Feelings toward family

[agnusdei333]

Is it normal for someone to not truly love their parents or family because for me it is hard, my feelings towards them are indifferent right now.

I am a traditional catholic who has stepped further into the church than expected. I grew up in a family that did not practice the faith or even teach the faith. I am 29 years old and still living at home due to the fact that I don’t have a good paying job to support myself and I am not sure marriage is my true calling in life, so I am currently stuck. Another issue I am dealing with is that my parents and even sisters no longer practice the faith, so there is a true lack of faith at home, so that is adding to a deep sadness that is building up inside of me. I want to love them as Christ loves us, but it is hard for me to do because they truly don’t love Jesus by living a christian lifestyle through prayer, living the sacraments of the church, and being modest in dress and life. I know others can’t be like me but I would like to have them at least come back to the church. I am afraid to confront them on this issue.

Getting back to my question, is it normal for someone to not love their parents and family?

 

[AussieTrish]

Your situation sounds difficult, but it may be that God’s main focus at present is to help you to know that your primary task is to love them, and to pray for them. Jesus said to love even your enemies (and this is so, even if your ‘enemies’ are members of your family).

Matthew 5:43-45
Love for Enemies

‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.

Perhaps you mean that you dislike your family, and/or that you judge them, and while what you say indicates that you do not love them, a failure to love them with genuine kindness and love would be a radical failure of Christian love and life. I’m not speaking of emotions necessarily, but love in your interactions and deeds.

It could well be that you will remain at home with inadequate income until you truly learn God’s lesson of love for your family. It may be a sacrifice that for the present is required of you so that you pray with deep feeling (because your emotions in living with them are painful and relevant) for the graces of faith and conversion for your family.

God may require of you the sacrifice of unconditional love for the members of your family.
Your responsibility is to witness true Christian love and goodness to your family, without any natural sense of self-righteousness, because your own faith, your own dedication, is gift of God. (Thanks be to God for this gift to you of faith and dedication.)

“By such love, everyone will know that we are Your disciples.”
“Anyone who says ‘I love God’, and hates his brother is a liar, since a person who does not love the brother that he can see, cannot love God whom he has never seen.” 1 letter of John 4:20-21

May God bless your family and you.

 

[merne9]

Your situation sounds difficult, but it may be that God’s main focus at present is to help you to know that your primary task is to love them, and to pray for them. Jesus said to love even your enemies (and this is so, even if your ‘enemies’ are members of your family)…

Completely agree.
Reminds me of two quotes from St. Francis of Assisi
“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”
“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.”
You might be the only representation of God they have in their lives.