First time dads

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CatholicSamurai

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Hello to all dads out there…

I was recently married… (Last December) and I just found out yesterday that I’m going to be a father. A rollercoaster of emotions filled me… but the more I gave the news out, the more joyful I felt. I just want to know what you, men, felt when you found out for the first time that you’re going to be dads… 👍
 
My husband told me that when I first told him it felt like his stomach sank to his feet with the immediate shock and then skyrocketed out of his body with the excitement.

As the mom-to-be, I could totally see this on his face. First, this dumbfounded expression and then this huge, happy grin. It was amazing!

Sorry, I’m not a dad, but thought it would be okay if I shared my dh’s point of view. :o
 
Not a dad either…but a first-time mom :). Our baby is due in April and is a honeymoon baby :D.

I can say my husband was more excited than I was when we first found out…mainly because I was worried about how we were going to afford this baby, but that quickly went away :). He’s still floored and gets more and more excited! He reads to the baby sometimes now and we’re doing Bradley birthing (which is called husband-coaching) so he really feels like he’s got a major part in the birth part :).
 
Congratulations! What a great way to start 2007, hey? My husband was still in college when we married and conceived. He told me that for a few days he couldn’t concentrate on his classes at *all *😛 We also waited for a couple of months before telling most people, and it was fun to have this as our little secret. He’d make vague comments about the pregnancy that people who didn’t know, wouldn’t take as being about a pregnancy.
 
I can only hope that my fiance will be excited as you are when I get pregnant. Congratulations! 😃
 
CatholicSamurai said:
I just want to know what you, men, felt when you found out for the first time that you’re going to be dads… 👍
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Congratulations !!

I just had my fifth…and I think with the more you have the more the joy and love increases! With my first, it was a rollercoaster of emotions based on all the changes that were needed …need more money, job schedules had to change, school schedules had to change, fears of inadequate parenting… & on and on and on… The worrying can make you crazy…

But believe it or not, God made us perfect for the job ahead of you! Trust in him, Love your wife & Love your child and all else will fall into place!

Good Luck!

Sincerely in Christ,
Corrgc
 
Not the initial response, but once she was here, dh said it was like falling in love all over again. --KCT
 
When my wife told me the first time she woke me up, so right there I wasn’t really into it.

It was a complete surprise and we were waiting for a little bit just because we were both in school still and rather young for today’s standard.

So when she told me, I was floored. I thought great God now wants me to be a father too! And I didn’t really know how to handle it. It took me a couple of days to finally get excited, so unlike some of these other stories I was petrified for a few days.

Then when we had our second it was like the Simpsons when Homer finds out that they’re going to have Maggie. If anyone has ever seen that episode homer finally quits his job, gets his dream job in the bowling alley which pays less but he can finally afford to make less and calls Marge on the phone and says “Everything is perfect!” next scene is Dr. Hiburt saying “congratulations”.

It was the same thing with me. I was over in Jacksonville, and I was visiting a friend for the weekend and we were just having a blast, going to football games, etc. I talked to my wife and was telling her how happy I was and just how comfortable everything seems and I don’t want it to change. She says “oh” and hangs up, then calls me back in tears saying she’s pregnant.

So both of our circumstances were not what most people here have, but that’s God’s way of waking you up!

P.s. while in the car to Jax that weekend I was listening to EWTN and one of hosts was talking about praying to St. Joseph. He said “I guarantee you, if you don’t believe that St. Joseph can change you life, just say a prayer to him and ask him to challenge you, he’s up for it!”

So I turned the radio off, and said a prayer to St. Joseph, to challenge me to make me a better father. Well that was his response the next day! 🙂
 
corrgc said:
Congratulations !!

I just had my fifth…and I think with the more you have the more the joy and love increases! With my first, it was a rollercoaster of emotions based on all the changes that were needed …need more money, job schedules had to change, school schedules had to change, fears of inadequate parenting… & on and on and on… The worrying can make you crazy…

But believe it or not, God made us perfect for the job ahead of you! Trust in him, Love your wife & Love your child and all else will fall into place!

Good Luck!

Sincerely in Christ,
Corrgc
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Thank you for all the wonderful insight. I have to admit… one of those emotions is worry. I also have fears of being inadequate. All I can really do is trust in God.

I will love my wife and child even if they’re halfway across the globe right now. Not that we wanted it this way. Just the circumstances… I just hope in the Lord that we will all be together here someday.

I did pray to St. Joseph before I got married. To me, he’s the model husband/father for us on earth.

And please pray for me because I am looking for greener pastures at work now that I am a family man. I just sent my application and I hope I get considered. 👍
 
Congratulations!!

I’m not a first time dad or mom 😉 but I know my FH will be the same way…for ages now he gets all smiley and giddy with baby talk. It’s hilarious and very cute. I’m sure your wife appreciates your excitement. 👍
 
When my wife told me we were going to have a baby I was thrilled. My next thought was will I be a good dad? Then I thought will my baby love me. I prayed real hard and God put my mind to rest. My son is now three and when at church he tries to say the Our Father with us. Also, when we go to church he always asks if we are going to see Dios (spanish for God). I guess the best advise I have to say is make sure that God and Our Saviour Jesus Christ is in your home before and after your child is born. Pray with your child every night and you will see your child grow with God as well. Good Luck to you and your wife and God Bless. May your Home be filled with the sounds of running little feet soon.👍
 
All,

This is my first time using this site, so please understand if I don’t make sense.

I recently found out that my wife and I are unexpectedly pregnant! I am so scared and don’t know what to think. This is our first. We both work and don’t have family in the area for support. Any advice?

I ask anyone to please pray for us in this great time of change in our lives. Thank all of you and God Bless all of you.

Signed,
Worried in NE, PA
 
efriday said:
I recently found out that my wife and I are unexpectedly pregnant! I am so scared and don’t know what to think. This is our first. We both work and don’t have family in the area for support. Any advice?
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Greetings eFriday and Welcome to the Forums!

Remember your first time in Kindergarten? The first time you rode the bike without training wheels? Remember your first roller coaster? Your first kiss? Graduation night?

What do they all have in common: Fear! Fear! Fear! But all of that fear decipated into exhiliration. Believe it or not this worry and anxiety will give way to excitement and undescribable joy! It will not happen tomorrow, it will progress slowly over time. Soon you will learn that giving life is so much bigger than money, carer paths and fear of change.

Use your anxiety to prepare for your child. Calmly begin discussions with your spouse on what you need to do to support your child and begin making whatever necessary changes you require. Yes it may mean drastic changes - but be open-minded and take all your decisions to God through prayer. You do have family - you have a huge Catholic family! Inquire your church or diocese about programs for new parents. Hang around the day care after Mass and visit with other parents about their situations and suggestions.

Good Luck & Congratulations!

Sincerely in Christ,
Corrgc
 
I read this to my husband and he said, “A combination of excitement and terror.”

(Let me tell you this: it was the terror that I saw first on his face when he found out! But, given that he found out by intercepting me in the hallway after a noisy bout of morning sickness in the bathroom, I can’t say I blame him!😛 )
 
Congrats! I felt a mix of all the emotions as well. You’ll overdo things the first time out but figure it all out down the road, lol!

I’m about to be a third-time dad! Our first was planned but the second two have been little oopsies!😉 You’ll never feel like you’re doing all you can but in reality, you’ll probably be doing just fine. Just be VERY accommodating of you’re wife during the pregnancy and don’t buy too many of those expecting books. At first (well, for the first couple of years) I missed my free time a lot but now, I feel like I’m doing something soooo worthwhile in raising a family that I feel guilty for all the free time I spent doing nothing.

Regarding worries about being a good parent, my relationship with my own parents has improved 10000% since I’ve had my own family. I realized they may not have been as bad and stupid parents as I once may have thought…:o
 
it was 7am on a monday. my wife took the first pregnancy test and said “we’re pregnant”… and i we just looked at each other and the first thing that went through my mind was "get to whole foods, i need to make her a protein shake and make sure she’s getting enough flax oil and other sources of essential fatty acids… " then i thought about changing our diet a little more extreme to the side of organic protein and quality veggies… and then she said “what are you thinking” and i told her and she said “i’m pregnant and you’re thinking about food” and then i had to explain i was thinking about nutrition for her and the baby… and then we laughed, and i grabbed a cup of coffee, went to my studio, sat in front of my drawing table and just smiled for about an hour watching the sun break over the evergreens behind our place, wondering who this little person God had given us would grow up to be… the feeling of appreciation and thankfullness for this gift was overwhelming… (then i took my wife to IHOP and we had bacon and eggs… i did get the flax oil and i did make her a protein shake every morning from then on out… she still drinks them… had one today, in fact. - baby is now 5 weeks old and being a dad is just absolutely incredible… I’d never thought or imagined i’d feel the love for anything or anyone the way i do for my daughter)
 
Brian_C said:
\don’t buy too many of those expecting books. \
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great advice, take about 3% of the advice you hear to heart… everyone means well, but you have to walk the path yourself to understand it.
just enjoy this time… everyone will have 20 different opinions, there are 200,000 books with different opinions… you will drive yourself NUTS if you try to take it all in…

just enjoy and smile… it just gets better and better…
congrats pop!
 
Hey, thanks!

I was wondering though… this might qualify as another thread but since it’s related, I’ll just keep it here. When she was my girlfriend, I couldn’t understand her; now that she’s my wife, I couldn’t understand her even more. I’m thinking that it’s due to the pregnancy. She says she’s not mad but sometimes she sounds like she is. I just don’t get it and probably never will. Did any of you encounter something similar or even worse? It’s really hard being apart, you know?
 
My 94 year old grandfather will probably tell you he still doesn’t understand my grandmother.😃

Pregnancy can be a strain. Don’t think it’ll just go away after your child is born, either. It may even get worse as you’ll be experiencing late night feedings and crying spells. You just have to work through it and be patient. Put each others’ needs above your own.

Free time, as you know it, may well be over…😃 But don’t fret, things will calm down as the baby gets a little older. Some couples cope better and faster than others.
 
CatholicSamurai said:
Hey, thanks!

I was wondering though… this might qualify as another thread but since it’s related, I’ll just keep it here. When she was my girlfriend, I couldn’t understand her; now that she’s my wife, I couldn’t understand her even more. I’m thinking that it’s due to the pregnancy. She says she’s not mad but sometimes she sounds like she is. I just don’t get it and probably never will. Did any of you encounter something similar or even worse? It’s really hard being apart, you know?
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If it makes you feel any better, she probably doesn’t understand herself. I remember when I had to go on a high does of steroids, it took a while to understand the effect they had on me. She’s pregnant, her body has to use different hormones at different times to help the pregnancy. While people may go through generally much the same, specifically everyone is different and the effect is different. It’ll take her some time to get a grasp on things, much less you.

If you want things to go smoothly as possible, both you and her will need to understand, both of you have no idea what any given situation at any given time exactly how she’ll react, in large part to the pregnancy. She might well be deny to herself that she is mad, when she actually is. It might not be the typical situation that would make her mad, and “why should I be mad”, sometimes we cannot dictate to our body how we should feel.

She’ll be going through a lot of changes, physically, mentally, spiritually. It can be very hard, and hard to adjust, especially if you aren’t ready to accept them all. The best thing you can do is to tell her explicitly that you love her, think she’s beautiful, and you want to be with her. And when baby comes, keep doing it. And even when she’s not acting like it…especially when she’s not acting like it. Do that and hopefully when things get a bit too much for you, she’ll be there to pick you up too.
 
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