I just can’t make you people happy. Some want the alcohol and some just headache medication, so as a compromise, she will be using alcohol and prescription medication.
Seriously, though, thanks for all the (name removed by moderator)ut. Glad to see something I wrote so quickly turned out relatively well (though it does sound a bit like an infomercial at points, in my opinion). Anyway, I gave it to my brother’s fiance to read the other day. They are living together and she’s offered my wife free birth control (which we don’t use, of course) from the doctor’s office where she works. I’m her RCIA sponsor, so I told her to read the piece and highlight the things that stuck out. We talked on the phone last night and “nothing really stuck out”, she told me. Sigh. Pray for her and me, it will be an uphill battle, but I’ve talked with my best friend, who is the priest they will be working with, and we’re working on her together. My next conversation with her will be about the living together. She respects my opinion, but doesn’t have the connection with Christ yet to allow him to transform her lifestyle or take to heart his teachings.
I think you hit the nail on the head, and for people in their early twenties, I don’t think you should change a thing. The margarita line is obviously sarcastic, and people of that age (I’m 23) will be able to tell that you’re not sending mixed or hidden messages. Although for high schoolers, you may want to change it, mainly to keep in the parent’s good books. You are using it to illustrate that the lady is tired and frazzled, not that alcohol will solve all your problems. Good job!