The title says it all. I would really appreciate any prayers you’d be willing to offer for the intention of me getting some kind of relief from:
- My habitual stupidity/lukewarm sinfulness, in that I do things I know are wrong and put myself into this situation, not to mention that I hurt God.
Lux you aren’t the only one who hurts God. I do things that I know are wrong because I am weak, and I depend on what I can see, feel, touch,or taste to make me feel better. Don’t worry, whatever it was, it is something we all have probably done. Just don’t put yourself in that situation again. But do you know what the JOY is here?? (St Therese is “talking” to you
so listen up
: that you see and know your sinfulness, and have a good understanding on how to get over it! you are a step ahead
And 2) The intense feeling of panic/fear that I feel quite frequently about God. I want to learn to love Him the way I know I should, but it’s so hard NOT to be terrified when you’re such a sinful person. I’m making progress, especially since being officially received into the Church and receiving Confirmation/Communion, but I still struggle with this a lot. And then my intense fear/scruples lead me to feel so overwhelmed that I give up,
In regards to the intense panic and fear, let me give you a *small *story ( yes, small, I promise
)----I was about your age, and I was attending mass daily after a big conversion back into my faith. I was panicking, as you say, and I did not want to return back to church because of the thoughts of all the seriously sinful things I had wantonly committed for all of my teen years. How could God want ME? My three yr old nephew (26 now), at the time
came up to me and said “Don’t be afraid of God” He looked at me dead center in my eyes and said this. I had not even whispered about my fear to anybody. So I will pass it along: Don’t be afraid of God.
saying “I’ll never be able to do this right anyways” and do stupid, wrong, sinful things. Then I get to pull my hair out wondering if it was a mortal sin or not and wishing I could go to confession multiple times per week.
So you failed once, and again several other times…You are committing yourself to God—that
commitment is what matters. You are human and you WILL fail—accept that , and eventually you will become all that God has His Mind for you as long as you keep trying to get over the failings----be generous about it, though, and accept His Mercy which is given limitlessly. God is not counting your transgressions, but counting on your DEVOTION to Him.
