Financing husband's studies

[Anamaria]

I am wondering how married Catholic couples with children finance the husband’s studies…

My husband and I are expecting our first child. I am staying at home, and we are not willing to put the child in daycare. Meanwhile, it is starting to look as if it would make sense for my husband to return to school. (Law school seems to be what he feels called to.)

I am under the impression that, e.g., Ave Maria school of law has quite a few ‘older’ students. How do they finance their studies? I would love to hear any thoughts or experiences anyone may want to share on the topic!

God bless!

 

[Princess_Abby]

I have many friends at Ave Maria Law school. They are all married, in their mid-twenties or a bit older (under 30). The men work as they can or don’t work at all, and wives either work outside the home when their husband isn’t at class and can care for the baby…or, they just live on loans. It’s difficult and they are all ridiculously in debt, but…they are all ridiculously happy, too.

 

[dhgray]

IT’s called night school. If you are a single source income family, he can not afford to drop out of the work place. That is unless you get a job working at night. I want to go back and get a masters, but I don’t need a masters. There is a difference between wants and needs. Does he need to go back? Do you need to stay home?

God Bless you in what ever comes your way.

 

[Island_Oak]

My husband’s employer paid for everything–$60,000 worth of tuition for an MBA. I’m unfamiliar with Ave Maria law and its costs.

In my mind the biggest challenge is the time, not the money. My husband was all but absent the two year term of that program. It was hard and I wouldn’t un-do it but really something you need to factor in along with the finances.

 

[Anamaria]

Wow… You guys are fast! Thank you so much for the replies!

Night school is out of the question, as we live in a small city. In other words, my husband would have to quit his job, no matter what.

Yes, it does seem as if my husband might ‘have to’ study. There are pretty much no jobs in his area of previous studies and the current job might be a dead end. (Still praying and waiting.) When it comes to my staying at home… I would not mind working at night but, as I said, day care (and a full time job for me) is not an option. (I have worked at one… a good one at that, and would never put a baby in such a place.)

Princess_ Abby: Thank you! I would love to hear whatever else you might be able to tell me about your friends at Ave Maria and their lives in that area!

 

[otm]

Law school is going to take three years of intense study, and unless he is in the top 1/3 or better, he may have some time before he finds work. Then, it will probably be a bare minimum of 50 hours a week; should he get into a medium to large firm, he is looking at more like 80 hours a week.

If you think I am kidding, go talk to one of the younger memebers of one of those firms.

If he thinks he can get by on his own, by hanging out his shingle, can you get by on $15,000 to $20,000 a year? Do you have a town large enough to sustain a practice? Or another practice?

And the jobs in the corporate world are just as competitively let, so that is no guarantee; and as junior corporate counsel, his hours sure aren’t going to be 9-5. He gets to pick up the slack (I think the doctors call it scut work) that the senior counsel doesn’t want.

So how do you survive? Well, first he has to get accepted; and the admissions process should tell him what the tuition is going to be, and someone can give him an estimate of books. and they can also let him know about scholarships, and grants, and loans. Oh, and you have the ordinary living expenses.

You said that you are expecting. You will also get to pay for insurance, which I might guess at $1000/month for a family, or you can “fly naked”, with no coverage at all…

Do you have family anywhere near a law school, who could help out with the baby sitting? Do you really want to take a job at night? Do you really have any way to pay back the loans?

 

[Anamaria]

Thank you, OTM!

Yes, we are aware of the things you mentioned about the work, as one of my husband’s best friends is going through all that right now.

We shall keep praying and see where God leads us.

 

[sparkle]

Anamaria:

I am wondering how married Catholic couples with children finance the husband’s studies…

Sounds wonderful!!! You will have a secure future and God will work it out!!! You don’t worry now, you just worry about your children!! O.K.? Let hubby worry about it!

First of all, DO NOT feel YOU have to, or should go to work to help “finance” your husband’s further education. There has been many traumas because of this occurring in marriages. It is NOT the wife’s responsibility to “work to put her husband through school”, or to pay the necessary bills needing to be paid, i.e., house, food, utilities, etc., and schooling, this is HIS job. Extras, O.K., if a wife needs to work part-time for these, that’s of course an exception, i.e., vacations, clothing, household stuff, etc…

There are many government loans out there easily accessible to him for law school. I’m certain of this!!! So, Annemarie friend, let him figure it out!!

Good Luck! It sounds marvelous. Don’t let anyone talk you into working, and leaving your motherly role at this time.

 

[Princess_Abby]

sparkle:

Anamaria:

I am wondering how married Catholic couples with children finance the husband’s studies…

Sounds wonderful!!! You will have a secure future and God will work it out!!! You don’t worry now, you just worry about your children!! O.K.? Let hubby worry about it!

First of all, DO NOT feel YOU have to, or should go to work to help “finance” your husband’s further education. There has been many traumas because of this occurring in marriages. It is NOT the wife’s responsibility to “work to put her husband through school”, or to pay the necessary bills needing to be paid, i.e., house, food, utilities, etc., and schooling, this is HIS job. Extras, O.K., if a wife needs to work part-time for these, that’s of course an exception, i.e., vacations, clothing, household stuff, etc…

There are many government loans out there easily accessible to him for law school. I’m certain of this!!! So, Annemarie friend, let him figure it out!!

Good Luck! It sounds marvelous. Don’t let anyone talk you into working, and leaving your motherly role at this time.

Um, I’m sure you meant those suggestions in a charitable way, sparkle, but…it sort of comes off sounding like you expect Anamaria to just dump all the worry in her husband’s lap. That, to me, does not make any sense. Yes, we have roles in marriage but we WORK TOGETHER for the common good. It is Anamaria’s best interest to help work out a plan for her husband’s education because it is that very education that will help sustain the welfare of she and her children down the road.

Anyway…Anamaria…about Ave Maria

If you want, PM me and you could ask more specific questions. A dear friend of mine just moved up there to live and work while she and her fiance wait out their engagement. (They are not living together.) An exboyfriend of mine also goes there, and then a few married acquaintances as well. They all speak very highly of the school and the learning environment!!!