First Confession help

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NewCatholic88

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I had my First Confession this past Saturday and I wrote all my sins down on a piece of paper under the impression I could hand it to the priest. When I got there I told the priest I had written them down because I was too ashamed to speak them out loud and asked him to take the paper, he refused, saying that “writing down one’s cofession is like confession over the telephone” and is not allowed… then he said “just chop off the first 10 and go from there”. Upon hearing this I was slightly taken aback, I did my best to vocalize my sins but out of shame I grouped 3 or 4 of my biggies into “acts of impurity” which I am now afraid may not have accurately represented the sins.

Questions:
Was my confession valid, or does the grouping of such grave sins invalidate the confession?

If I reconfess, should I reconfess all the sins, or just the ones I grouped together?

Are you really not allowed to hand the priest your sins on a paper?
–If so, what do the deaf/dumb do?
 
‘Acts of impurity’ sounds like a sufficient description, unless you were trying to cover a sin of murder or theft or something that WASN’T in any sense an act of impurity with that term.

Some penitents just say ‘I sinned against the xth commandment’. To be sure, these aren’t detailed descriptions, but then you’re primarily confessing to God, not to the priest. God knows your heart and what your exact sins are, so detail for the priest isn’t all that important.

The rule of thumb is that it’s up to the priest to decide if he needs more information or detail about your sins, and yours decided he didn’t. 🤷

It seems you weren’t deliberately trying to conceal or omit any mortal sin, which is about the only circumstance in which your confession would’ve been invalid.

He was right though - you need to verbally confess your sins, not just hand him a piece of paper. We may as well all stay home and write our priests a nice letter about our sins, and save ourselves the hassle of going into the confessional at all, if we could do it your way!

It’s an important part of the process of healing and overcoming sin (and not an easy one for many of us!) that you have the courage to talk about your sins. And it’s partly in your tone of voice, and the way you express yourself verbally, that the priest can judge whether you are truly contrite, for example, or trying to hide something. So it’s important that he have that chance, whenever it’s possible.

Secondly - your sins are confidential information, under the seal of the confessional, and it could be difficult to keep the seal if there’s a piece of paper floating around with your sins written down on it!

There’s nothing to be ashamed of in confessing - we’re all sinners, all need confession from time to time. Very few of us are inventive or unusual in the ways that we sin, so most priests really have ‘heard it all’.

The deaf and dumb use interpreters in the confessional (as in a second person who interprets between them and the priest), as would anyone who doesn’t speak the same language as the priest. Interpreters are permitted, mainly because there’s no better alternative, and they are bound by the seal of the confessional themselves as the priest is. The use of writing as the sole means of recounting your sins is not.
 
Don’t get too apprehensive…most of us get nervous going to confession. While it is hard sometimes to verbally acknowledge your sins it is an act of humility, honesty, and Trust in God’s Mercy. Just do the best you can…many years ago a priest friend of mine told me that priests have heard every possible sin there can be-its part of their training. So you don’t have to worry about the shock factor. Although when I returned back to the church in my early 20s I went to confession to an elderly priest…he wasn’t shocked at what I did so much as he was at my age and having done all those things.
BTW…I have confessed sins against the flesh, pride, etc…sometimes I had to give more info…sometimes not. Also, there are some things that I may think are grave sins and they are not and there are some things that I may have thought were not grave sins and they were…and there are some sins that I have to struggle with and try to overcome and the priest also helps with advice and prayers with that as well. And also from what you said it appears you are not deaf & dumb-so thank God for that. A priest will accomodate one in special circumstances as well.
 
Did he say “just chop off the first 10” after he saw the list?
 
Jsmith17 said:
The CA Apologist disagrees:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=290622
Click to expand...
Interesting.

In any event, even she notes that it’s not an advisable or appropriate practice for every penitent. And the reasons she gives are not the only reasons why it might not be - the reasons I gave also need to be considered.

So the upshot is that a priest has the right, as in the OP’s case, to request that the penitent NOT simply hand over a written list where it isn’t advisable or appropriate. 🤷

So to amend my earlier statement - ‘if your priest tells you not to hand over a written list, and instead to confess your sins verbally, then you must in obedience do so’. There.
 
When you go to Confession, you’re going to meet God in an intimate way.

Therefore the best thing to do, especially as you’re learning, is to follow the priest’s lead.
 
Praise and Thanks be to God for a good Confession…

I say “good” because it was your FIRST…doing anything the first time can be difficult…especially something as intimate, humbling and soul-baring as Confession…

your first Confession is behind you…Your subsequent Confessions will be easier. Spend some time next time before the Blessed Sacrament…ask Jesus to give you all the Grace required for you to Make a good Confession of your sins…and ask too for a penitent and contrite heart. Your words will come…

DO continue to write notes to yourself just prior to Confessing. I do and bring my “log” into the Confessional with me…sometimes, I can forget i n the heat (and shame) of the moment.

Speak with your coinfessor offline if need be…tell him you are experiencing difficulty. Most priests would be quite understanding and be able to offer words of encouragement…after all, you’re NOT going to shock them with ANYTHING you say

God Bless you…May the Holy Spirit dwell in your heart and guide you on your journey

in Christ

K~
 
It is the priest in the confessional who directs the penitent for his best interests and he is the one who should be obeyed, and he is the one giving absolution. penitent should follow the direction of the priest as in the long run this humility and obedience will enable us to get the most benefit from the grace of confession. I cannot see how monday-morning quarterbacking a confession is going to aid the penitent. Please, please do not worry about this, you found a good priest, you confessed to the best of your ability, with intent to confess all your sins, as the care you took to make the list shows, and you were absolved. All is forgiven, all is well. Be at peace and thank God for his Mercy. What a wonderful thing–that crazy sound you hear is all heaven and earth rejoicing over you.
 
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