Feeling Hesitant to Teach Catechism at Church

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sonoftherosary

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I have just begun volunteering to be a teacher’s assistant at my local parish. We had a first general meeting today of all the volunteers and catechists, where we were discussing things that we can do to help improve our teaching program for first communion students and confirmation students. Some of the topics included a new curriculum, a new safety education course, and the need to get more parents involved in their child’s religious education.

I decided to say that, because we have so many teenage confirmation students, we need to really focus on the topic of chastity and teach our teenagers about the Catholic Church’s teachings on controversial topics such as homosexuality, birth control, purity. I said that many teenagers leave the Church because of they really don’t understand what we as Catholics believe about sexuality. I mentioned Pope John Paul’s theology of the body as a way to combat the messages that television and pop culture teaches young people about sex.

When I was talking, the nun who was in charge of running the first communion and confirmation, she started to become visibly angry/uncomfortable and motioned me to stop. Then after the meeting she pulled me aside, and asked me why I wanted to volunteer in catechism, I explained my love for the Eucharist and educating young people about their faith, and the look on her face was discomfort. Then she very politely told me that there are times that I need to be quiet and not talk?!? Then she asked me why I mentioned sex during the general meeting, and I told her that I wanted to teach young people about chastity and purity. Then she asked me, “Do you know that you will be hated if you say these things? Are you willing to be hated?” I was shocked when she asked me, but I said yes.

In general, her reaction was like she didn’t support what I was saying. I was shocked that the people in the general meeting were like chuckling when I was talking about chastity.

This whole incident just made me NOT want to volunteer anymore. The nun told me to come visit her again next week so that she could give me further instructions on becoming a teacher’s assistant for a sunday confirmation class. However, I really feel discouraged and disappointed that she looked at me so weirdly when I spoke about chastity. I have seen Steubenville conferences where the youth leaders speak about purity and self-respect, and I really admire them. But I just feel out of place after this general meeting.

What should I do? Should I just let this go, and concentrate on my own school work?

I’m tired. Please pray for me.
 
In all probability, the reason the people chuckled during your presentation is that they were embarrassed. The response of the Nun indicates that being human she has personal sexual hang ups.
I think that before you quit, you should make an appointment with your Pastor and discuss the matter.
 
I am praying for you, and for your parish community.

I think you should speak with the pastor (or perhaps another priest) about your concerns and your expectations for the catechism program in your parish. That will at least get you a second opinion.

You mentioned people chuckling, which probably means they too were uncomfortable with what you were saying, or perhaps they were merely reacting to the nun’s visible discomfort. It is not clear whether the parish community feel the same way as the nun on this issue, but that is a question you may want to investigate, discreetly.

The main question is how the parents feel about it, and whether they would support chastity education for their children. Other parish members may have opinions, but the parents have the biggest stake in it.

If many parents are squeamish, anxious, or uncomfortable with the thought of their children being taught about chastity, etc., it may be difficult for you to change the curriculum in the near future, but if that is the case, I urge you to take the long view. Get involved in teaching catechism. Don’t push hard, but look for opportunities to make things better, little by little.

For example, there may come a time when they are looking for a new teen catechism workbook. You could recommend one which deals adequately with chastity, sexuality, and related issues. Or maybe a nearby parish will set up a short program (workshop) for teens on chastity and related issues, and would be willing to collaborate with your parish, or advise your parish on setting up your own similar program.

I haven’t gotten involved at the teen level at my parish, at least not yet, so I can’t give you a lot of specific advice, but I’m thinking that once you get involved at some level, you can find out where change is possible and work to make things better.

Good luck! Don’t give up! and Pray!
 
Because of the unusual reaction from the nun, I wonder whether the chuckling was along the lines of “Yeah - good luck with that one!”.

Does this nun run the programme? If she does and has a hang-up about this, then others may have tried and failed to address this, thus the “yeah, right” chuckling?

I would certainly have a word with the priest before making any decision to stay or go, especially as (me personally) I would be at odds with a nun who questioned whether or not one wanted to be “hated” for teaching the catechism correctly.

What a strange thing for the nun to ask - are you ready to be hated? As Catholics, following the lead of Our Lord, we should all be ready to be hated, her included…

“If the world hates you, you must realise that it hated me before it hated you. If you belonged to the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you do not belong to the world, because my choice of you has drawn you out of the world, that is why the world hates you.”
 
sonoftherosary said:
Then she asked me, “Do you know that you will be hated if you say these things? Are you willing to be hated?” I was shocked when she asked me, but I said yes.
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:clapping::clapping::clapping:

I’m not getting it what’s wrong with it either, I think it’s rather important to do. I’d tell you to go against what she wants, and do you believe it’s best to keep the kids knowledgeable of what the Church talks about, and let them speak in open debate in such a controversial matter.

Don’t let them be clouded in ignorance throughout Cathechism, because we all know that’s what usually happens. Teach them as much as you know about Christ, and teach them consistently with theology and not analogy. 👍

Will grant your wish, I’m going to pray for you for good luck. Don’t let the nun get the best of you, insist in teaching what you, as an adult, felt that you needed when you were a kid and learning about Christ. If someone reallystarts to hate you, just bring to your mind Jesus’s famous words…
“If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first.” John 15:18
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Wow, you know what came to my mind when I read the “Do you know you will be hated” comment? The passage in Scripture when Jesus is telling the Apostles that he must suffer and die, and Peter starts to protest. And we know what Our Lord said to him! :eek: “Get thee behind me, Satan!”

In other places, Jesus points out that if the world hated Him, it will likewise hate us. That’s no reason not to do what He sent his disciples out into the world to do. You hang in there and pray - you are the one on the right track. It’s a tough time in this world to stick to what’s right and it’s sad that Catholics are in opposition to one another about all this 😦 but don’t lose courage. Pray hard! God bless you!
 
Just as the social science research is coming in that prove that the Catholic way is right and leads to the greatest human happiness and well-being! Scripture and social science findings can be presented together to encourage the young people to pursue the challenging path of holiness.

The nun’s desire to stay silent on these issues equals a decision to yield to the culture that is definitely teaching its contrary message to the young people. She does not have children and therefore does not share the same anxiety that parents have for their kids in today’s p0rnified culture.
 
Regardless of what anyone says or how anyone reacts to you, stick it out for one year. If you aren’t moved to participate beyond that first year, tell your pastor and/or DRE why.
 
I don’t know what to do anymore, and I am just tired. I don’t want to have to teach catechism, and go there every week, knowing that the nun doesn’t like me. When she said, “There are times when we should speak and times that we should not share our ideas.” - she was basically telling me to shut up. I don’t want to be too sensitive or take offense too soon, but what else does that mean?

The education quality in catechism classes are so low … why are things like this?
 
Dear Sonoftherosary,
I looked up another thread of yours:
Catholic Answers Forums - Feeling Overwhelmed and Frustrated
and I think perhaps, just perhaps, you are jumping in a little too fast, and it might not be a bad idea to postpone teaching Catechism. There is no great hurry.

It is wonderful that you have taken an interest in reading the Bible and the Catechism. Your first priority at this time should be to build your own faith. In addition to independent reading, see if your parish has workshops or study groups on Catholicism. For example, my parish has a program called “Why Catholic?” that is firmly based on the Catechism and Scripture. Your parish may offer other activities, groups, or workshops.

I admire your enthusiasm for the faith and your desire to share it by teaching Catechism. I can also tell you that teaching Catechism helps me to learn and appreciate it better. Bear in mind, you don’t have to “do it all” this year. Be patient. Keep up with your college studies. God willing, you’ll have plenty of time and energy to teach later on.

Also don’t feel as though you have to single-handedly save the religious education program from the grumpy nun and chuckling parishioners. It looks to be an uphill battle, and, as I wrote before, your best strategy might be to quietly infiltrate the “establishment” and, when opportunities present themselves, work toward your vision incrementally.

Pray and be hopeful, since “with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
 
Now that I read this thread again, something else strikes me. The nun uses the word “hated.” It really sounds like more her issue or perception of hers than a given fact.

With teenagers, it’s more realistic to predict that some of the kids might argue or debate with you - and if they do, so what? Have good calm apologetics responses including personal accounts by young people who have a positive experience with chastity to present to them. You may be able to transform a debate into a learning experience.

Another possibility is you may be dismissed, ignored, blown off; well, that happens unfortunately, and you may not even know about it because it might just be kids quietly rolling their eyes when you can’t see. But you may have planted a seed in someone’s mind that will sprout and bloom later.

Finally, perhaps you will be able to reach someone with your message who will take it to heart right away.

To me those are not bad enough odds to throw in the towel before even starting.
 
Beryllos said:
Dear Sonoftherosary,
I looked up another thread of yours:
Catholic Answers Forums - Feeling Overwhelmed and Frustrated
and I think perhaps, just perhaps, you are jumping in a little too fast, and it might not be a bad idea to postpone teaching Catechism. There is no great hurry.

It is wonderful that you have taken an interest in reading the Bible and the Catechism. Your first priority at this time should be to build your own faith. In addition to independent reading, see if your parish has workshops or study groups on Catholicism. For example, my parish has a program called “Why Catholic?” that is firmly based on the Catechism and Scripture. Your parish may offer other activities, groups, or workshops.

I admire your enthusiasm for the faith and your desire to share it by teaching Catechism. I can also tell you that teaching Catechism helps me to learn and appreciate it better. Bear in mind, you don’t have to “do it all” this year. Be patient. Keep up with your college studies. God willing, you’ll have plenty of time and energy to teach later on.

Also don’t feel as though you have to single-handedly save the religious education program from the grumpy nun and chuckling parishioners. It looks to be an uphill battle, and, as I wrote before, your best strategy might be to quietly infiltrate the “establishment” and, when opportunities present themselves, work toward your vision incrementally.

Pray and be hopeful, since “with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
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Beryllos - thank you for responding to me. I really don’t feel up to do this anymore. I’m just tired from school and everything. 😦 I really don’t think that I will do this anymore.
 
Son-

I’m not sure this is the same thing, but last year was my first year teaching Catechism and Confirmation prep for 8th graders. I had my share of “tips” from some of the other teachers and the DRE as to “do this” and “don’t do that.” In the end I followed some of their suggestions, but not others. I prayed and prepared a lot and always had scripture and catechism as my toolbox. It was a rewarding experience for my students-- and me too!

It took me about five classes with my students to show them I could be trusted, and for them to be ready for things like sex/chastity. Other teachers were amazed with what we covered, but I just responded that I was trusting in the Holy Spirit. I wanted to make sure that the students were treated like young adults since they were capable of acting like it, and for the most part, it went very well. We laid the foundation with solid morality and everything was very orthodox “by the book” and it can be done!

So if you are just looking for encouragement, go and fight and help those kids as best you can, knowing the Holy Spirit will work through you. And if you just can’t do it, think and pray about it for next year.
 
Maybe you could start by volunteering with the Teen or youth ministry and be part of a team, that way you can observe the leaders and the teens and see what works and what doesn’t. You can also find out if the leaders are teaching the truth and whether they are willing to mentor you as you grow in your role.
 
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