Feeling lonely at church

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anon64704623

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Many people will arrive at church right as the music starts, find a seat, sing music that touches an array of emotions, listen to an interesting sermon, and leave having never really spoken to anyone. Sermon and songs will conspire to give the worshippers an experience of having connected with Christ even while they ignore the very real members of Christ’s body sitting right next to them. How many of you feel that way?
 
i agree with you. they probably have had bad experiences interacting with others.
 
On the Liturgy & Sacraments forum, a recurring topic of discussion is the Pax or sign of peace, with a majority of posters complaining about it and wanting it abolished. For many Catholics here at CAF, interaction with their fellow-worshipers is a danger to be avoided, it seems.
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The Sign of Peace continues to bring division Liturgy and Sacraments
I’m struck by “how little” the sign of peace has become. The Sign of Peace is optional and it should be phased out. If we’re honest, we have to conclude that it’s just not worked out well; it ends up being minimally a distraction, and more likely a source of division during the Mass. Here are some example points that will likely resonate with most people. For those with families it becomes nice but largely an “m*n problem” as each of the family members greet every other family members…for la…
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OCD and the Sign of Peace Liturgy and Sacraments
Hello. I have OCD. In Ireland, the sign of peace at Mass is the handshake. This is a major problem for me and I don’t know how to avoid it.
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Not to mention the numerous threads on people not feeling welcomed at mass.
 
Not everyone wants to interact with the person sitting next to them. They want to pray and spend their time there in silence before mass begins or participate during mass.

But if, as you state, that others are ignoring the people next to them, maybe you should be the one reaching out to them.
 
Many people complain if other people greet each other before Mass because they consider it disrespectful. They do not want greeting after Mass because some individuals want to pray. It does not leave any time for those who need human interaction.
 
When I came back to the church, I was attending daily mass and not really interacting with anyone. My mother had melanoma and was going through a series of operations and treatments. I just did not have the energy, or really the desire, to interact. I wanted to be be by myself. I was never outright rude to anyone - if anyone spoke to me, I responded. But, I mainly just wanted to be alone with my thoughts and my prayers.
 
I used to think that way, so now i make it a point to approach at least 1 or 2 people i dont know after Mass, even on the walk to the parking lot and simply say good morning, tell my name, and wish them a happy week…some have become good friends, but even those who dont, recognize me and greet me when they see me again.

Sometimes we have to reach out rather tham wait to be touched!

Pax et bonum!
 
Could be the case of people feeling socially anxious which gives rise the lack of interaction. I myself can be a bit like this on occasion it isn’t for the want of being ignorant or uncharitable towards fellow members on the congregation it is just a case of being not great socially at times. For me anyways.

(Edited due to spelling mistake)
 
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One thing I appreciated about Catholics is that they left me alone when I first started showing up for daily mass. I’m not a lonely person and I had some things to work through regarding my calling to be Catholic, so I liked the separation and the peace. It wasn’t until I had been going to daily mass for a couple of weeks that a parishioner finally reached out to me and said he was praying for whatever I was praying for, I looked so earnest.

That said, community is an inevitable by-product of conversion, and I discovered that my parish is a very friendly parish. The down side is that they like to talk in church before mass which is one reason why wife and I have searched out quieter parishes.

Personally, I believe we need to make the effort to be a front porch society. It’s because we don’t reach out to our neighbors in everyday life that they come to mass feeling the need to connect with another person.
 
anon64704623 said:
Many people will arrive at church right as the music starts, find a seat, sing music that touches an array of emotions, listen to an interesting sermon, and leave having never really spoken to anyone. Sermon and songs will conspire to give the worshippers an experience of having connected with Christ even while they ignore the very real members of Christ’s body sitting right next to them. How many of you feel that way?
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That’s why we have to shake hands at mass when we say peace be with you…
 
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anon64704623 said:
Many people will arrive at church right as the music starts, find a seat, sing music that touches an array of emotions, listen to an interesting sermon, and leave having never really spoken to anyone. Sermon and songs will conspire to give the worshippers an experience of having connected with Christ even while they ignore the very real members of Christ’s body sitting right next to them. How many of you feel that way?
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Sounds about right!
 
We are at Holy Mass to please God not to make friends.

If people would stop treating the Holy Mass as a social club and focus on prayer we all could attain many Graces
 
We are the body of Christ. We must feel like a family, like a full body. Not a body with separate parts.
 
Catholics are the Body of Christ by spreading the Gospel out in the world not by being concerned with friendship at Holy Mass
 
We’ve had this thread topic about 3 dozen times in just the past year.

I go to church to see Jesus Christ, not to have the social hour, so I don’t feel the least bit ignored. Jesus certainly isn’t ignoring me.

People at Mass are generally friendly enough that they will say “hi”, “nice weather”, hold the door for me, sometimes they want to give me a flyer for some event and a couple of churches have greeters. That’s actually way more contact than I expect or sometimes even want at a church service.

My personal opinion is that people shouldn’t go to church looking for social opportunities. I know from the 3 dozen past threads that some people agree with me on that and some people don’t.
 
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Crusader30 said:
We are at Holy Mass to please God not to make friends.

If people would stop treating the Holy Mass as a social club and focus on prayer we all could attain many Graces
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You and I don’t agree that often, but this is one topic on which we are 100 percent in agreement.

Treating the church service as the social hour reminds me of a lot of Protestants I’ve known who are at church basically to hang out with their friends, have a good time and advertise the fact that they attended church. It’s a totally different mindset from how I was raised.
 
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