Focus problem when reading the Rosary

[Bruised_Reed]

Hey all,

I really need help if you guys could aid me. I have severe ADHD, and it has made the Rosary one of the toughest devotionals for me to accomplish. I feel like, whenever I pray it, I can’t actually pray it, because, although I’m saying the words, I can’t keep my attention on the topic I’m supposed to be meditating on for more than one bead, if that. I’ll pray beforehand for help with focus, and I’ll try really hard to force my attention on it, and still, invariably, on every decade, I wind up thinking about something in my life or something completely irrelevant (and sometimes even scandalous thoughts that I’m not even aware I’m slipping into!)

I know that, by making the effort, I am still doing a good deed by praying it, but I can’t help but feel I can’t be as good a Catholic as I could be if I could keep my prayers and devotionals meaningful! Heck, when I pray at night or before Mass, I can’t even keep my thoughts from straying. Sometimes it just makes me want to break down and cry at my inability to focus on God or His Blessed Mother or Heaven or anything . I struggle with feelings of worthlessness a lot anyway from having comorbid BPD (borderline), and this just compounds on that to make me feel like I just can’t even succeed at doing good for the person I love the most (Christ) .

Please help me . Is there anything I can do that would be more amenable to my condition?..

~ SMGS

I’m going to suggest a jumble of things. There isn’t anything that ties them thogether but each in it’s own way has helped me have some very fruitful times while praying the rosary.

A priest once told me that the essence of the rosary are the mysteries; the Hail Marys are timekeepers so that we spend a decent amount of time meditating on each Mystery. Skip the hail Marys (or have them on audio) and focus on the just the mysteries a couple of times.

I’m visual so having an image to focus on helps. Sometimes I need something concrete like a statue or picture depicting that mysteries and sometimes, if I’m reading a scriptural rosary, I try to imagine being there, in person. Doing so can take a lot of time though so iI can’t do this if I have a short time limit. Perhaps you are more kinesthetic and need to move when you pray; walk around the block or pace the room or in church “visit the stations.”

One book that helped me is called “How to Be Happy, How to Be Holy” by TAN books. It’s old (first published in the 30s I think) and it captured my attention because it far from modern and many of the books in similar volumes published by TAN used language that I was archaic and unfamiliar to me (then). (Example it referred to “assisting” at Mass. To post Vatican II-me that meant music ministry or being an EMHC but how can I do that at every Mass??? Turns out that assisting at Mass just means participating prayerfully…whew!) Anyway, it really challenged me because the priest who wrote it suggested contemplating things in a way I wasn’t familiar with. It kind of inspired a mystical experience (which I haven’t been able to replicate.)

I use an app on my smart phone and I tap a thingy on the screen to go to each decade. I can lose my place during a Hail Mary so I like being able to read the prayer, if I need to. I miss the beads but the phone is quieter if I’m in church or adoration chapel.