Feeling indifferent and cold

[hu324b]

I grow tired of caring or pretending to care when I’m just a prideful, depraved person.

I can control my actions and pray to resist sin. Thoughts of pride and contempt — those I cannot control or will away.

By the time I realize it, it’s impossible to get out, and I’m stuck.

I don’t want thoughts of judgment, pride, envy, etc. Why do they persist?

Why does God allow it when He doesn’t like it, I don’t like having them?

I lose all desire for prayer because pride is the greatest of sin and where there is pride God is not present, so why would I even try to pray when no one’s going to listen?

At least with other sins I have committed, I had hope to amend my life. How can I have hope for something I cannot control?

Maybe it’s a tactic of the enemy to get me to doubt God and stop praying.

But why would it care? Not like I’m a holy person.

My attempts at the Christian life just feels like pretense and a facade.

I have a suggestion for you - look for volunteer work - it has a way of allowing you to forget yourself at least for a while - and it teaches you that there are people where you can really make a difference in their lives instead of thinking about yourself - the answer to your problem is you need to escape your own selfcenterness and that can only be done by focusing on others - your goal should be to keep your mind off yourself and put the focus on others.I have done volunteer work and the greatest thing about it and my reward for doing it is I can forget myself when I am doing it - its all about them and nothing about me and to add to that I give it all up to God and that only by his grace am I able to do it - so it is Gods work not mine. I am a truly selfish person I am not capable of this only by the grace of God have I been able to do it. I chose the hardest one that I could find that I did not want to do and became a hospice palliative care volunteer I can say God brought me to amazing places and filled my heart with compassion for each and every person I met - God changed me in doing his work. Everything else in my life is garbage and by my hand.

 

[HelenRose]

I have a suggestion for you - look for volunteer work - it has a way of allowing you to forget yourself at least for a while - and it teaches you that there are people where you can really make a difference in their lives instead of thinking about yourself - the answer to your problem is you need to escape your own selfcenterness and that can only be done by focusing on others - your goal should be to keep your mind off yourself and put the focus on others.I have done volunteer work and the greatest thing about it and my reward for doing it is I can forget myself when I am doing it - its all about them and nothing about me and to add to that I give it all up to God and that only by his grace am I able to do it - so it is Gods work not mine. I am a truly selfish person I am not capable of this only by the grace of God have I been able to do it. I chose the hardest one that I could find that I did not want to do and became a hospice palliative care volunteer I can say God brought me to amazing places and filled my heart with compassion for each and every person I met - God changed me in doing his work. Everything else in my life is garbage and by my hand.