First Holy Communion Mass

[EasterJoy]

…But you know what? The comments, except for mine and one other person’s were all “Wasn’t this so much better than before?” Where in this zoo was the idea of the parents as the primary catechists?

I’ll say I’m not surprised, feel thankful that the children making their FHC haven’t yet been enlisted as EMsHC in honor of their “big day”, and leave it at that.

(On that note, does anyone know how to say “oy vey” in Latin? )

 

[EasterJoy]

Lex orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi. The rule of worship is the rule of belief is the rule of life. The most important day of the rest of your life ought to be remarkable in how absolutely solemn and reverent it is. That ought to be the beauty of it, that the children are recognized as having reached the age where they are as capable of deep reverence towards the Blessed Sacrament as any adult. If First Holy Communion Sunday is any different from any other Sunday, it ought to be in a heightened sense of solemnity and reverence toward the Eucharist.

A person cannot carry the desire that life revolve around herself and be happy. That attitude is incompatible with joy. It is incompatible with real love. It is incompatible with the virtues in general. It is incompatible with the way life actually works. Therefore, to teach a child to want to be the center of attention is to lead her into a life of frustration and disappointment. I don’t mean that a child should be taught to flee the limelight at all costs, but that learning to be content with a realistic amount of attention, to neither seek notoriety nor to fear it unduly, is a great gift.

OTOH, children deserve to be taught reverence. They deserve to learn that they are capable of it, that their sense of reverence is both right and important in the life of the Church, and that awe of God and deep love of God are entirely compatible, because both truly reflect Who God Is. When children get “Children’s Masses” that are not Masses whose content has been written with their vocabularies in mind, but rather vapid circuses that revolve around them, that neglect the virtues in favor of rituals that are memorable for their spectacle, it cheats the kids. Honestly, I think “Children’s Masses” like that prime young people to fall away from the faith, because ultimately the thirst for novelty is one that can never be appeased. I think they are not only not harmless, but create a recipe for disappointment and frustration later.

I must politely disagree with you in some aspects of using the children’s liturgy during First Holy Communion. What better way to show the children that they indeed are part of the Body of Christ than to have them serving the Lord, whether it be as a reader or bringing up the gifts. If you don’t want to listen to the child read, I suggest that you tune them out while reading the Scripture by yourself. Now, I will say that last week at my parish’s First Holy Communion Mass, it was distracting, but that was because the parents refuse to disipline their children when they act up in Mass. We had children crying and running up and down the aisles during Mass. The First Communicants were wonderful (with the exception of two, but that’s because they really don’t attend Mass- don’t even get me started on that.) Parents should not be afraid to use the cry room!

Back to the point at hand, we come to Mass to worship God. The First Communicants were doing just that. Why should we let our hardened hearts stop them from doing just that? If it truly bothers you, attend a different church.

Children old enough to make their FHC are not too young to learn that the role of lector ought to be reserved a) for fully initiated Catholics and b) Catholics who are fully capable of proclaiming the readings in the most excellent way. If there is a child who meets that description (as some are confirmed by their FHC, due to unusual circumstances), fine. Otherwise, the standards shouldn’t be lowered in order to give First Communicants a central place that they really don’t need in order to have a day whose message carries over for the rest of their lives.

“What better way to show the children that they indeed are part of the Body of Christ than to have them serving the Lord, whether it be as a reader or bringing up the gifts?”

And what about next Sunday, and the one after that and after that and after that, when they are “only” participating as a layperson in the pew, with no “special role”? I think a better way to show them that they are “indeed part of the Body of Christ” is to emphasize the incredible importance of receiving the Body and Blood of the Lord reverently, worthily, and with an open heart. The whole day ought to be about how nothing whatsoever needs to be added to that, that that is the ultimate, that doing that well brings us excellently into what is the source and summit of the Christian life. Do that the first time, and then the carry-over to the next Sunday and the one after that will be quite a different story, IMHO.

I think the carry-over to next Sunday, next year, and throughout life is what needs to be kept central. That is why the day is important, after all.

 

[Elizabeth502]

cothrige:

Our regular Masses are packed with abuse from start to finish/I], but this goes too far for me. I simply cannot sit through a mockery of our Lord in that way. I hate children’s Masses and we intentionally do not attend them, and I resent being forced to do so now. The parish, as I see it, is using my children as tools in extorting me into participation in something I morally and ethically oppose.

If I felt this strongly about the parish, my children would not be attending CCD, school (if there is one), or First Communion prep there, nor would I be attending Mass there. Why are you still a member of this parish?

 

[Elizabeth502]

Clarifying what I just posted:

Like some others, I do not necessarily agree with you, OP, that children, in participating in a child-response-centered liturgy, are not experiencing Jesus. Children experience God according to their developmental readiness to experience and understand him. Some children are more precocious and more aware than other children are, but no child is going to have the kind of adult understanding of theology, prayer, and liturgy that the standard liturgy is designed for. I haven’t obviously seen the preparation of these children in this parish to which you refer, but I have seen other children’s liturgies. Many are handled with reverence and sensitivity. Depends on the pastor and his cooperating liturgical committee, if any. It’s up to the presider of that sacrament to set the tone, and to communicate to the parents as well, what his intentions are, and how he believes the young communicants will best be served by his approach.

If I had questions or concerns I would direct them to the pastor and no one else. But my earlier post still holds: if I felt this strongly as you seem to, I don’t know how I could have been a participating member of that parish long enough to have my children inducted into sacraments, nor worship weekly there.

 

[EasterJoy]

Clarifying what I just posted:

Like some others, I do not necessarily agree with you, OP, that children, in participating in a child-response-centered liturgy, are not experiencing Jesus. Children experience God according to their developmental readiness to experience and understand him. Some children are more precocious and more aware than other children are, but no child is going to have the kind of adult understanding of theology, prayer, and liturgy that the standard liturgy is designed for. I haven’t obviously seen the preparation of these children in this parish to which you refer, but I have seen other children’s liturgies. Many are handled with reverence and sensitivity. Depends on the pastor and his cooperating liturgical committee, if any. It’s up to the presider of that sacrament to set the tone, and to communicate to the parents as well, what his intentions are, and how he believes the young communicants will best be served by his approach.

If I had questions or concerns I would direct them to the pastor and no one else. But my earlier post still holds: if I felt this strongly as you seem to, I don’t know how I could have been a participating member of that parish long enough to have my children inducted into sacraments, nor worship weekly there.

To add to what you’re saying: It is the nature of solemn ritual that it takes the heart where intellect alone cannot. There were centuries in which a great many of the faithful never learned to read and write, and in which the Mass took place out of their sight and in a language they did not hear. It did not keep them from experiencing Christ in Holy Communion, and experiencing Him very deeply. A person does not even have to be literate to “get” what Holy Communion is about. If anything, an over-anxious desire to wrap the intellect around the faith can be a handicap. Really: don’t you think it helps to know that this is a mystery beyond human understanding?

Personally, I think children of seven and eight are captured in their readiness for Eucharist just in the nick of time, before the over-analysis of Enlightenment philosophy takes over. In spite of societal prejudices to the contrary, the intellect is not the best tool when one wants to come to know the ineffable. By the time a person is in the middle of adolescence, though, very often either analysis becomes king or else outward glamour becomes queen. For the deepest things, the intellect gets in the way as often as not, at least until one is old enough for wisdom to catch up.

I also don’t have anything against pageantry. Pageantry can be a very good thing, when it truly heightens the ritual. My only problem is when pageantry trumps reverence by becoming an end in itself. Reverence and the virtues always have to come first.

 

[EasterJoy]

There are two more issues that just occurred to me.

One is this: what might be beyond the emotional readiness of a child is to unreservedly open herself to her First Holy Communion and our ultimate sacrament of unity in a situation where her parents have reservations. Even if they try to hide it, she is going to pick up on that. Her mom and dad can appreciate the subtlety that the experience is fully valid even when they have issues with it, but it is much to be desired that the child can easily see her experience as one that the parents also find deeply edifying. If it is at all possible, it is ideal to give her that.

The other is this: many priests feel very strongly that it is the great and right privelege of the pastor to administer First Holy Communion to the children in his flock. I have heard that John Paul II even refused to give FHC to a child on these grounds, saying that he would be entirely happy to be the one to minister the child’s second time.

Maybe talking directly to the pastor about these two points would help. Sometimes, families can’t be there for the “big” day in the parish, or maybe others feel the same way. It might possibly arranged for those families to have First Holy Communion for their children on the Feast of the Body and Blood of the Lord, with no arrangements made except giving their families seats in the front and center on that Sunday.

 

[Angelic_Rose]

After reading through a few posts in the thread, I know very good advice has already been offered to you. I believe that many of us would applaud you for standing up for what you see is wrong and I pray that you would find the words and strength to share your thoughts with the priest/priests in your parish. They NEED to know— I know that though I have a liberal priest at my church, he’d want to hear your thoughts. I can only pray and hope yours would be as willing and as open.

May I also applaud you for caring about your children’s faith. Too many parents probably have no clue about the abuses that are happening— too many believe that the people who are teaching your children know it all and they (the parents) don’t have to do anything. Please go further with your children’s learning and teach them the Bible, teach them the Catechism, read to them about faith, read to them the works of the Saints— let your faith in God shine brightly in their hearts.

I am so thankful for the faith my own Mother gave me as a young child— she might not have been right in all things (she is this odd mix of Christian, JW’s, and some other stuff) but she clearly loves God and that was passed on to me. If it wasn’t for her (and a few others God brought into my life) I would not have this relationship I have with the Lord now.

While frustrating, see this as a step in the faithful life of your kids— its not the beginning steps and it won’t be the ending steps. You have been given the chance to bring them closer to God with every day He has blessed them on this earth. Each day you have a new opportunity to teach them, so please teach them every day.

 

[Elizabeth502]

Excellent reply, #45.

Reverence and the child’s understanding are not mutually exclusive.

The only irreverent/casual First Communions I have seen or heard about were situated at parishes in which adult liturgies were also irresponsibly casual/irreverent. (Hence my earlier comments to the OP.)

 

[EasterJoy]

Excellent reply, #45.

Reverence and the child’s understanding are not mutually exclusive.

The only irreverent/casual First Communions I have seen or heard about were situated at parishes in which adult liturgies were also irresponsibly casual/irreverent. (Hence my earlier comments to the OP.)

Yes, it makes sense that this would be the pattern, although perhaps not the rule.

 

[ZDHayden]

Wow… at my parish all that is asked of the children for their first Communion is that the priest introduces them to the parish, and that they receive the Eucharist first. Personally, I would not recommend going to another parish, if your parish is home in every aspect but that. I would instead recommend you discuss your concerns with the priest. I am unfamiliar with the children’s liturgy, as my diocese recommends against its use during Mass, as, from what I have been informed of, it leaves out quite a bit of the depth. I hope this helps.

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

They will be expected to read, carry up the gifts, sing songs in the choir (I think this part may be other children than those receiving first communion though), read the prayers, and so on. It is ridiculous.

I am unaware of any parish that does 1st communion differently than you listed above. I have never seen nor heard of a 1st communion in the past 25 years that doesn’t have some of the children read the readings and the prayer of the faithful as well as bring up the gifts. And many parishes use their children’s choir (minus 1st communicates) for the 1st communion mass.

I have been told, though, that this will be a “children’s liturgy” which means the kids have to do these things. It also means that nothing will be done to any proper standard, as I know from experience.

Well, how “proper” it is done depends on how well the children are trained.

I simply cannot sit through a mockery of our Lord in that way.

“Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

The parish, as I see it, is using my children as tools in extorting me into participation in something I morally and ethically oppose.

I’m not quite sure what is morally or ethically wrong with a children’s Mass done according to the proper liturgical guidelines.

Right now I have to say that this situation has begun to tear my faith to the core.

Its one Mass and I’m not sure you’re find much different elsewhere when it comes to 1st communion.

Do I have to take them to this particular Mass? Are they required to receive their first Communion from their parish priest, or can they receive at any parish like any Catholic? At which point are my children considered prepared, and who technically decides this? Basically, what are the rules about first Holy Communion as opposed to Communion?

Technically no, you don’t have to attend this Mass. You can request your child receive 1st communion at a normal Sunday or weekday Mass in the regular communion line.

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

Believe me, I have more concern for my children than you or the people at my parish do. My anger is exactly because these people insist that they know what is best for my children and that I do not. They, and you, are wrong.

OK, you know what’s best for your child. I’m sure you could ask that your children not be readers or gift bearers. That would be the end of the problem.

As for other people’s children and their ability to appreciate and prepare for the sacrament and be readers/gift bearers, it would be hypocritical to insist you know what’s best for their children, would it not?

 

[CAnnElizabeth]

If your resentment toward the celebrations in this parish are keeping you from the sacraments and making you ill with the thought of your children receiving their First Communion there, this certainly can’t be a good place for your family. Your children will notice, if they haven’t already, that you’re unhappy with the whole situation and it will affect their attitudes in the long run.

If you feel your kids have been properly prepared, then I agree with the person who said to arrange for them to receive Holy Communion at a regular Sunday mass.

However, is it possible that they will miss the culmination of their preparation with their friends, and will they miss the festive day they’ve been planning for? Maybe this one day it isn’t about your feelings about the parish but about them and their union with Jesus.

I don’t care for children’s liturgies either, but mostly because they’re noisy and chaotic. I attended my grandchildren’s First Communion celebrations, though, which sound very similar to the one your children are preparing for and thought they were wonderful.

I don’t think you’re “locked into” this celebration. If your kids were genuinely ill on that day, other arrangements would have to be made – it can’t be a do or die situation.

I’m sorry you’re so upset about what should be a wonderful day for all of you.

 

[Elizabeth502]

If your resentment toward the celebrations in this parish are keeping you from the sacraments and making you ill with the thought of your children receiving their First Communion there, this certainly can’t be a good place for your family. Your children will notice, if they haven’t already, that you’re unhappy with the whole situation and it will affect their attitudes in the long run.

Not surprisingly, I agree with this.

I don’t care for children’s liturgies either, but mostly because they’re noisy and chaotic.

That’s certainly unfortunate, but also not a surprise to me. I have found exactly one priest who did children’s liturgies as truly children’s events, but kept a handle on crowd control. What happened was that parents sat nearby (behind), and the children were quite aware of that firm presence. They were not pull-out “liturgy of the Word” partitioned events, but children’s Masses from beginning to end, with a homily that made the gospel intelligible. We often went to these even after my children were very young – when they were young teens and pre-teens – because there was a teen presence there, and because the priest handled it all so reverently and with such appropriate inclusion. This was not that long ago, but that priest has now moved on to a more influential position, and I have asked him to make sure that seminarians get trained in how to do this the right way (as he did). As I’m sure you’ll agree, they do have to be well-planned, or they could easily descend into chaos, and will.

Did it fully satisfy all my spiritual/liturgical hungers? No. There were times when I wanted a more adult experience (weekdays, other times), but as a regular family event, they were excellent. And there was nothing in them that could be classified as liturgical abuse (a concern of the OP).

 

[cmom4]

Easterjoy!!! You’ve said EXACTLY what I also think (but couldn’t put in to words.)
It is so nice to hear it said in a loving, respectful way too. You are RIGHT ON! (IMO)

 

[Famule]

Look, I understand you are trying to be helpful, but you are missing the point. You have never been to a children’s liturgy here. And even if you had been to one here it doesn’t nullify why I don’t like going to them. You may like what happens here for all I know, but it doesn’t mean I do. But, I have tried to tell you what these things turn into here, and you don’t believe me. We really do have “Mary Had a Little Lamb” as a communion hymn for our children’s choir, and they sing it every Christmas. I am not kidding or exaggerating. I don’t feel comfortable with my children being subjected to such an atmosphere for their first Communion. I know my kids, I know what they are comfortable with and not, and I can tell you what they have been told in class about this Mass has caused them distress. Also, the Mass you were in may have been beautiful, but how does that help me? Please tell me how a beautiful Mass in another place makes my situation any different?

One other thing. My biggest problem with these shenanigans, and that is what they become here every time, is the thing you say above. Masses are not “about children” but Jesus. I want my children to be in a Mass that is about Jesus and not them or other children. They should be able to receive Communion in a setting focussed on the Lord and not all the people in the pews. All Masses should be vertical in worship and not horizontal, and I am uncomfortable in these horizontal Masses. Here locally I can guarantee you that they are not a little about the children, they are absolutely a circus and I am very uncomfortable about it. Why couldn’t my children receive First Communion in a Mass like other Masses. You seem focussed on how much I dislike children’s Masses, but rather I wonder why people dislike Masses so much that they feel so convinced a child cannot possibly be communicated in one without apparent grave damage to their faith. If they aren’t in a Mass all about them then somehow that “cancels” out their communion?

What part of what state do you live in? I won’t ask the specific city. You need to find a Traditional Latin Mass. We finally left our Novus Ordo parish. We have not had problems with abuses since. Only when we go to Novus Ordo parishes. I am not saying that all Novus Ordo parishes have abuses. I am just saying I have been safe and sound in my traditional parish. It is very comforting.

 

[cmom4]

Has your FHC happened yet? This thread has been ongoing for a while now and it is FHC time…I am wondering what decisions you have made for your children being a part of the ceremony at your parish. It’s possible I’ve missed some posts so I apologize if you’ve already told everyone your final decision but I have prayed for you about this situation and I’d like to know where you stand.
I will continue to pray…
God Bless.
cmom4

 

[Malkin71]

Based on my own personal experiences, I have sadly discovered that sometimes, Holy Week and sacramental liturgies (FHC, Confirmation and Weddings) wind up turning into hotbeds of abuse and experimentation.

While I was at our cathedral, the rector made it a point to not have the children do anything other than focus on the sacrament they were about to receive. Sadly, in many cases, when we get the kids to serve as lectors, cantors, gift-bearers and such, it does manage to take something away from what they are about to be doing. These activities suddenly become photo-ops for the parents, grandparents and other relatives. “See how cute my child looks” is what the families tend to look at and then the reception of the sacrament itself becomes an after-thought.

The children are nervous enough as it is about receiving First Holy Communion. To compound other activities into what is supposed to be a very important day in their spiritual life is not a good thing in my opinion. Let the catechists serve as the lectors and, if there is already a children’s choir in place, let them handle the cantoring and the singing.

The rector also geared his homily more towards the parents because they are their children’s first teachers in the Faith. While he addressed the kids briefly, he reminded the parents of their sacramental obligations to their children.

Regarding photos, we had the practice of allowing only the contracted photographer to take pictures, not parents and other relatives. This reduced the paparazzi atmosphere that tends to pervade these liturgies. If the parents wanted pictuers, they could do so after the Mass.

I know exactly what you mean. I was a sponsor for my nephew for his Confirmation. The instructor I did not care for. When my class was preparing for 8th Grade Confirmation we were drilled on our Catholic Faith. We were studying for questions that the Bishop will ask. I was a sponsor for a fellow class mate. I was Confirmed when I was Baptized.

For my nephew, I was at two meetings. Both were at Church. What irked me is that how watered down everything was. The instructor kept refering to a statue of the risen Lord, with his hand in the air as, “High Five Jesus”! The other was that our Assistant Bishop was the one who was going to be Confirming the canidates. The instructor said “The Bishop uses you as chalk. He does not ask you questions he may ask and help you with a reply.”

I am think in my mind how is this going to show if the Canidates know thier Faith?
Also, I like to know how the gifts of the Holy Spirit, “Wisdom, Knowledge, Councel, Piety, Fear of the Lord, Understanding, Fortitude” become names I do not recall. I am saying this is because when The instructor ask to name the 7 Gifts she said sponsors can reply to. So I answered. When I did she mention that they are now refered to as. Aslo, when I metioned the Sacrament of Penance she replied it is now known as Recconcillation.

This is why the laity get confused about the Faith. The words change and when the right words are used people get confused!