Feelings of Complacency

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I think I may be going through a small trial right now. I am having feelings of complacency no matter how much I pray. I continue to pray and to worship, knowing that what I am doing is helping others if it is not helping me. But there is one part of me that is growing weary of the vocation journey. I know it will pass, but I feel like I’m growing impatient waiting for the news of whether or not I’m accepted to the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus. I believe I will be told when I go to see them next month and do a live-in, so I’m trying to be patient.

I haven’t done any discerning with any other community since finding out that my call was there in the convent. I haven’t looked at any other community, either. So why do I feel like I’m going nowhere? I feel like I’m giving my all to the Carmelites, but how do I wait for God when my soul wants to move forward right now? I know I can’t change it, but my mind keeps saying I can, and I don’t believe it. Why are my head and heart in discord?

Has anyone else experienced this?

 

[Trishie]

Hi, have you read St Therese’s “Story of a soul”? You may find it helpful to read of her distress at having to wait for her entry to Carmel, and how she handled it to best advantage.

It’s natural for feelings to plateau, by the way. The benefit of those periods, when emotion wanes, is that they can detach us from the selfishness that can creep into even our best intentions and aspirations. We must continue to pray and serve even when there is not satisfaction, at these times you know that what you’re doing is for God not for self. Even in our hightest aspirations there is subtly interwoven selfishness. This is human, and we are human.

May the Lord be with you to guide you

 

[StarMaiden]

I have been having doubts about whether my vocation is true or not and I think that all those called have doubts and grow weary at one time or another. For me now, I think of myself in a boat with a hand on the tiller (my vocation) and my Lord is the wind that fills the sails and guides the boat to its destined shore

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

Hi, have you read St Therese’s “Story of a soul”? You may find it helpful to read of her distress at having to wait for her entry to Carmel, and how she handled it to best advantage.

It’s natural for feelings to plateau, by the way. The benefit of those periods, when emotion wanes, is that they can detach us from the selfishness that can creep into even our best intentions and aspirations. We must continue to pray and serve even when there is not satisfaction, at these times you know that what you’re doing is for God not for self. Even in our hightest aspirations there is subtly interwoven selfishness. This is human, and we are human.

May the Lord be with you to guide you

I’ve read it already, but maybe I’ll read it again after finishing “The Interior Castle” by St. Teresa of Avila. St. Teresa has helped me very much in understanding the different stages of spiritual development, and I wonder if this is Jesus’ way of telling me I’m maturing and I don’t need His help quite so much as before? I’m not unhappy or distressed, just a little doubtful. My spiritual director says that I’m like St. Peter. St. Peter is fastly becoming one of my patron saints.

 

[withwind]

and I wonder if this is Jesus’ way of telling me I’m maturing and I don’t need His help quite so much as before?

The more mature you are, the more you need His help – even more than you used to. If you think the opposite, then you are not really mature.

 

[Doc2be]

I’ve read it already, but maybe I’ll read it again after finishing “The Interior Castle” by St. Teresa of Avila. St. Teresa has helped me very much in understanding the different stages of spiritual development, and I wonder if this is Jesus’ way of telling me I’m maturing and I don’t need His help quite so much as before? I’m not unhappy or distressed, just a little doubtful. My spiritual director says that I’m like St. Peter. St. Peter is fastly becoming one of my patron saints.

I think I disagree with withthewinds comment prior to mine. As St. John of the Cross will tell you, the more mature/closer you are to God the more he takes his hand away to let you walk with Him by free choice and for no other reason than love.

I also went through a period of complacency about my vocation. I made it through because the peace in my heart never left, but the excitement waned slightly. So, I saw it as somewhat of a test. God was helping me make sure that I was fully committed to this next step on the journey to His most loving arms…He wanted to give me the chance to prove, not only to Him, but to myself that I won’t back down the moment it becomes tough or I am tempted by other things. I am sure in our lives, which we devote to our dear Lord, there will be many occasions to lay down our cross and walk away…this could be one of those opportunities. Stay strong to the Easter message and continue to carry your cross and show your love through suffering with Christ and His Way!

I will continue to pray for you and may God bless you.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

The more mature you are, the more you need His help – even more than you used to. If you think the opposite, then you are not really mature.

St. Teresa of Avila says otherwise. Perhaps you should read “The Interior Castle.” It has really helped me. God bless and have a blessed Easter Triduum.

 

[withwind]

I think I disagree with withthewinds comment prior to mine. As St. John of the Cross will tell you, the more mature/closer you are to God the more he takes his hand away to let you walk with Him by free choice and for no other reason than love.

I hope I don’t go off or misunderstood the topic…

Are you saying that as we are mature, we need God’s help less?
and if one walks with Him by Love - where does this love come from?
Could one truly Love God by his/her own love …or…the Love of God in his/her heart?

… for the topic: feeling of complacency - is the OP satisfied with herself? and where is this satisfaction coming from?

– be careful for being self-satisfied - as soon as one thinks he’s all good; he would stumble very hard.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I think I disagree with withthewinds comment prior to mine. As St. John of the Cross will tell you, the more mature/closer you are to God the more he takes his hand away to let you walk with Him by free choice and for no other reason than love.

I also went through a period of complacency about my vocation. I made it through because the peace in my heart never left, but the excitement waned slightly. So, I saw it as somewhat of a test. God was helping me make sure that I was fully committed to this next step on the journey to His most loving arms…He wanted to give me the chance to prove, not only to Him, but to myself that I won’t back down the moment it becomes tough or I am tempted by other things. I am sure in our lives, which we devote to our dear Lord, there will be many occasions to lay down our cross and walk away…this could be one of those opportunities. Stay strong to the Easter message and continue to carry your cross and show your love through suffering with Christ and His Way!

I will continue to pray for you and may God bless you.

God bless you, Doc2be. I agree wholeheartedly. St. Teresa of Avila agrees with St. John. I believe as the soul matures, God gives her little tests by stepping away a bit and seeing if the beloved soul will walk to God with the cross on her shoulders. If she does, then she matures more. If not, then she is in need of more spiritual direction. I pray that I continue to walk towards Him, especially during this time we remember His suffering and death. Have a Blessed Easter!

 

[withwind]

St. Teresa of Avila says otherwise. Perhaps you should read “The Interior Castle.” It has really helped me. God bless and have a blessed Easter Triduum.

That book is not for me to read at this time - way over my head.
What are your feelings of complacency?
You too have a blessed Holy Week!

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I hope I don’t go off or misunderstood the topic…

Are you saying that as we are mature, we need God’s help less?
and if one walks with Him by Love - where does this love come from?
Could one truly Love God by his/her own love …or…the Love of God in his/her heart?

… for the topic: feeling of complacency - is the OP satisfied with herself? and where is this satisfaction coming from?

– be careful for being self-satisfied - as soon as one thinks he’s all good; he would stumble very hard.

It’s not that we need God’s help less. He is always there to help us if we need it, but sometimes, He allows darkness to settle into our soul so that we become less selfish and more mature. Look at St. Therese of Lisieux. She was truly a loved soul, but she suffered through some intense spiritual dryness especially when she was about to succumb to tuberculosis. Even in her ill state, she never gave up hope that she would see her Beloved in heaven.

I am not fully satisfied, and I never will be on earth. If I were to become like this, my pride would inflate very much and I’d be a horrible person. Even worse than the state I am currently in! No, we must keep growing in God. We must keep walking towards Him just like the great saints and doctors of the Church, St. Teresa and St. Therese. St. John of the Cross went through this too (and he’s a doctor of the Church as well).

Something I read recently applies here:

When we think of the love of God, it is not ours, but what He gives to us. It is not ours for keeping. We are constantly moving to give it back to Him.

 

[withwind]

It’s not that we need God’s help less. He is always there to help us if we need it, but sometimes, He allows darkness to settle into our soul so that we become less selfish and more mature. Look at St. Therese of Lisieux. She was truly a loved soul, but she suffered through some intense spiritual dryness especially when she was about to succumb to tuberculosis. Even in her ill state, she never gave up hope that she would see her Beloved in heaven.

That…I understood…

I am not fully satisfied, and I never will be on earth. If I were to become like this, my pride would inflate very much and I’d be a horrible person. Even worse than the state I am currently in! No, we must keep growing in God. We must keep walking towards Him just like the great saints and doctors of the Church, St. Teresa and St. Therese. St. John of the Cross went through this too (and he’s a doctor of the Church as well).

Something I read recently applies here:

When we think of the love of God, it is not ours, but what He gives to us. It is not ours for keeping. We are constantly moving to give it back to Him.

It looks like I misunderstood your question and the title “feelings of complacency”. Didn’t you said you felt satisified…I wasn’t really clear on what satisfaction you had.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

That…I understood…

It looks like I misunderstood your question and the title “feelings of complacency”. Didn’t you said you felt satisified…I wasn’t really clear on what satisfaction you had.

I reread my original post, and I never talked about satisfaction. I think you accidentally misread the sentence.

“If it doesn’t help me, it will help someone else.”

I was talking about my prayer.

I think this was just a simple misunderstanding.

 

[withwind]

I think this was just a simple misunderstanding.

I think I did and sorry about that. I thought “feelings of complacency” means “self-satisfied” and that is why I reponded the way I did.

 

[Nom_the_Wise]

I am not fully satisfied, and I never will be on earth.

Boy you said it. Now, can you laugh at yourself?

Has anyone ever accused you of being an over-achiever? You are *so *on top of this thing! The reason I ask it, every other day it seems you’ve posted a new thread. I just checked the listing of your threads (only a selective representation):
*I GOT IT (the application),
*Autobiography Help For My Application,
*Keep Marching On–A Vocation Note,
*My Finished Application is in the Mail!
*Finally meeting my spiritual director!
*My upcoming trip!

And I’m reading the titles to these threads thinking "Man! This young woman is a force of nature! A real go-getter! And then…

*Feelings of Complacency I didn’t think you were capable! (If I may be permitted to joke with you…) I imagined your next threads being:

*I had water but it didn’t change to wine! What went wrong?
*Dark night of the Soul, Act 1
*Dark night of the Soul, musical interlude
*Dark night of the Soul, Final Act
*How do you defeat an Archangel like St. Michael at Scrabble that knows every word ever uttered since the dawn of time? Pointers?

Relaaaax. Take some deep breaths. I realize that you’re excited about being accepted (and even anxious), but even *God *rested on the seventh day. Take a day off. Hike in a forest. Have you ever read Emerson’s essay “Nature”? Be the eyeball in the woods. Breathe it all in. This will happen for you. If it doesn’t happen for you, it shouldn’t happen for anyone.

And didn’t even Theresa of Avila say that sometimes she felt something akin to lightning bolts going through her hands while reaching for the door to the chapel? It happens to Saints. Why should you be any different. You are such an impressive young woman, and reading your posts have been very edifiying to me in a dark period of my life. I need you to be strong. I need to see you post *this *thread:

*I MADE IT! I MADE IT! DEEP DOWN I KNEW I WOULD! PRAISE GOD!

I’m waiting for *that *to happen. And I don’t even need faith. It will. And you know it. (I mean unless you’re a psychotic murderer just *posing *on CAF as a 25 year old woman applying to the Carmelites —if *you *have something to fear, then we all do. God bless you.

 

[RevDrNorth]

Has anyone else experienced this?

Yes. I waited and waited and prayed and wanted an answer now. When it did not come I was quite frustrated.

What I learned, as difficult as it was, is to prayerfully seek God’s guidance, follow his leading (ie do what I need to do) and in the end trust that what is best for me will come to pass. “All things work together for good for those who love the Lord”. Sometimes the answer is not what I want. Other times it is but it is in God’s time. There are so many factors and variables involved (situations and people) that must be aligned even when my prayers will be answered positively that I need to simply let go and let God.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

Yes. I waited and waited and prayed and wanted an answer now. When it did not come I was quite frustrated.

What I learned, as difficult as it was, is to prayerfully seek God’s guidance, follow his leading (ie do what I need to do) and in the end trust that what is best for me will come to pass. “All things work together for good for those who love the Lord”. Sometimes the answer is not what I want. Other times it is but it is in God’s time. There are so many factors and variables involved (situations and people) that must be aligned even when my prayers will be answered positively that I need to simply let go and let God.

I reread this poem, and I feel at peace. I know Jesus is simply testing me to see if I will continue to follow Him even when the going gets tough.

“Wait”
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate…
and the Master so gently said,“Wait.”

“Wait? you say wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!”
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign.
Or even a ‘no,’ to which I’ll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting…for what?”
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine…
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You’d never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I’m doing in you!
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though often My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still…“Wait”.

 

[StarMaiden]

I reread this poem, and I feel at peace. I know Jesus is simply testing me to see if I will continue to follow Him even when the going gets tough.

“Wait”
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate…
and the Master so gently said,“Wait.”

“Wait? you say wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!”
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign.
Or even a ‘no,’ to which I’ll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting…for what?”
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine…
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You’d never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I’m doing in you!
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though often My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still…“Wait”.

That poem is wonderful Thank you for sharing it, I will be copying it out and keeping it.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

That poem is wonderful Thank you for sharing it, I will be copying it out and keeping it.

You’re welcome!

 

[Sister_Helena]

Part of the maturation process is acquiring the ability to rise above our emotions. Not to be without them or denying them, but not being controlled by them to the extent of being overwhelmed by anxieties. Sometimes too, discerning a religious vocation can become an adventure for some people and the excitement of the pursuit energizes them. Once the object of the pursuit is at hand, the excitement wanes and one is left feeling dry and dissatisfied. The mind and emotions can enslave us if we let them.

My advice is to be internally quiet. Stop checking your “spiritual temperature”- is this a temptation? Am I on the dark night? Is God testing me? etc… Once you have given yourself to God, leave it at that, be faithful to prayer and continue with whatever obligations your state in life requires of you. That is just a small advice from me. Simplicity of intention is a virtue most acceptabe to God.