First Holy Communion and admonishing the sinner

  • Thread starter Thread starter gmarie21
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
G

gmarie21

Guest
So, a monsignor I know advised me that I need to talk to my brother (my dd’s godfather)about him not receiving the Holy Eucharist at my dd’s First Holy Communion (at our parish, the child, parents and siblings, and godparents go up with the child to receive the Eucharist). Yes, I made a bad decision in choosing him as a godfather 7 years ago, and have confessed so. Currently our relationship is strained and/or superficial. I asked my dad how he would suggest I go about bringing up my brother having to abstain from the Eucharist at this event and my dad told me quite harshly that it’s none of my business regarding my brother and the state he’s in in regards to the Eucharist. However, Monsignor by far knows what is right in this situation. Have any of you had to confront a family member prior to an even like this regarding abstaining from receiving the Eucharist? If so, how did you approach the subject? I am quite aware that this will create an even great strain on our relationship but I know that he is also not in the state to receive the Eucharist. And more importantly, my dd knows b/c she know that her cousins (his children) do not go to mass unless their aunt or grandma takes them (I live about an hour away and don’t have the room in my vehicle to take my nephew and niece).
 
gmarie21 said:
So, a monsignor I know advised me that I need to talk to my brother (my dd’s godfather)about him not receiving the Holy Eucharist at my dd’s First Holy Communion (at our parish, the child, parents and siblings, and godparents go up with the child to receive the Eucharist).
Click to expand...
If the priest knows that your brother should not be receiving Communion, he needs to have that conversation with your brother. Instead, he’s dropped you in middle of something - your brother’s sacramental life - that’s not your concern.

You need to have a talk with the priest ASAP.

Luna
 
Luna_Lovecraft said:
If the priest knows that your brother should not be receiving Communion, he needs to have that conversation with your brother. Instead, he’s dropped you in middle of something - your brother’s sacramental life - that’s not your concern.

You need to have a talk with the priest ASAP.

Luna
Click to expand...
He doesn’t even know my brother nor is the pastor or priest at my parish. Heck, the only people he knows from my family are my husband and children. I asked him what to do because of the fact that I know my brother’s situation and will have to face either having to 1) confront my brother lovingly and share what needs to be done; 2) exclude him from sitting with my dd, husband, children, and dd’s godmother; or 3) be silent and risk my soul by the sin of omission and/or not admonishing the sinner and thus causing scandal for my dd because she knows that missing mass is a mortal sin that needs to be confessed before receiving the Eucharist and she knows he does not attend mass.
 
If the priest is concerned shouldn’t he be the one to speak to the brother? Sounds like shirking his duties if you ask me.
 
I think the priest should tell the congregation from the altar what the conditions are for receiving communion during the holy communion mass. Then no one is singled out and each can look to his own heart to decide if he should receive or not.

And I think your brother should sit with the whole family.
 
Why don’t the children receive on their own, without family going up with them?..so to avoid these issues on who should or should not receive. Especially now with divorced and remarried parents, mixed marriages etc.

Why should people who cannot receive for whatever reason be put in the spotlight? 🤷

My dd will receive first, with the other children, then after all who can receive, may receive.
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
Why don’t the children receive on their own, without family going up with them?..so to avoid these issues on who should or should not receive. Especially now with divorced and remarried parents, mixed marriages etc.

Why should people who cannot receive for whatever reason be put in the spotlight? 🤷

My dd will receive first, with the other children, then after all who can receive, may receive.
Click to expand...
That’s what I was thinking. The whole family goes up? Is this a common practice? I’ve never been to a first Holy Communion, but I’ve always thought the children just go up together. That’s how they make it sound in the bulletins I’ve seen.
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
Why don’t the children receive on their own, without family going up with them?..so to avoid these issues on who should or should not receive. Especially now with divorced and remarried parents, mixed marriages etc.

Why should people who cannot receive for whatever reason be put in the spotlight? 🤷

My dd will receive first, with the other children, then after all who can receive, may receive.
Click to expand...
We are a very small parish (my dd is one of seven communicants in total for First Holy Communion in our parish and our diocese is more orthodox than others in the area). Heck, the First Holy Communion is during regular Sunday mass.
 
gmarie21 said:
He doesn’t even know my brother nor is the pastor or priest at my parish. Heck, the only people he knows from my family are my husband and children. I asked him what to do because of the fact that I know my brother’s situation and will have to face either having to 1) confront my brother lovingly and share what needs to be done; 2) exclude him from sitting with my dd, husband, children, and dd’s godmother; or 3) be silent and risk my soul by the sin of omission and/or not admonishing the sinner and thus causing scandal for my dd because she knows that missing mass is a mortal sin that needs to be confessed before receiving the Eucharist and she knows he does not attend mass.
Click to expand...
Like another poster said, the priest should make a general announcement vis-a-vis who should receive. That’s how it’s done at Masses I’ve attended where there may many non-Catholics and/or fallen away Catholics (weddings, etc.).

If your brother doesn’t know or understand the conditions under which he can take Communion, quietly and privately tell him. It’s then on him to decide if he’s fit to receive.

He should sit with the rest of his family no matter what.

Luna
 
I invited my parents to Christmas Mass just after I came back into the church, after being absent from it for almost 20 years.

My mom hasn’t attended Church for quite some time…but when she did she would go up and receive the Eucharist. No one had ever told her otherwise.

I was given the difficult task of explaining to her why she shouldn’t be receiving the Eucharist. I did it in the nicest way possible and let the topic go when she said she was going to do what she wanted. I didn’t know how else to go about it without disrespecting her. I simply brought up the fact that she hadn’t attended regular Mass since she was 18 and she hasn’t been to confession since her Marriage to my Dad, almost 30 years ago.

To my surprise, she stayed seated during Communion. I didn’t expect it at all. It might have had to do with the fact that I wouldn’t go up either.

I would say try to talk to your brother but don’t do it in a demoralizing way. I would also suggest that the Priest make it quite clear who is to receive communion and who isn’t.
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
Why don’t the children receive on their own, without family going up with them?..so to avoid these issues on who should or should not receive. Especially now with divorced and remarried parents, mixed marriages etc.

Why should people who cannot receive for whatever reason be put in the spotlight? 🤷

My dd will receive first, with the other children, then after all who can receive, may receive.
Click to expand...
It really depends on the parish. At my current parish, there isn’t even one specific Mass dedicated to First Holy Communion. The kids go to whichever weekend Mass they want, they sit with their families, and they come up to get communion at the same time as everyone else. Of course, there is a general announcement that “some children will be receiving First Holy Communion this weekend,” and the girls are all in their white dresses/boys in suits, but other than that everything is done just like a typical Sunday Mass.

I’ve seen it done where the kids sit with their families, but they are called up to receive Communion before the rest of the congregation. When I did my First Communion, all of us kids sat together at the front of the church and went up first for Communion. And I’ve seen it done many ways in between. 🤷

I do agree that the best way of handling it would be for the priest to make a general announcement about who can receive. Is there any sort of rehearsal? (Some parishes do them, some don’t.) If there is, this would be a perfect opportunity for the priest to go into more detail about who should/should not receive. Personally, I wouldn’t feel comfortable singling out any of my family members to tell them that they should/should not receive communion. If the priest has already made it apparent that he feels someone should not receive, then it is up to the priest to talk with that person, not ask another family member to do it.
 
ringil said:
If the priest is concerned shouldn’t he be the one to speak to the brother? Sounds like shirking his duties if you ask me.
Click to expand...
Fraternal correction is your duty and my duty and the duty of every Christian.
 
Fraternal correction certainly seems to be a favorite subject around CAF, that’s for sure.

I prefer to look at my own sin which is more than enough to keep me occupied.
 
ringil said:
Fraternal correction certainly seems to be a favorite subject around CAF, that’s for sure.

I prefer to look at my own sin which is more than enough to keep me occupied.
Click to expand...
Thing is, it is not either/or - it is both/and.

Read what our Holy Father wrote to us this Lent. It is stunning.
 
gmarie21 said:
Exactly!
Click to expand...
I have another question…how do you know your brother isn’t able to receive? Is he divorced and remarried? Or just not a practicing Catholic. Why not suggest he confess, or ask him to go to confession with you.

Or, you could simply not invite him to the Church.

DD’s Godmother is not coming, I don’t have enough room in my pew.
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
I have another question…how do you know your brother isn’t able to receive? Is he divorced and remarried? Or just not a practicing Catholic. Why not suggest he confess, or ask him to go to confession with you.

Or, you could simply not invite him to the Church.

DD’s Godmother is not coming, I don’t have enough room in my pew.
Click to expand...
He and his Catholic wife got married outside of the Church. They do not attend mass. And the last time my sister-in-law and I talked she informed me she’s on birthcontrol (in which I had told her about NFP, so I do not know that aspect of their life). When my brother does attend a mass (for weddings and funerals) he receives the Eucharist. I will suggest he attends confession and even tell him the confession times of the parishes in his town. I’m just trying to figure out how to “inform the ignorant” and “admonish the sinner” with true charity. I really am quite sad at the fact that my brother doesn’t embrace our all loving God. I feel sad for my niece and nephew too, that they are growing up not knowing who God is (though my dd and I both try to teach them when we do get to see them) nor how to pray.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top