A
Allegra
Guest
So, our third baby was born a week ago at only 33 weeks, due to pre-eclampsia. Because of my condition, I was not able to go to the NICU with my baby for two days. I had to be on an IV medication that prevented me from going into seizures and I was not allowed to stand or walk while I was on it. For that reason, the only way I could see my baby was when the nurse was able to take me down personally in a wheelchair and only for as long as she was able to stay there with me. My husband was down there with her and continuously texting me about her condition and what the NICU staff was saying about her, but you can imagine this was very stressful. Anyway, at the moment the nurse was finally wheeling me down the hall to see my baby for the first time, the chaplain came up and asked me if I wanted to receive the Eucharist. I told her that I did, but that I wanted to go down to see my baby first. I was concerned that I would have less time with her because I didn’t know how long the nurse would be able to stay down there with me. The chaplain said she would try to find me again, but she didn’t come back and I haven’t seen her since. I didn’t really think of it again until this morning when I went down to the hospital chapel for Mass and saw the sisters there and then I remembered. I felt really bad, like I had turned Jesus away and it makes it worse that I really feel incredibly grateful that my baby was born safely and seems to be recovering well and also that I didn’t die of eclampsia. Anyway, I don’t really know what to do about it, since I can’t go back and change the past. I don’t even feel like I can properly confess it, since it’s probably not technically a sin. I’ve been praying about it but I don’t really feel any better. I guess the chaplain stopped looking for me since I’m not technically a patient anymore. Maybe I would feel better if I called and asked her to come back, even though that 's kind of silly, since I received at Mass today.
