I have struggled a lot with sin, and thankfully, due to God’s grace, kept striving to be holy, and not giving up on God. I’m just scared my kids may someday give up on Him. If it’s this hard now, how do we encourage our kids without seeming “not with the times” or “old fashioned” to the point of dismissal? I may be thinking too much about this but I was wondering if anyone else has had these thoughts. Any (name removed by moderator)ut is welcome.
Thanks.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Just make Catholicism a part of daily life and make it somewhere between neutral and fun most of the time, so it’s not always associated with “Thou shalt not” and rules.
It’s not hard to do.

As for whether the kids stay in the church or whether they spend a lot of time at college thinking about God, that’s up to them. At some point the parent has to let go and leave it in God’s hands. I would note that many people who “think about God” at college, or even in adult life, don’t advertise it to their peers, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the other students are actually thinking about him more than you think they are.

Also, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you’re not living in some special extra-difficult era. I have seen young people make these statements in every generation in my lifetime that they think their particular era is extra hard to live in. It’s not any more difficult than the last 10 eras and frankly I think the most difficult eras were the ones where a lot of young people were dying in major wars, not the ones where young people just struggled with ideology in a peacetime environment.

 

[Retsel]

My goal in life is to find a wife, fall in love and have kids, and raise them in the church so they can become good people.

Straight from our God.

I can only see these getting worse as time goes on. I’m still young, only 21 years old but I’m thinking about the future not only of myself and how difficult it has been to be a practicing catholic, but how much more difficult it will be for my children. I definitely don’t want to be a father who “shoves the faith down their throat”, I want them to choose it freely, however I’m afraid that they may not since the world has so much influence. I don’t want to be seen by my children as a “Jesus Freak”, not in a good way of course, who doesn’t let them live out of fear of sin.

Straight from the devil.

Start living in your own two shoes and find that girl who is waiting for you.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

I don’t want to be seen by my children as a “Jesus Freak”,

I’ve never viewed a Catholic like that. To me, it’s a Protestant phenomenon…”have you made Jesus your savior?” type people. IMO, Catholics don’t talk like that, or act like that. They just live their faith without a lot of talking and bible thumping.

It’s also never been my experience that Catholics focus on sin. I was always taught to focus on God’s love, charity to others, and focusing on my future (which teaches not to be caught up in the moment, or focused on materialism).

 

[Allegra]

It is highly likely that your kids will lose their faith at some point in their life. Most people do. However, if you live a good, honest example, it is also highly likely that they find their way back to it, or at the very least, meet most of the qualifications of a “good person” that you are hoping for. It is an urban legend that Christian parents frequently “shove religion down their children’s throat.” By the time most of the people who claim this reach adulthood, they realize that insisting their children spend an hour a week in Mass is hardly having them kneel on rice and beating them as they recite Catechism. And they often note that learning to be quiet and calm for an hour for the purpose of solemnity is hardly a wasted life skill, and that’s just if they end up ultimately leaving the faith. The vast majority of Christian values are actually shared by the secular world. Honesty. Courage. Justice. etc. Also, no kid ever complained of witnessing an example of an excellent marriage and family life. And whatever you do, you will seem “not with the times” to your kids.

 

[vz71]

My question comes as I see now in 2020, that we are drifting further and further away from God (not going to church, abortion, contraception, same-sex marriage) to name a few issues. I can only see these getting worse as time goes on.

It has been much worse.

The conditions of the world should not have a bearing upon your decision to live for God.
And that example will lead your children in the same way.

 

[Mrchatsworth]

I’m raising my little Jesus freaks in the Church. It’s exciting and fun to combat the world with strong children on fire for Christ. My goal is to raise saints.

 

[CoffeeCatholic]

You might be jumping the gun a little since you haven’t got a girlfriend/fiancee’ yet and children are really just a ‘someday’ thing at this point. Probably not worrying about it as much as you are right now. I’m not dismissing your worries… I’m just suggesting that it’s probably not something to lose sleep over yet.

 

[Sheep4sale]

It all starts with you. Junk in, junk out. You are the leader so act like it. What they hear you say and watch you do they will naturally say and do. Remember, whatever is down in the well comes up in the bucket. So turn off the trash that’s on the typical tv and radio and keep it clean.

You are called to be Holy!