Finding the right Church?

[Ralph4454]

I truly apologize for the distractions Malia.
Please don’t feel bad about it, for it is not your fault others got off the subject.
Search deep in your soul what it is you seek, inform yourself with as much scripture as
possible, then make an informed decision. I hope this helps, and others, please try to
help Malia out

 

[graceandglory]

For the record when I asked Truthseeker if he believed Catholics follow the antichrist, he refused to deny it.

While this says much for his honesty, it doesn’t say much about any other aspect of his personality.

Wow. That is so far outside the pale of protestant Orthodoxy. You’d think if he were truly seeking God’s truth, and disagreed with the Catholic Church, he would at least try to align with protestant Christian orthodoxy.

 

[twopekinguys]

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=406112

Post 3

See, here we go with context again.

Looking at the post this person was responding to, it was a legitimate question asking what authority you or your pastor are basing your interpetation on.

Needless to say, the post he was responding to clearly shows your anti-Catholic bias.

Finding out what religion you are would give insight into where you are getting some of your definitions for words.

For example, how did you come up with the fact that “Beast means nation”, or “Woman means Church”.

Your multiple references to a church and city state are an obvious insinuation to something. Add that to your signature, what is it you’re trying to say? Spit it out.

By the way, how many Church and City States are there in the World. Can you name it, or them?

Your repeated refusals to be honest and straightforward continue to erode whatever credibility you might have. Or had for that matter.

 

[sablouwho]

I have a similar question to the OP…

How to I find a parish that is a good fit for me? I am a candidate in RCIA, but unfortunately this particular parish is a poor fit for me. I live in Los Angeles so there are a LOT of parishes here, but distance/traffic is a factor. I’ve looked into places that offer the Tridentin Latin mass but none of the places that do it regularly are close by–I could attend, but distance would make it hard for me to take part in parish life outside of Sundays.

I’ve been to mass at the Cathedral once, it was great but it’s a schlep. And again, it’s not a parish. I feel that as someone who is going to be new in the Church it is preferable to find a place to which I can “belong” and be involved. This is especially so since I’m a convert from Judaism and thus have no Christian role models in my family.

Is there a patron saint for “finding the right church?”

OR is it more appropriate to ask my patron saint for help

OR what about the patron saint of Los Angeles (St. Vibiana)

Thanks for your help!

 

[aspirant]

How to I find a parish that is a good fit for me? I am a candidate in RCIA, but unfortunately this particular parish is a poor fit for me.

In what way(s)?

 

[Ralph4454]

Like you said, there are hundreds of churches in your area, find one that fits your needs.

 

[sablouwho]

In what way(s)?

Oh dear, I was hoping to not have to go into the details, but…

It’s too big for my tastes (it’s quite large)…this makes it challenging to meet people. At the contemporary mass, the music approaches that of a Protestant church, all praise and worship-y. It feels like a performance to me.

Even in the masses that are supposed to be more traditional, they do not seem particularly traditional to my ear. (Instead the music reminds me of cheesy lounge music.) Sorry, I don’t want to feel like I’m in piano bar when I’m in church!

The Monsignor mentions Joel Osteen a lot (and a few of Osteen’s books are in the parish bookstore.) Most homilies are feel-good pep talks.

I didn’t realize until I came to CAF that holding hands during the Our Father is considered improper form, but…you guessed it. During the Our Father the convention there is to hold hands, and then to raise the held-hands up at a certain point.

Then there is the applause. After confirmations in November, the congregation clapped. It was while I was witnessing this confirmation during the mass that I realized that I would have been sorely disappointed if this had been my entrance rite into the CC. If a speaker gets up after the homily to discuss anything, there is applause.

Have I mentioned the dancers who come up the center aisle from time to time to lead the processional?

The things I’ve mentioned above may make a great fit for someone else. They are just not a fit for me. I prefer Gregorian chant over drums and guitar (or bad piano music). I prefer reverence instead of this “kumbaya” style of church. (If I wanted Kumbaya, I would have stuck with Protestantism).

Hopefully you get the idea. These things just aren’t for me. (But obviously, they work for other people–it’s a popular parish.)

I’d like to find a church that is more reverent. A place where the music is more traditional where the “stylistic” posture is such that I can have a genuine appreciation for what is taking place at the altar. Because as someone new to all of this, I’m finding all the touchy-feely stuff to be a major turn off.

 

[aspirant]

Oh dear, I was hoping to not have to go into the details, but…

Sorry, I was curious.

 

[twopekinguys]

Oh dear, I was hoping to not have to go into the details, but…

It’s too big for my tastes (it’s quite large)…this makes it challenging to meet people. At the contemporary mass, the music approaches that of a Protestant church, all praise and worship-y. It feels like a performance to me.

Even in the masses that are supposed to be more traditional, they do not seem particularly traditional to my ear. (Instead the music reminds me of cheesy lounge music.) Sorry, I don’t want to feel like I’m in piano bar when I’m in church!

The Monsignor mentions Joel Osteen a lot (and a few of Osteen’s books are in the parish bookstore.) Most homilies are feel-good pep talks.

I didn’t realize until I came to CAF that holding hands during the Our Father is considered improper form, but…you guessed it. During the Our Father the convention there is to hold hands, and then to raise the held-hands up at a certain point.

Then there is the applause. After confirmations in November, the congregation clapped. It was while I was witnessing this confirmation during the mass that I realized that I would have been sorely disappointed if this had been my entrance rite into the CC. If a speaker gets up after the homily to discuss anything, there is applause.

Have I mentioned the dancers who come up the center aisle from time to time to lead the processional?

The things I’ve mentioned above may make a great fit for someone else. They are just not a fit for me. I prefer Gregorian chant over drums and guitar (or bad piano music). I prefer reverence instead of this “kumbaya” style of church. (If I wanted Kumbaya, I would have stuck with Protestantism).

Hopefully you get the idea. These things just aren’t for me. (But obviously, they work for other people–it’s a popular parish.)

I’d like to find a church that is more reverent. A place where the music is more traditional where the “stylistic” posture is such that I can have a genuine appreciation for what is taking place at the altar. Because as someone new to all of this, I’m finding all the touchy-feely stuff to be a major turn off.

I understand where you’re coming from. I wouldn’t go for many of the things you mentioned either.

Keep looking for that parish that fits what you’re looking for. I’m sure you will find it.

 

[sablouwho]

Sorry, I was curious.

I don’t mind that you’re curious, it’s a natural thing I would have been curious myself,

The reason I didn’t want to go into it was because I feel like I’m whining when I list the things I don’t like about this parish. AND I didn’t want to start a big tangent on

But perhaps you might also have some advice for me?

You see, this is a pretty critical issue for me…not finding a parish that resonates for me has kept me from entering the Church for the past few years. You see, I had a road to Damascus conversion 4 years ago and come from a 100% Jewish background (though I was agnostic and not religious) and while I had wanted to go to the Catholic Church, for a variety of reasons I went to a Protestant one. It’s quite a popular one with a great lead pastor, a very good P&W band, etc. And while I liked it at first, eventually I began to feel like I was being “performed at…” Thus, it was dismaying to go to a parish that feels so similar in feel to the Protestant churches that I’ve already tried and found wanting. It’s especially hard for me because as a Jew, gospel-y type music makes my skin crawl–there is something about it that makes me fear that “the Christians are coming to get me–quick, run and hide.” I can’t explain why that kind of music automatically makes me fear antisemitism, but it no doubt has something to do with what I learned as a kid. So, thus far, most types of P&W music that I’ve heard really turn me off.

I’ve had a few false starts in RCIA because of the issue of not being able to connect in the parish. I am in the process of “transferring” to a different RCIA program than the one at the parish. The “new” one is unusual in that it is not sponsored by a parish, but rather it is an outreach program of a sub-ministry of the Holy Cross Fathers. It is MUCH more substantial than the two other RCIA programs I’ve tried. It’s just a better fit for me–the other two RCIA programs were sort of like being in kindergarten, and this one is, well, like being in college by comparison. Thus, while I am in this new RCIA program, which is a MUCH better fit for me, I still have to find a parish to call home.

So, back to the questions in my original post–if you have any constructive advice as to how to tackle this question of a parish, I’d really appreciate it, specifically:

–how do I go about finding one when I live in such a large city (Los Angeles) with so many parishes? I mean, do I just literally go to a different Sunday mass each week at a different parish until I find one that resonates? Or are there other ways of finding out info about parishes? (Too bad there isn’t a website that reviews them, sort of like restaurant reviews)
–is there a patron saint of “finding a good Church home/community”?
–are there special prayers I can say for this?

Anything constructive that you might offer is greatly appreciated.

 

[aspirant]

But perhaps you might also have some advice for me? You see, this is a pretty critical issue for me…not finding a parish that resonates for me has kept me from entering the Church for the past few years.

Having endured a couple of horrible RCIA programs and a third one-on-one period being instructed in pseudo-Christian pagan nonsense before becoming Catholic, and many lame parishes since becoming Catholic, my own advice would be: Do not let these kinds of things stand between you and full communion with the Catholic Church. My attitude toward all these things is “I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

J.R.R. Tolkien actually recommended attending liturgies one finds distasteful:

I can recommend this as an exercise (alas! only too easy to find opportunity for): make your communion in circumstances that affront your taste. Choose a snuffling or gabbling priest or a proud and vulgar friar; and a church full of the usual bourgeois crowd, ill-behaved children-- from those who yell to those products of Catholic schools who the moment the tabernacle is opened sit back and yawn-- open necked and dirty youths, women in trousers and often with hair both unkempt and uncovered. Go to communion with them (and pray for them). It will be just the same (or better than that) as a mass said beautifully by a visibly holy man, and shared by a few devout and decorous people. (It could not be worse than the mess of the feeding of the Five Thousand - after which [our] Lord propounded the feeding that was to come.)

Tolkien found some things distasteful that I do not, but I think that’s part of the point: it’s not our own tastes that matter.

I am afraid this advice will merely come across as “Suck it up.” Please understand that’s not what I’m saying. I do understand that this can be a real ordeal. I wish the circumstances were very, very different. I just don’t want bad circumstances to keep you from the Church.

At the same time, I am not trying to discourage you from seeking a good place to worship.

eventually I began to feel like I was being “performed at…”

I know the feeling.

Thus, it was dismaying to go to a parish that feels so similar in feel to the Protestant churches that I’ve already tried and found wanting.

A lot of people today, I suspect, “perform at” you during time set aside for worship because they don’t really know what they’re supposed to be doing. Perhaps many of them have seen such “performances” and think that is what they’re supposed to be doing. It might be a good idea to pray for them.

It’s especially hard for me because as a Jew, gospel-y type music makes my skin crawl–there is something about it that makes me fear that “the Christians are coming to get me–quick, run and hide.” I can’t explain why that kind of music automatically makes me fear antisemitism, but it no doubt has something to do with what I learned as a kid. So, thus far, most types of P&W music that I’ve heard really turn me off.

The “new” one is unusual in that it is not sponsored by a parish, but rather it is an outreach program of a sub-ministry of the Holy Cross Fathers. It is MUCH more substantial than the two other RCIA programs I’ve tried.

If this is the program that Barb Nicolosi’s been involved in at Family Theatre, I don’t think you could find a better program. I highly recommend it.

 

[Ralph4454]

Praying that you find what you’re searching

Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

 

[Coco82]

I find myself in the amw position as the OP. I enjoyed the feeling of community and fellowship at non-denom I went to but can’t say much for the Catholic Church since when I went there I was young and not as involved. I do want to find a church though that is a Catholic Charismatic one since I did feel very comfortable with that aspect of church.

 

[sablouwho]

If this is the program that Barb Nicolosi’s been involved in at Family Theatre, I don’t think you could find a better program. I highly recommend it.

Hey, that IS the one indeed! Oh, please tell me more! I’ve only attended one class so far (can’t wait for the next class this coming week) but it was amazing. I haven’t met Barb yet as one of the other team members was teaching last week, but he blew me away.

In any case it was so much better (at least for my needs) than the other two RCIA programs I’ve attended. It was pretty meaty.

If you don’t mind sharing, how it is you know about Barb and that RCIA program at Family Theater? Perhaps you live in the LA area too? (If you do live here, perhaps you know the parish landscape well enough to make some specific recommendations?)

Feel free to PM me if you want.

 

[crazzeto]

Thanks for all of your answers. Please don’t argue, I’m starting to feel like it’s my fault for asking the question.

When you guys say write down your beliefs, do you mean like in a journal?..like kind of a list?..after I write down my beliefs…what about any beliefs I don’t have an opinion on or are not sure about… journal it out while researching?

That’s probably a very good start anyway… I would include this, put your own desires aside. In order to find the truth you must be willing to accept that the truth might not look a whole lot like what you expect (or want it to).

Just as an example, sadly enough for much of my life I was very much a luke warm Catholic Christian. Sure over all I believed what the Church said about Jesus and salvation, but I didnt’ necessarly want to believe all of the moral teachings… Like why is contraception bad, so what if gay people get married, sure I would discourage (higly) any woman from aborting any of my childeren, but why should I support pro life in general? Shouldn’t everyone just make up their own minds?

It wasn’t until I stopped, emptied my self of my own desires and expectations and sat down with a fair mind and really studied the teachings that I started getting an inkling that there was something to what the church was teaching. It took a little bit to sink in, but I can honestly say I’m a total beleiver in the moral teachings of the Church.

I think that regardless of who you are, where your going and what you’re looking for in a church… There is that necessary step of first emptying your self of your own expectations if you really want to find the truth. Otherwise you’re really not looking for the truth, rather you are in truth just shopping for a “church that suites you”.