Feeling abandoned

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Didi

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I know we are to enter into Christ’s sufferings, especially during Lent, but I am at a point where I don’t think I can take it anymore and I feel abandoned by God.

Our family went through a bankruptcy last fall and we are still struggling financially. I have ongoing health problems and am unable to work, can’t qualify for disability because they don’t recognize naturopathic testimony, and my poor husband is working so hard and not making much money, yet it is “too much” to qualify for aid.

For the first time in over 10 years of financial struggle and almost 6 years of poor health, I just feel ready to give up. I really just want out of this life and it scares me.

I need to hear from those who have gone through similar times and made it through. I need to hear some stories of hope because I don’t have any right now.
 
I’m so sorry for your difficulties.

Have you read Amazing Grace for Those who Suffer? I think it would help you.

God Bless You.**
 
Didi, Offer your sufferings to Christ. My depression and health have hampered me to the point you are at right now. Know that the Lord left us a helper that will intercede in Spirit. Ask Him for this help. In Christ, Tim
 
We also went through bankruptsy last fall. I have chronic medical conditions (Crohn’s disease and heart defects which have progessed to the point of heart failure.) In November my Crohn’s had a bad flare up and I was off of work for 2 months. Then my husband got laid off so I went back to work. They have accomadated me by letting me sit on a stool instead of standing all day.

Through the help of a friend my husband recently started a new job with even better pay and benefits then his last one. He came down with a horrible case of the flu this weekend and will have to be off work all this week-doctors orders. We still struggle financially but we get by one day at a time. Until my hubby’s 90 days are in we still have to pay a $900 cobra payment to keep our health insurance which is an absolute must in my case.

I have had bad days when the stress has gotten to me but I look at what I do have instead of what I don’t which helps me stay focused. We live very modestly a double wide mobil home in a good area, 2 old cars, I shop at thrift store and clearance sales if we really need something. But my marriage is strong which it has not always been and depite all my health difficulties we have been blessed with a beautiful healthy daughter.

My diagnoses is I will need a heart transplant in the next few years, and those are successful about 50% of time-giving the average person 5 more years of life. I’m 34 and my daughter is 10. This has changed everything for us. God has given us a great blessing though this struggle. We have learned to detach ourselves from the things that the secular world regards as signs of success.

I watch my hubby when he sleeps sometime and I think how blessed I am to have him. I am thankful that God blessed us with a healthy baby and a safe pregnancy even though I can no longer have more children. I have life long dear friends. These are the things that matter.

Step outside on a warm spring day and smell the air and savor it there are many who are so caught up in worldly success that they never notice it. God is always with you and he will see you through this.
God Bless, I am praying for you.
 
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Didi, Offer your sufferings to Christ. My depression and health have hampered me to the point you are at right now. Know that the Lord left us a helper that will intercede in Spirit. Ask Him for this help. In Christ, Tim
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Tim, I did find your thread that is similar to mine. It helps to be in contact with others who are going through similar difficulties.

What I find difficult is that I am very involved with our parish and I’m also sponsoring someone in RCIA this year; and sometimes it’s hard for me to stay positive when I feel like I’m in such a dry spell. I usually just try to smile and say everything’s OK, but then I sometimes feel like a hypocrite…
 
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rayne89:
But my marriage is strong which it has not always been and depite all my health difficulties we have been blessed with a beautiful healthy daughter.

My diagnoses is I will need a heart transplant in the next few years, and those are successful about 50% of time-giving the average person 5 more years of life. I’m 34 and my daughter is 10.

God Bless, I am praying for you.
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Thanks, rayne89. You have some really difficult challenges.

How does your daughter deal with all of this? Sometimes that’s the hardest part of this all. We have a teenage daughter and an 11 year old son. My husband is a wonderful man, but this stress is really getting to him and he is sometimes distant with the kids. Whenever any issue dealing with money surfaces, the tension quickly rises in our household.

We also live very modestly, and we’re not asking to be rich; just enough to pay our mortgage, utilities and food.

I’m just weary to the bone.
 
Didi, I’m new to my parish and in the middle of a downpour. Prayer has helped me alot. Sometimes I think it was my childrens prayers that are answered. But keep reaching out for help, humbley talk to who you are sponsering maybe, but keep trying to grow in the Lord. Maybe your suffering is also an example to who you are sponsering, use it to teach them. Tell them about the Cross and its weight, maybe they can help you carry yours. God might be waiting for you to do something, presevere, hope, pray, reach out as you are. We are with you in Christ, Prayers out , Tim
 
P.S. I had to reach out for help for depression and spent the last few days in a psych ward. There were some people there that needed The Lord and He supplied the Word. ;)It is all for Gods glory despite what we have to endure. God Bless , Tim
 
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Didi:
I have ongoing health problems and am unable to work, can’t qualify for disability because they don’t recognize naturopathic testimony…

For the first time in over 10 years of financial struggle and almost 6 years of poor health, I just feel ready to give up. I really just want out of this life and it scares me.

I need to hear from those who have gone through similar times and made it through. I need to hear some stories of hope because I don’t have any right now.
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Didi, would there be a problem with going to the regular doctor? Might the Lord offer you some help there?

I too have been in the situation where money was very very tight. I bit the bullet and kept the faith and lo and behold suddenly we were offered health insurance at a fraction of the cost. But it didn’t happen right away. I went out on a limb, trusting. Now I KNOW you Trust God. Your tag says a lot.

Don’t do yourself in. But you may have to reach out for help in places you wouldn’t normally look. No use in saying everything is fine when it isn’t. Be not afraid…of telling others of your struggle.
They may have the key to the puzzle.

It could be like that fellow on the roof of his house during the flood. A person with a boat came by, a person with a helicopter etc. But he told everyone God would help him. When he died in the flood, he asked God why He didn’t help and God told him," I sent you that person in the boat, the helicopter…"
You get the idea, right?

I’ll pray for you too!!
 
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Didi:
Thanks, rayne89. You have some really difficult challenges.

How does your daughter deal with all of this? Sometimes that’s the hardest part of this all. We have a teenage daughter and an 11 year old son. My husband is a wonderful man, but this stress is really getting to him and he is sometimes distant with the kids. Whenever any issue dealing with money surfaces, the tension quickly rises in our household.

We also live very modestly, and we’re not asking to be rich; just enough to pay our mortgage, utilities and food.

I’m just weary to the bone.
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Our daughter does amazingly well. She’s homeschooled so alot of the material things like “I want it, all the other kids have one” doesn’t come into play for the most part. When hubby was laid off she was really good about the fact that we really had to tighten our belts. But I really try to stay positive. I always tell her life has ups and downs and it won’t always be this way, and also I really try to stress that we truly have more then others and should be thankful. The health aspect is stressful for her when I’ve had to be hospitalized but I have family and friends that have cared for and I think she’s some what accustomed to because it’s a normal part of our lives.
For a long time my husband internalized the financial stress and was also with drawn at times but we’ve both come to a place when we accepted we can only do what we can do; as long as we keep a roof over our head and food on the table we’re doing ok. If a bill has to be late then it has to be late. My husband is very aware then he could lose me because of heart problems and when your faced with that an over due bill suddenly doesn’t mean much in the scheme of things.
 
Dear Didi,

I will place you in my prayer intentions journal, and also wondering could you talk to your pastor? If you have been involved in your parish, do you have any programs there that could maybe help with utilities or food or something? I had something similar happen, I was about 29, recently engaged. I was embarrassed and felt so alone and stressed out. I thought, “What is this man I’m engaged to going to think?” But I trusted God, I was honest and reached out for help. It all worked out. God does come through. I think it’s great that you are involved in RCIA, it helped me a lot. I think the other gentleman that posted hit the mark too. Let your sponsoree see and hear your struggles. It may be a huge testimony to your trusting God and God’s faithfulness when he answers your prayers. Keep us posted. God Bless You!
 
Didi,

Jesus loves the sick and the poor the most. St Paul said “When we are weak, we are strong”. This is because when we are weak, we cannot depend on our own strengths anymore, thus God will become our only hope. And hope will not fail in Jesus.

I have never been in such difficult situation, but I usually listen to songs of praises to God especially when my situation is not quite “bright” when I cannot pray anymore, those songs about “God’s love, His faithfulnes toward us, His dominion over His enemies (Your sickness is God’s enemy, because He wants you to be healthy)”. I find these songs can bring “a spark of light” to my mind in such situations. May be listening to songs of praises can help you too, to-- at least-- sooth your feelings and your family feelings, and to always remember God in your suffering, to insist in His joy (the one that “the world cannot give”) in your suffering.

I’ll have you in my prayers.

God bless you and your family.
 
Thanks so much to everyone for your kind words, encouragement and prayers. It really means a lot.
 
My heart and prayers go out to you in this difficult time, Didi. While I can’t speak to your specific troubles from personal experience, might I suggest the you may find some comfort in the words of Pope John Paul II:

Salvifici Doloris (On the Christian Meaning of Human Suffering)
 
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