First Confession Question

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Junebug999

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I went to my first confession appointment today (baptized Christian, in RCIA for confirmation next Easter vigil) and lo and behold I had the time wrong. The parish “keeper of the schedule” told me the priest had other appointments, and I could still see him, but “You will only have two minutes.” I have been so convicted for weeks that I need to go to confession, and I do not want to wait any longer. So, tomorrow morning I am going to go a local parish that has a 11:00 confession schedule, then an afternoon schedule, then late afternoon in my own parish. (I decided I will go to then until someone hears my first confession – surely not all these priests will turn me away?) I have heard priests do not want to hear a “first confession” during these times, but what I propose to do is have my list ready and be efficient with the priests time. I have spent a lot of time and prayer on my list of grievious sins. I just don’t want to wait another week. I feel this urgency that I need to make this confession now!

The only thing I am lacking is having a priest walk me through it. So, what are the mechanics. Sooooooo I go into the little booth and say,…

“Bless me father I have sinned, this is my first confession, but I promise to be very efficient”???

Then I give my list of sins very efficiently and answer the priests questions…then pray my contrition

Then he says …

Then I leave?

Question, can anyone else outside the booth hear my confession?

Is there enough privacy in the confessional booth?

Does the priest have to hear my confession or can he make me wait again?

It’s sad that there are so few priests, and I feel bad for taking up someone’s time, but I need to get this done.

Basically if the “keeper of the schedule” told me I could only have 2 minutes time, then I think this could be done in a confessional and by the way I prefer the privacy for my first confession anyway.

What do you think???
 
First of all, may God bless you for making your first confession. You will find that regular confession will work wonders in your relationship with God, with others, and achieving mastery over sin in your life.

Most priests would be more than glad to hear your first confession, and they understand that you probably haven’t memorized the traditional prayers yet. They will walk you through it, but here are the basic steps:

In the confessional, you will generally have the choice of remaining anonymous behind a screen or sitting face to face with the priest. You may choose either option, whatever you are most comfortable with. Older confessionals generally only have the screen, so the priest can’t see you and you can’t see him. In this type, there is often a sliding door covering the screen so the priest can hear a confession on the other side. When this door opens, you can begin.

Say “bless me, father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession.” The priest may say something at this point, or perhaps read a little Scripture to you, but you then tell him all your sins. Don’t leave anything out that you are conscious of, and if the sins are serious (mortal) sins, list the number of times you committed them.

The priest will often give some helpful advice on how you can avoid the sins you mentioned. He’ll give a penance, which is usually some prayers you pray after you leave the confessional that will help remit some of the temporal punishment (after effects) of your sins. He’ll then ask you to say an Act of Contrition. If your don’t know one (there are several versions), it is perfectly acceptable to bring a copy to read from, or to express in your own words that you are truly sorry for your sins and promise to amend your life. What is most important is that you mean what you say. The priest will then pray the prayer of absolution and all of your sins will be cleansed from your soul.

Regarding privacy, most confessionals and reconciliation rooms have some degree of soundproofing, but you should always speak in a low voice in the confessional just in case.
 
Thank you Caille – and also, I am 55. I have confessed my mortal sins and turned away from them many years ago. Do I still have to go back to confess mortal sins since my Christian baptism at age 5, or can I confess my recent mortal sins.

I specifically prayed for forgivness of sins on a regular basis and always was aware in asking for forgiveness that it meant a turning away from the sin. I always believed I was forgiven, in fact, it’s been hard dredging all that up now since I believed I was forgiven…of course God hears and forgives the heartfelt prayer of a Protestant woman who not yet has turned to the One True Church.

I will probably ask the priest about that. Since I have a line on my list of what I previously asked for forgiveness from and what was forgiven.

What is your opinion?
 
yes there is privacy and a regular confessional is built to reduce or eliminate the possibility of being overheard, and yes the priest will keep your confession confidential, to the point of death if necessary. In a makeshift area you would do well to keep your voice down. If you called the parish office back and told the “keeper” you must speak to the priest on an urgent pastoral matter–she needs no more details and if she asks she should be fired–and leave a call back number you will get better results.

have they given you any kind of prayer handbook in your RCIA class, which will have the form for confession? normally they spend a few classes teaching about the sacrament, what is a sin, what needs to be confessed and how to do it, but your own feeling you need to confess now is paramount.

Simply tell the priest I am already baptized, in RCIA to be confirmed, and this is my first confession. My sins are . . .
list them with frequency and number if you know. Only add relevant details. I stole a car yesterday, or I stole a car 20 years ago and have already made restitution. I stole 40 cars over my lifetime, or I stole one car as a crazy teenager.
end with for these and all the sins of my past life I am truly sorry.
He will take it from there.
if you don’t know an act of contrition, search hear and find one or when he asks you for that prayer, simply say, I am sorry for my sins because of their just punishment and because they offend the all-loving God, I promise to do penance and resolve to sin no more. Amen.
 
Junebug999 said:
I went to my first confession appointment today (baptized Christian, in RCIA for confirmation next Easter vigil) and lo and behold I had the time wrong. The parish “keeper of the schedule” told me the priest had other appointments, and I could still see him, but “You will only have two minutes.” I have been so convicted for weeks that I need to go to confession, and I do not want to wait any longer. So, tomorrow morning I am going to go a local parish that has a 11:00 confession schedule, then an afternoon schedule, then late afternoon in my own parish. (I decided I will go to then until someone hears my first confession – surely not all these priests will turn me away?) I have heard priests do not want to hear a “first confession” during these times, but what I propose to do is have my list ready and be efficient with the priests time. I have spent a lot of time and prayer on my list of grievious sins. I just don’t want to wait another week. I feel this urgency that I need to make this confession now!

The only thing I am lacking is having a priest walk me through it. So, what are the mechanics. Sooooooo I go into the little booth and say,…

“Bless me father I have sinned, this is my first confession, but I promise to be very efficient”???

Then I give my list of sins very efficiently and answer the priests questions…then pray my contrition

Then he says …

Then I leave?

Question, can anyone else outside the booth hear my confession?

Is there enough privacy in the confessional booth?

Does the priest have to hear my confession or can he make me wait again?

It’s sad that there are so few priests, and I feel bad for taking up someone’s time, but I need to get this done.

Basically if the “keeper of the schedule” told me I could only have 2 minutes time, then I think this could be done in a confessional and by the way I prefer the privacy for my first confession anyway.

What do you think???
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First of all no one should EVER be Required to make an appointment for confession. The whole idea goes against the anonymity of Confession which is available to each person.
 
Puzzleannie – when I brought up the forum and saw you had posted in the Liturgy & Sacrament forum I said to myself, “I hope puzzleannie responded to my question” and I was delighted you did. The first responder was very helpful as well.

Because I have been studying the catechism for many many years but was not able to join the church until my son was grown because my husband wanted son raised protestant. Now my son is 18 and does not attend even Protestant church, my husband now professes “what each person believes is their own road to whoever they believe to be god,” so now I’ve taken my stand that I am going to worship THE one and only TRUE GOD in HIS ONE and only TRUE CHURCH.

I have a prayer of contrition, but I will want to pray my own prayer from the heart. And I stayed up practically all night rehearsing my list of sins so I can be efficient with the Priest’s time.

And Brother, I so agree, I do not believe anyone should be making appointments for confession. I can see making appointments maybe for children’s first confessions, yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly. And, sadly enough, I had started decideing in my heart to make sure I never have to bother the Pastor or his keeper with needing them. That’s sad. I pray for him, he is a wonderful Pastor, and his parish is way too large.

But…you are right there should be no delay. I have a medical reason for this needing to be done soon PLUS I came so close to a major accident in rush hour traffic the other day. A little white car crossed over two lanes in an interchange and then STOPPED suddenly right in front of me. I was driving a 6,000 pound SUV and when I stopped I skidded completely to the right then compltely to the left then back forward before I got that car under control – ANGELS watching over me I’m sure. You just never know when it is our time to face eternity, and if we have a first confession or ANY confession of mortal sin, we need to get it done.

In fact Annie, I was in bay area last week and was so convicted that I needed confession as i drove home a distance of almost 300 miles every town I went through I had an urge to find the local Church and find a confessor.

The bottom line though missing my appointment was all my fault. But wanting anonymity for my first confession, I believe this was meant to happen this way.

I dearly love my Pastor and my local parish – and yes the “timekeeper” also. She does a wonderful service for our Parish. I will tell my experience to my RCIA leaders (who are also WONderful) and with prayer and discernment they will decide if they should talk to Pastor about this or not.

I’m leaving now to find a confessor. I will not come home again until this has been accomplished. Pray for me. I will post when I get home.

God Bless you! Prayer: Thank you Lord for your grace to provide a way for me to confess my sins and through your Holy Church a way for me to have absolution. I pray Your will be done in my life and Your will be done in the lives of all who read this thread today. Thank you for those who have responded. They delight in you Lord, please grant and bless them with the desires of their hearts. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. :amen: :signofcross:
 
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

I got it done – was as efficient as I could be. The Priest was very very kind. Now I’m washed white as snow through God’s grace, and I want to stay that way.

Now…on to Confirmation and Eucharist – Thanks Be to God!

Thank you for your guidance and prayers. CA is the best!
 
JuneBug99

Congratulations!!! And a huge welcome into the Church. Best of luck to you on your journey!
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
First of all no one should EVER be Required to make an appointment for confession. The whole idea goes against the anonymity of Confession which is available to each person.
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You know, I’ve always kind of wondered about this. The pastors are supposed to make certain that anyone not receiving their First Holy Communion at the same time as their baptism have their First Reconciliation prior to First Holy Communion. But how can it be confirmed to one’s bishop that First Reconciliation took place for a particular person or group without violating the seal of confession? Does the priest just confirm that, for the purposes of satisfying that rule, the person or groups has had instruction and the opportunity to confess? Or does he have to confirm that the person confessed something? How does that work?
 
Does the priest just confirm that, for the purposes of satisfying that rule, the person or groups has had instruction and the opportunity to confess?
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Yes, that is what happens. Unlike baptism and confirmation, the pastor basically takes someone’s word that they have made their first confession.
 
EasterJoy said:
You know, I’ve always kind of wondered about this. The pastors are supposed to make certain that anyone not receiving their First Holy Communion at the same time as their baptism have their First Reconciliation prior to First Holy Communion. But how can it be confirmed to one’s bishop that First Reconciliation took place for a particular person or group without violating the seal of confession? Does the priest just confirm that, for the purposes of satisfying that rule, the person or groups has had instruction and the opportunity to confess? Or does he have to confirm that the person confessed something? How does that work?
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You first idea is correct. The person or child is instructed in the Sacrament, and the theology and then given sufficient opportunity to receive the Sacrament. NO RECORD is ever supposed to be made of First Reconciliation.
 
EasterJoy said:
You know, I’ve always kind of wondered about this. The pastors are supposed to make certain that anyone not receiving their First Holy Communion at the same time as their baptism have their First Reconciliation prior to First Holy Communion. But how can it be confirmed to one’s bishop that First Reconciliation took place for a particular person or group without violating the seal of confession? Does the priest just confirm that, for the purposes of satisfying that rule, the person or groups has had instruction and the opportunity to confess? Or does he have to confirm that the person confessed something? How does that work?
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In my parish, how it works is we provide the training for First Confession. We keep an attendance record for the purposes of ensuring that the kids know how to do this, but then when the day comes, no record is kept of who actually went to Confession, and nobody is ever turned away for First Holy Communion (since they may have made their First Confession elsewhere, or else they may not have had anything to confess - after all, those kids are pretty young).
 
Great Junebug!

However, I have a question.

When I went through RCIA, just this past Easter, my Priest did a face to face confession, it was documented and I had to sign something stating that I was not converting against my will.

My question to everyone:…now, how will Junebug prove that she made a First Confession?

And…as for an appointment being needed…maybe that was suppose to be the procedure for the RCIA group.

You know, I wanted to make confession the day I signed up for RCIA, I prayed for a year to be at peace with that Sacrament because it was keeping me from coming Home, however, my heart was contrite, God knew that I wanted to confess, therefore, I held out for the big day, the appointment date.

God bless you junebugg!

Dana
 
I have a penance service for my RCIA group. It assures us that they went and also, since it is the first time the priest knows this and they kind of support each other. I invite my catechumens to attend and if they want, they can go talk to the priest just to get the hang of it. Of course they won’t be absolved and we tell them it isn’t necessary. We have only had positive feedback on this practice. The team also takes the opportunity to go to confession so we serve as a good example.
 
DJgang said:
Great Junebug!

However, I have a question.

When I went through RCIA, just this past Easter, my Priest did a face to face confession, it was documented and I had to sign something stating that I was not converting against my will.
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This is completely new to me, and I’m sure it would be forbidden in my Diocese.

I know for a fact that I was not allowed to ask Candidates whether they had been to Confession prior to being received into the Church when I was doing RCIA, and with my current First Reconciliation class for children, I will not be allowed to record attendance on the day that they actually go to Confession, at the end of the course. The only thing I can do (in either case) is strongly recommend that they go, and then trust that they did.
My question to everyone:…now, how will Junebug prove that she made a First Confession?
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She shouldn’t have to.
And…as for an appointment being needed…maybe that was suppose to be the procedure for the RCIA group.
Click to expand...
We (leaders) make an appointment with a group of priests to be available to hear Confessions at a certain place and time, and we let them know that the people coming are making their First Confession, but it’s not a specific appointment for specific people.

The group is then made aware that the priests are going to be there, and that they can avail themselves of that opportunity to make their First Confession, since the priests will be expecting them and ready to help them through it.

In my experience, most people come to the arranged event. You have the occasional person who has a favourite priest that they want to go to for their First Confession, and in those cases, my practice is to leave it up to them to make their own arrangements, and remind them that if things don’t work out the way they want (if “their” priest is not available for some reason), that the opportunity is being made available for them at the church at such and such a time and date.
 
DJgang said:
Great Junebug!

However, I have a question.

When I went through RCIA, just this past Easter, my Priest did a face to face confession, it was documented and I had to sign something stating that I was not converting against my will.

My question to everyone:…now, how will Junebug prove that she made a First Confession?

And…as for an appointment being needed…maybe that was suppose to be the procedure for the RCIA group.

You know, I wanted to make confession the day I signed up for RCIA, I prayed for a year to be at peace with that Sacrament because it was keeping me from coming Home, however, my heart was contrite, God knew that I wanted to confess, therefore, I held out for the big day, the appointment date.

God bless you junebugg!

Dana
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He does not have to and should not be asked to. If Catechized well he will understand the need to be in a state of Grace before receiving the other Sacraments. We required a statement or short letter stating that you were entering the Catholic Church on your own free will. But it was done during the few weeks before during the Tuesday sessions. No documentation of First Confession is to take place.
 
Joannm said:
I have a penance service for my RCIA group. It assures us that they went and also, since it is the first time the priest knows this and they kind of support each other. I invite my catechumens to attend and if they want, they can go talk to the priest just to get the hang of it. Of course they won’t be absolved and we tell them it isn’t necessary. We have only had positive feedback on this practice. The team also takes the opportunity to go to confession so we serve as a good example.
Click to expand...
Our RCIA Candidates are encouraged to attend the parish Reconciliation service along with hundereds of other members. We may see them there but never watch them actually go to Confession. They are also free to attend any other near-by parish Reconciliation service on other nights. And no they don’t have to bring back a note! lol.
 
Hi there – I went to Mass last night and my RCIA leaders were there and I told them what happened. They were disappointed I was not able to talk to our Priest, but they very much understood I had felt I needed to make the confession.

I would encourage anyone anytime anywhere if they feel a conviction to make a confession for mortal sin to always go to confession as soon as possible. I will never make an appointment for confession again. The RCIA leaders and our Priest know me and would take my word for it. By the way, they are taking my word about my Christian Baptism. I wrote out my profession of faith about my baptismal experience and the reason I do not have a witness (my Baptist family will not want to participate in being a witness to something that will assist me into the Catholic Church. My younger sister would since she is now coming to the Church also, but she was an infant the day of my baptism. I will be able to be her witness.)

So…the Church will take our word for certain things – to lie about a matter so serious I am sure would be a grave sin and a wise person will not lie about anything that has to do with their soul.

I am very happy. God Bless You for your responses.
 
jmcrae said:
This is completely new to me, and I’m sure it would be forbidden in my Diocese.

I know for a fact that I was not allowed to ask Candidates whether they had been to Confession prior to being received into the Church when I was doing RCIA, and with my current First Reconciliation class for children, I will not be allowed to record attendance on the day that they actually go to Confession, at the end of the course. The only thing I can do (in either case) is strongly recommend that they go, and then trust that they did.

She shouldn’t have to.

We (leaders) make an appointment with a group of priests to be available to hear Confessions at a certain place and time, and we let them know that the people coming are making their First Confession, but it’s not a specific appointment for specific people.

The group is then made aware that the priests are going to be there, and that they can avail themselves of that opportunity to make their First Confession, since the priests will be expecting them and ready to help them through it.

In my experience, most people come to the arranged event. You have the occasional person who has a favourite priest that they want to go to for their First Confession, and in those cases, my practice is to leave it up to them to make their own arrangements, and remind them that if things don’t work out the way they want (if “their” priest is not available for some reason), that the opportunity is being made available for them at the church at such and such a time and date.
Click to expand...
Br.Rich_SFO said:
He does not have to and should not be asked to. If Catechized well he will understand the need to be in a state of Grace before receiving the other Sacraments. We required a statement or short letter stating that you were entering the Catholic Church on your own free will. But it was done during the few weeks before during the Tuesday sessions. No documentation of First Confession is to take place.
Click to expand...
Thanks men…I was just curious. I didn’t know if there had to be proof or not…Since I was asked about my conversion being my own free will at the same time as my first confession, I didn’t know if the two go hand and hand…so I’ve learned something today.

God bless!

Dana
 
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