First Confession: Advise, Tips, Do's/Don't's etc, I'm nervous, yet excited about this and would like a primer on what to say and how much to say?

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Hello folks,

I was at the Saturday night Mass yesterday, and I bumped into a long time RCIA leader at my parish, after Mass she said you should speak the Priest about going to first confession and partaking in you First Communion. I am a baptized Catholic and have had been catechized for the past 9 months in RCIA, so I anyways I said yes I would like that, we then we briefly spoke to the Priest and he said yes set up a appointment for confession and then partake in your First Communion. So I am going to call and make an appointment.

Although we had a teaching session on Confession at RCIA, and still have the handouts, I still have questions and am nervous about this,

How many sins should confess, by that I mean, I’m in my late 30’s so they’ve accumulated 🙂 ?
How long is a first confession?
Is it more conversational or do I just run down the list, and then wait for the Priest to respond?
How specific should the confession be? And should it include bad thoughts? If there are sins within a certain category, ie (lust, anger, pride etc) do I address the category of list everything in there.

If anyone has any words of advise or just plain comments on this I’d appreciate it.
Thanks

God Bless
ww
 
How wonderful that you will be partaking of the sacraments!

When you confess your sins, you MUST confess every mortal (serious) sin that you remember, in number (how many times you committed it) and in kind (what the sin was). To intentionally withhold a serious sin from confession is itself a serious sin, and invalidates your entire confession (none of your sins would be forgiven).

Confession of venial sins is “optional,” but helps us grow in holiness and helps us avoid those sins in the future. Since you are confessing a “lifetime” of sins, obviously you can’t list all of them, but it would be good to confess those that give you the most trouble: those that you tend to repeat, those that damage your relationship with others, those you would really like to work on getting rid of.

Bishop Sheen, in one of the tapes in his “Life Is Worth Living” series, narrated an example of what a confession would sound like for a man who hadn’t been to confesson in about 20 years. It only took a few minutes. You don’t have to go into excruciating detail; name the sin, tell how many times you committed it (don’t worry about doing the math; something like “a couple of times a week for the past five years” is fine), and move on. The priest will ask for clarification if he needs it.

It is a good idea to confess the mortal sins first, to get them off your chest, and to make sure you don’t neglect to confess any of them. Then confessing the smaller stuff should be a breeze!

Don’t worry, the priest will help you if you need it. Then rejoice in God’s mercy!

If you UNINTENTIONALLY forget to confess a serious sin and think of it later, it is forgiven anyway, but as a matter of justice you should confess it next time you go to confession.
 
Congratulations on taking the next step! As far as Confession, you confess all the sins you remember since your baptism, which are mortal sins. Staying away from the Sacraments would be one. Any which bother you are ones you ought to confess, as well, even if they are venial. You might want to join RCIA to learn more about the faith; I am a member of my team. I am only four and a half years old in the faith. As a convert I find I learn new things every year I help to teach. It’s a good way to stay in touch with what the Catholic Church teaches, and if you have not yet been Confirmed, RCIA is the way to go. Make sure your instructor follows the Catholic Church’s teachings. We use the Catechism as our base. We have a small book which is a condensed version of the big one that Pope JP II promulgated. It is published by the USCCB, and it is really good. There are more liberal RCIA instructors out there. Ask God to guide you to the one which is right for you. God bless you! 👍
 
waxwing said:
Hello folks,

I was at the Saturday night Mass yesterday, and I bumped into a long time RCIA leader at my parish, after Mass she said you should speak the Priest about going to first confession and partaking in you First Communion. I am a baptized Catholic and have had been catechized for the past 9 months in RCIA, so I anyways I said yes I would like that, we then we briefly spoke to the Priest and he said yes set up a appointment for confession and then partake in your First Communion. So I am going to call and make an appointment.

Although we had a teaching session on Confession at RCIA, and still have the handouts, I still have questions and am nervous about this,

How many sins should confess, by that I mean, I’m in my late 30’s so they’ve accumulated 🙂 ?
How long is a first confession?
Is it more conversational or do I just run down the list, and then wait for the Priest to respond?
How specific should the confession be? And should it include bad thoughts? If there are sins within a certain category, ie (lust, anger, pride etc) do I address the category of list everything in there.

If anyone has any words of advise or just plain comments on this I’d appreciate it.
Thanks

God Bless
ww
Click to expand...
I would recommend setting up an appointment with the Priest, letting him know in advance that this is your first confession and he will then be able to guide you through it. It can either be face to face or anonymous.
 
PhilotheaZ said:
How wonderful that you will be partaking of the sacraments!

When you confess your sins, you MUST confess every mortal (serious) sin that you remember, in number (how many times you committed it) and in kind (what the sin was). To intentionally withhold a serious sin from confession is itself a serious sin, and invalidates your entire confession (none of your sins would be forgiven).

Confession of venial sins is “optional,” but helps us grow in holiness and helps us avoid those sins in the future. Since you are confessing a “lifetime” of sins, obviously you can’t list all of them, but it would be good to confess those that give you the most trouble: those that you tend to repeat, those that damage your relationship with others, those you would really like to work on getting rid of.

Bishop Sheen, in one of the tapes in his “Life Is Worth Living” series, narrated an example of what a confession would sound like for a man who hadn’t been to confesson in about 20 years. It only took a few minutes. You don’t have to go into excruciating detail; name the sin, tell how many times you committed it (don’t worry about doing the math; something like “a couple of times a week for the past five years” is fine), and move on. The priest will ask for clarification if he needs it.

It is a good idea to confess the mortal sins first, to get them off your chest, and to make sure you don’t neglect to confess any of them. Then confessing the smaller stuff should be a breeze!

Don’t worry, the priest will help you if you need it. Then rejoice in God’s mercy!

If you UNINTENTIONALLY forget to confess a serious sin and think of it later, it is forgiven anyway, but as a matter of justice you should confess it next time you go to confession.
Click to expand...
Thanks for your tips/advise
I’ve already briefly mentioned to him this would be my first confession, I think I will mention it again at the beginning so he knows I’m new and may need guidance or clarification. I was told practicing the “examination of conscience” may help as well.

Thanks again
ww
 
If you can, pick up a copy of Scott Hahn’s “Lord, Have Mercy” to read before you go.
 
When I returned to the Church after 30 years away, I felt like I was making a ‘first’ confession in a sense. I didn’t know exactly what to confess, so I found an examen of conscience on-line and it had a bazillion questions that really intimidated me.

When I did get to confession, I mentioned to the priest that this was my first confession in 30 years and I had had trouble determining what to confess beyond the obvious of being away from the sacraments.

He gave me a really good suggestion. Use the Beatitudes as an examen. Jesus calls His followers to a higher level of conduct and by prayerfully studying His teachings, we can see where we fall short.
 
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