S
Serap
Guest
Well, my husband had a huge argument with his sister October, 2012. We all own a house together (duplex) and I have 2 small children and my SIL has a daughter (my God Daughter). At the time of the argument, my niece was 11 months old and we were very close. She’s beautiful and I love her. A week after the argument in Oct/2012, I went downstairs to get my daughter and my beautiful niece came crawling to me to say hello. My SIL came up to her, picked her up and took her away from me without saying a word. I cried my eyes out and now I no longer have any contact with my niece. My SIL has a very mean streak in her and I did nothing to her. We were getting along great until my husband had a fight with her.
Back in 2012, we had been talking about sharing my caregiver. We were going to split everything by a 1/3 for each child. We were going to submit our own hours for taxes and I was going to pay 2/3 for my 2. This was not a great arrangement for me either b/c in September 2013, my 2 would be in school full-time, but I wanted to help my SIL as she takes care of my MIL (stroke survivor) also.
I hadn’t heard anything from my SIL for 3.5 months and I assumed that the caregiver sharing deal was dead. Then last week, my SIL emailed me last week out of the blue in a very disrespectful tone offering to pay me less than 1/3 in cash and she would slip the money under the door or give it to my caregiver to give to me. I emailed her back hopeful to make it work and asked her if she could at least pay me electronically and pay me weekly instead of monthly (so it would be a bit more money). She emailed me back refusing to make an electronic payment and refusing to pay weekly. She again re-iterated that she would give the money to be by putting cash in an envelope under my door or by giving it to my caregiver. Then she told me that she also wanted 1/2 the care to be at her house (my son would have hated this b/c my SIL has a tendency to yell at him and give preference to her own daughter). My SIL would have been there also b/c she works from home.
I bailed right away. When she asked me why, I was so hurt and angry that all I could muster was that it wasn’t going to work out the way she wanted it and I didn’t want my son at her house b/c it wouldn’t be a good environement for him. My SIL would be working in the living room while my kids are running around. I could just imagine the verbal abuse my son would have to endure! My SIL thinks nothing of telling my son off. My son doesn’t like his aunt very much and never wants to go down there.
My SIL hung up on me and then 2 minutes later she called me, but I wouldn’t answer the phone b/c I knew she was going to yell at me. She did not leave a voice mail or an email.
Well, after my SIL hung up on me she then unfriended me on Facebook.
I know I made the right decision, but it breaks my heart so much! I miss my God Daughter and I am finally accepting that I will never have a relationship with my SIL. She is just not a nice person. She uses guilt, manipulation and spite to get what she wants. I have to let her go b/c it’s healthy for me.
I’m just a little bit broken right now
Back in 2012, we had been talking about sharing my caregiver. We were going to split everything by a 1/3 for each child. We were going to submit our own hours for taxes and I was going to pay 2/3 for my 2. This was not a great arrangement for me either b/c in September 2013, my 2 would be in school full-time, but I wanted to help my SIL as she takes care of my MIL (stroke survivor) also.
I hadn’t heard anything from my SIL for 3.5 months and I assumed that the caregiver sharing deal was dead. Then last week, my SIL emailed me last week out of the blue in a very disrespectful tone offering to pay me less than 1/3 in cash and she would slip the money under the door or give it to my caregiver to give to me. I emailed her back hopeful to make it work and asked her if she could at least pay me electronically and pay me weekly instead of monthly (so it would be a bit more money). She emailed me back refusing to make an electronic payment and refusing to pay weekly. She again re-iterated that she would give the money to be by putting cash in an envelope under my door or by giving it to my caregiver. Then she told me that she also wanted 1/2 the care to be at her house (my son would have hated this b/c my SIL has a tendency to yell at him and give preference to her own daughter). My SIL would have been there also b/c she works from home.
I bailed right away. When she asked me why, I was so hurt and angry that all I could muster was that it wasn’t going to work out the way she wanted it and I didn’t want my son at her house b/c it wouldn’t be a good environement for him. My SIL would be working in the living room while my kids are running around. I could just imagine the verbal abuse my son would have to endure! My SIL thinks nothing of telling my son off. My son doesn’t like his aunt very much and never wants to go down there.
My SIL hung up on me and then 2 minutes later she called me, but I wouldn’t answer the phone b/c I knew she was going to yell at me. She did not leave a voice mail or an email.
Well, after my SIL hung up on me she then unfriended me on Facebook.
I know I made the right decision, but it breaks my heart so much! I miss my God Daughter and I am finally accepting that I will never have a relationship with my SIL. She is just not a nice person. She uses guilt, manipulation and spite to get what she wants. I have to let her go b/c it’s healthy for me.
I’m just a little bit broken right now