First Holy Communion

[JOL]

I wanted to ask for your thoughts on something. When I had my children, I was fallen away from the Church. Last year I came back to the Church, and want to get my children right in the Church as well. In our parish they don’t have and RCIC program for young children that haven’t been catechized before, so they said my daughters had to be in CCD for the year, which they have done. On June 26 they were Baptized (at ages 10 and 11) and in the coming weeks they will have their first confession and receive their first Holy Communion.

I was planning on having them dress nicely, but not like when I received my first Communion and wore and actual “first communion dress w/ veil.”

So, as I said, I am planning on having them dress nicely (dresses), do you think I should also have them wear a chapel veil or some type of veil to cover their heads for the first time? It will be only them two receiving their First Holy Communion at that particular Mass. What is your thoughts?

 

[dashso40]

At my son’s first communion, there were some 11 year old girls making their first communion and they wore white dresses without veils…

 

[JOL]

At my son’s first communion, there were some 11 year old girls making their first communion and they wore white dresses without veils…

Hmmm…I wonder if they even wear veils during the normal first Communion now? I am only 31 so it wasn’t that long since I had mine done, and we were dressed like little brides.

 

[Sr_Sally]

I am glad you are planning to have them dress nicely but not in white dresses, gloves, etc. I personally feel that the practice is a bit out of hand with the girls looking like minibrides in dresses and veils covered with seed pearls and the like. If you want a headcovering, please consider a small chapel veil in a color to match their hair or perhaps a wide headband or bow.

First Holy Communion is a precious time, but so is every communion we receive. Continue to teach them the beauty of Mass and appropriate reverant behavior. I sigh when I see children dressed to the nines for First Holy Communion and then wearing shorts and flip-flops of their second and subsequent communions.

 

[JOL]

I am glad you are planning to have them dress nicely but not in white dresses, gloves, etc. I personally feel that the practice is a bit out of hand with the girls looking like minibrides in dresses and veils covered with seed pearls and the like. If you want a headcovering, please consider a small chapel veil in a color to match their hair or perhaps a wide headband or bow.

First Holy Communion is a precious time, but so is every communion we receive. Continue to teach them the beauty of Mass and appropriate reverant behavior. I sigh when I see children dressed to the nines for First Holy Communion and then wearing shorts and flip-flops of their second and subsequent communions.

Interesting that you should say this. When I had my first Communion, I had to carry candles down the isle of the Church and had my veil on and the whole nine…well, my veil went into the candle flame and caught on fire. I didn’t notice it and neither did anyone except this one kind woman that ran up the isle and was clapping her hands on my veil. I was like, what in the world is she doing???

I am glad my daughters won’t have to worry about that. Being that they have been going to Mass for a year now they are getting used to what happens during Mass, but I am going to practice with them so they are comfortable with going up the isle as they will be the first ones in line on that Sunday. Oh, they are going to get their first Communion during a normal Sunday Mass.

I was also thinking they had to wear a veil as I had to. But now that I know they do not, I think I will get them something smaller so they won’t feel so self-conscious as they already will.

But you are so right, it isn’t just the first time that is special and important, but every time.

 

[Sr_Sally]

Interesting that you should say this. When I had my first Communion, I had to carry candles down the isle of the Church and had my veil on and the whole nine…well, my veil went into the candle flame and caught on fire. I didn’t notice it and neither did anyone except this one kind woman that ran up the isle and was clapping her hands on my veil. I was like, what in the world is she doing???

I am glad my daughters won’t have to worry about that. Being that they have been going to Mass for a year now they are getting used to what happens during Mass, but I am going to practice with them so they are comfortable with going up the isle as they will be the first ones in line on that Sunday. Oh, they are going to get their first Communion during a normal Sunday Mass.

I was also thinking they had to wear a veil as I had to. But now that I know they do not, I think I will get them something smaller so they won’t feel so self-conscious as they already will.

But you are so right, it isn’t just the first time that is special and important, but every time.

Oh MY! What a story! I am so glad you weren’t injured by the flame in your veil!

I also wore the white dress and veil (I don’t remember candles), but I know my dress (and those of the other girls) was much simplier than those I see for sale these days.

It sounds like a long veil, etc will just make your daughters self-conscious and cause them to focus more on their discomfort than on the glory of receiving Our Lord. I will be praying for them!

 

[Joannm]

I wanted to ask for your thoughts on something. When I had my children, I was fallen away from the Church. Last year I came back to the Church, and want to get my children right in the Church as well. In our parish they don’t have and RCIC program for young children that haven’t been catechized before, so they said my daughters had to be in CCD for the year, which they have done. On June 26 they were Baptized (at ages 10 and 11) and in the coming weeks they will have their first confession and receive their first Holy Communion.

I was planning on having them dress nicely, but not like when I received my first Communion and wore and actual “first communion dress w/ veil.”

So, as I said, I am planning on having them dress nicely (dresses), do you think I should also have them wear a chapel veil or some type of veil to cover their heads for the first time? It will be only them two receiving their First Holy Communion at that particular Mass. What is your thoughts?

May I ask why they did not receive Communion when they were baptized? DId they receive Confirmation?

 

[JOL]

May I ask why they did not receive Communion when they were baptized? DId they receive Confirmation?

They are not old enough for confirmation yet.

My priest didn’t want to do it all at once. He wanted to baptize them, then wait a few weeks, then have their first penance and Communion.

Don’t ask me why?

 

[Phemie]

They are not old enough for confirmation yet.

My priest didn’t want to do it all at once. He wanted to baptize them, then wait a few weeks, then have their first penance and Communion.

Don’t ask me why?

It doesn’t make any sense. Why baptize them, washing them clean of all sin, then make them wait a few weeks, insisting that they go to confession and THEN giving them Communion?

It sounds to me that he doesn’t know about RCIA and how children over the age of 7 are to be treated like adults when being received in the Church. If they are catechumens, as your children were, it should happen at the Easter Vigil. Yes, although it is not the ideal, Confirmation may be delayed but they should have received Communion in the same ceremony as they were baptized.

 

[zab]

It would be very appropriate if your girls wanted to wear a white dress and veil. But it is not required. And since they are the only two making their first Communion, it really doesn’t matter. But they should wear their best. I would not have them wear a chapel veil unless they wanted to.

In our parish, those who make their First Communion as a group (average age is 7) are not required to wear the white dress and veil, but most if not all do.

 

[zab]

They are not old enough for confirmation yet.

My priest didn’t want to do it all at once. He wanted to baptize them, then wait a few weeks, then have their first penance and Communion.

Don’t ask me why?

It is possible that your priest wants your daughters to have an appreciation for each sacrament and that is why he is doing them separately.

 

[Joannm]

It is possible that your priest wants your daughters to have an appreciation for each sacrament and that is why he is doing them separately.

That might be a reason but that is not following the rites of the Church. I find it odd that some priests are sticklers for many things but when it comes to RCIA they make up their own rules. The poster’s children should have received all three sacraments of initiation at the same time.

 

[pickguard1]

That might be a reason but that is not following the rites of the Church. I find it odd that some priests are sticklers for many things but when it comes to RCIA they make up their own rules. The poster’s children should have received all three sacraments of initiation at the same time.

This is correct, since the catechization should have included learning about all the Sacraments of Initiation, just as any adult Catechumen would have received. Since the children are beyond the age of reason (which is the only disciplinary barrier to receiving Communion and Confirmation in the Latin Church), they should have received all three at the same time. Naturally, first confession would not have been necessary right after baptism (and may still be unnecessary, since they were baptized only a few weeks ago).