Feeling odd praying for my grandfather's soul

[victrolatim]

My maternal grandfather passed away a year before I was born, thus I never knew him other than through pictures and stories. He served in World War 2 and when he returned self medicated with alcohol (as I’ve found out many did). Due to this he was emotionally and psychologically abusive to his wife and kids. I’ve heard many stories about him, mostly about how bad of a husband he was and along the same vein of “he was a wonderful person when he wasn’t drinking, but that wasn’t often”. Now that my grandmother has passed I go to the cemetery more often and I see him there. I always say a prayer for the man I never knew. I feel awkward though given all the bad stories I hear. I know though that I should pray for him. I need some encouragement here. Thank you.

 

[aroosi]

It feels odd to pray for somebody that is part of your family but you never met him and was a man with issues. Be your prayer merciful, we don’t know how we would have reacted if we endured the same trauma he encountered during war.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I never met my paternal grandfather. He died before my parents ever met. He gambled away the family’s money, was in the KKK and didn’t like Catholics. I have one picture of him holding my dad when my dad was like 5. My dad did not like his father because he was very close to his mother and apparently saw her struggling to feed the family when the dad came home with no paycheck. My dad almost never even mentioned his father. I sometimes wonder if Dad converted to Catholicism and married my mom just to spite his late father. Nevertheless, the man is my grandfather, he wasn’t totally irresponsible (he had a job, family had their own house) and God loves him. I pray for him and hope to meet him in Heaven.

 

[QwertyGirl]

Don’t feel required to pray for him if it causes you distress. When I visit a cemetary, I love to read the headstones, and I will randomly say a prayer for this one or that one. I don’t think I am that unusual, so I think you could assume other people are praying for your grandfather in the same way. I love to say a prayer for random souls that I don’t know. I guess it is like doing a random act of kindness.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Well, you can look at it this way—that such a wounded person especially needs prayers.

The Fatima prayer intercedes for “those most in need of Thy mercy “

 

[Mary888]

See him as a fallen child of God, not as the evil doer who is immaterial and is the one misguided your grandpa.
Plus the soul is from God, so the soul is always good. It is not his own soul who told your grandpa bad ideas but the enemy. Your grandpa’s soul was visible when he was sober and a nice person like you were told.

 

[Trilor]

God is outside of Time and so can apply your prayers to his situation. What I do with one person on my prayer list is that I pray that in his dying moments he would have been given the grace to repent and that he took it.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

One more thing to remember: assuming he was your biological grandparent, part of him is living on in you.

Assuming you are a good person, or are trying to be a good person, then your grandfather’s life produced some good. It wasn’t all one big long bad waste.