First love

[Gabriella88]

Hi everyone,

I’m a relatively new Catholic (was baptized last year). My first love was actually the person who led me to Christ. If I had never met him, there’s no way I would have become Catholic. We are no longer together and I absolutely trust that this is indeed God’s will. My current situation is the following: I’ve been approached by guys who are interested in dating me but I always inevitably turn them down because I compare them to my first love and they all fall short. I don’t know why I do this (it’s almost like a natural instinct) and I have prayed to God for a healthier, comparison-free attitude. Even though I feel called to marriage, I don’t think I will ever actually find a husband at this rate because I know I should be reserving my whole heart for my future husband. I wonder whether anybody has had a similar experience and can offer some strategies to overcome this hurdle? Essentially, my mind has learned to let go but I think my heart has yet to catch up.

In Christ,

Gabriella

 

[Jerbear]

This is just my personal opinion but at least to me it sounds as if you’re not over your relationship with your first love yet. I know when my relationship ended with my first love I tended to only look at the good things about her and I inflated what we had and her. It’s a natural thing to do, however. I think you must need time and to take it slowly with whoever you meet and you might have to take a chance with someone who you feel makes you happy and who seems to put you in a better mood when you talk to or are with him. I wish you good luck, it can be difficult to fully let go of your first love.

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

If this guy was your first true love, and you compare all others to this guy,
Then don’t feel bad,try and keep a high standard, their are many fish in the sea,
I would guess your relatively young, just remember ,truck loads of people make a wrong choice in their life partner, and have regrets, so,try not to be one,
Try and join perhaps a church choir ,or youth group,somewhere where their are like minded people like yourself, good luck…God Bless

 

[kb360]

I’m sorry, I know how that feels, but don’t worry, many people have experienced what you have been through and ended up just fine, so you have nothing to worry about.

The other two posters have made great points, and you should definitely take their pieces of advice. I just wanted to add that you should be careful because there are many guys out there that will be interested in you, but at the same time, try to not shut down a guy when he attempts to court you simply because you’re still fixated on your first love. You might pass up someone truly special that God has placed in front of you. Just try to be open to the idea of dating when you come across a great guy.

 

[Della]

Hi everyone,

I’m a relatively new Catholic (was baptized last year). My first love was actually the person who led me to Christ. If I had never met him, there’s no way I would have become Catholic. We are no longer together and I absolutely trust that this is indeed God’s will. My current situation is the following: I’ve been approached by guys who are interested in dating me but I always inevitably turn them down because I compare them to my first love and they all fall short. I don’t know why I do this (it’s almost like a natural instinct) and I have prayed to God for a healthier, comparison-free attitude. Even though I feel called to marriage, I don’t think I will ever actually find a husband at this rate because I know I should be reserving my whole heart for my future husband. I wonder whether anybody has had a similar experience and can offer some strategies to overcome this hurdle? Essentially, my mind has learned to let go but I think my heart has yet to catch up.

In Christ,

Gabriella

I can understand what you are going through because I went through something quite similar when I was in my 20’s. :console: Give yourself some time to get over this person. It took me quite a while to even consider dating again. But, in time, the hurt faded and I got on with my life. God will guide you, but just now your emotions are clogging your head and heart. So, let things be for now. At the right time and right place God will bring the right person to you if that is his will for your life.