For men only (porn use survey)

[TLM08]

Just to shed a little light on how us guys are doing with staying away from this garbage. With over 90 days clean, I am praying for God to continue to send heaps of grace my way. My previous short term successes contained slip-ups where I suspect that pride got the best of me. Only with God’s grace can we kill this monster. Facing up to the facts is step one. Any thoughts or opinions are welcome.

 

[The_Chicken]

I was addicted to porn, but since I came back to the church I have stopped completely. God is good!

 

[tvdxer]

It depends on how you define porn. If you’re limiting it to triple-X movies and the like, than no, I haven’t ever deliberately viewed porn. Personally I consider hardcore pornography disgusting and wouldn’t even find it arousing. However if you include “softer” material (“that” kind of nudity), then yes, unfortunately. I used to often visit such websites and occasionally flip back and forth from certain late-night cable TV shows out of “curiosity” (probably masked sexual desire looking back), but I’ve been good about avoiding that sort of thing for a little over the past two years, after I realized there’s really no excuse. I had the odd benefit of learning a lot about the church’s teachings on sexual morality when I was young (c. 11 years old), so masturbation and porn addictions never really caught on with me, although I engaged in the above mentioned kind of activity on an irregular basis during certain periods of my teenage and pre-teen years.

 

[iamrefreshed]

If you are tempted to look at porn please remember that most of those women were sexually abused as children.

They are victims in need of love.

 

[fbl9]

elven days since my last fall into the pit…computers make it to easy to view porn type images,it is hard considering the number of yrs i have been into this stuff…a daily prayer regiment is one the best protectors against this in my experience…

 

[TLM08]

elven days since my last fall into the pit…computers make it to easy to view porn type images,it is hard considering the number of yrs i have been into this stuff…a daily prayer regiment is one the best protectors against this in my experience…

When the porn loses it’s reward of masturbation, porn loses it’s death grip and Satan begins to panic. Divide these into two distinct and separate sins. Destroy all immodest material in you home. Increase prayer and begin to live a G-Rated life. Train your eyes to keep moving whenever something or someone comes into view that causes you to lust. For me, that even meant turning off Cable News!

This will take practice.

Develop a brutal hatred for what this stuff has done to your soul. Your mind will begin to quickly purify itself and the masturbation habit will begin slowing to a stop since you have deprived this vice of any visual aids whatsoever. God’s grace, frequent confession and regular prayer will bring you final healing from this sickness…

Three months clean here!

 

[DustinM]

What’s all this “my wife” stuff?

Not every guy is married.
Not every person who looks at porn is even male.
(Heck, some couples watch it together. I’m not saying that’s OK; I’m saying your poll doesn’t account for this option at all.)

EDIT: I guess my point is, I don’t understand why this poll is men only. (And my “Not every guy is married” comment is true either way.)

 

[teachccd]

What’s all this “my wife” stuff?

Not every guy is married.
Not every person who looks at porn is even male.
(Heck, some couples watch it together. I’m not saying that’s OK; I’m saying your poll doesn’t account for this option at all.)

EDIT: I guess my point is, I don’t understand why this poll is men only. (And my “Not every guy is married” comment is true either way.)

I think that mainly because when a man is married the sin is even greater because not only does he degrade himself but he rejects his wife. Whenever a man lusts after another woman, for that moment, he replaces his wife with someone else. I also see that the OP is trying to get a man’s perspective while still acknowledging that women look at porn as well. If you are not married then you still have the options of where you are with your usage of pornography.

I’m not the author of this poll so I speak only by my observation and I will stand corrected if need be…teachccd

 

[jfoges]

What about men who are not married? Nearly every option in this survey mentions a wife.

 

[Caesar517]

What about men who are not married? Nearly every option in this survey mentions a wife.

By my count, 5 out of 10 options do not mention a wife…
Everything that I can think of is covered.

 

[flameburns623]

I had to answer multiple and contradictory choices because the poll was so internally contradictory. Sorry.

 

[skeyes]

It is the same with every evil in our lives. Evil always affects other people who are in any way connected to the sinner. In order to get an evil out of our lives, we must replace it with a concrete love of Jesus. We have to decide that this evil offends our Savior and that we are not willing to offend Jesus and His sacrifice for us. Our God will supply all our needs in Jesus.
Stan

 

[fbl9]

When the porn loses it’s reward of masturbation, porn loses it’s death grip and Satan begins to panic. Divide these into two distinct and separate sins. Destroy all immodest material in you home. Increase prayer and begin to live a G-Rated life. Train your eyes to keep moving whenever something or someone comes into view that causes you to lust. For me, that even meant turning off Cable News!

This will take practice.

Develop a brutal hatred for what this stuff has done to your soul. Your mind will begin to quickly purify itself and the masturbation habit will begin slowing to a stop since you have deprived this vice of any visual aids whatsoever. God’s grace, frequent confession and regular prayer will bring you final healing from this sickness…

Three months clean here!

well actually the m is not really an issue,as much as the p is…what bugs me the most is that yes i stil lose to the temptation to view porn/or images,it doesn’t really turn me on…so then why do i still fail in temptation,to look at this filth??as an addtion to what teachccd stated when one is married and views porn one is no longer giving honor to his wife…

 

[TLM08]

well actually the m is not really an issue,as much as the p is…what bugs me the most is that yes i stil lose to the temptation to view porn/or images,it doesn’t really turn me on…so then why do i still fail in temptation,to look at this filth??as an addtion to what teachccd stated when one is married and views porn one is no longer giving honor to his wife…

Are you a man or a woman? Typically, it is women who are much less aroused through the eyes. I would suppose that women who view porn are viewing the material as a “fantasy context” of a loving relationship, where with men, it is strictly a visual, physical kickstart for reaping pleasures of the reproduction system without regard to it’s purpose. God didn’t give us this capacity for our own self-amusement.

If you really think about it, it is not unlike gorging oneself on gourmet food. These are natural desires that are being fulfilled in a sinful way. Food sustains life of the individual and sex sustains the life of the human race.

I am now begining to understand the nature of sin and how it can grow within the individual. It would be nice to hear more sermons at Mass about vice and virtue, how sin grows, the need for penance… how to repent… on an on. Priests these days seem to avoid these sermons like the plague. Maybe they are afraid to scare people off. I do fear that a lot of people are going to Hell because they simply refuse to come to grips with their habitual sin.

The catechism is good reading on this topic, but there is an “old school” catholic book that I am currently reading called “Hell & How to Avoid Hell”… It doesn’t soft-peddle anything and is absolutely fascinating. It really gets into the nature of sin and how to kill it in our lives.

I would have to agree that porn dishonors not only a man’s wife, but it dishonors all women and the Holy Almighty God who gave us the gift of sexual intimacy in the first place. Also, by it’s very nature, porn degrades men because it turns us into self centered brute beasts.

 

[DustinM]

By my count, 5 out of 10 options do not mention a wife…
Everything that I can think of is covered.

No, not everything is covered. Offhand without even having to really think about it, I can give you one example: The only option for porn addiction involves a wife in the option.

 

[DustinM]

I think that mainly because when a man is married the sin is even greater because not only does he degrade himself but he rejects his wife.

So when a woman is married and she looks at porn, she is not rejecting her husband (assuming he doesn’t want her to look at it)? Come on now…

Whenever a man lusts after another woman, for that moment, he replaces his wife with someone else.

The same is true for women lusting after a man.

I also see that the OP is trying to get a man’s perspective while still acknowledging that women look at porn as well.

Then the OP is missing a huge side of the issue.

If you are not married then you still have the options of where you are with your usage of pornography.

But there are going to be some people who fit none of the options. See my post above for one example.

 

[fbl9]

Are you a man or a woman?

. Also, by it’s very nature, porn degrades men because it turns us into self centered brute beasts.

a man trapped in a male’s body ,in response to your last paragragh not only that but also single minded in seeking sex where ever ,whenever…if left it can become a person’s only defining character,much like an alcoholic.

 

[JonW]

Change the survey to include unmarried men so that the rest of us can answer.

Jon

 

[rotlex]

It’s been nearly a year for me. The same amount of time I’ve been “called back” to the Church. (Thank God for that)!

Funny thing is, I never looked at it as a bad thing, and in most cases, never looked at it alone, hid it from my wife etc. Heck, I openly admit, at times we watched it together. I am the first to admit it was fun. Right? No. Fun, yes.

Why did I actually stop? After coming back to the Church after being away for so long, I realized how wrong it actually is. Has it been tough? Not at all really, as I don’t think it ever had the kind of hold on me that it does on some. It was simply used as something to make our sex life a little different, fantasy like at times.

 

[TLM08]

It’s been nearly a year for me. The same amount of time I’ve been “called back” to the Church. (Thank God for that)!

Funny thing is, I never looked at it as a bad thing, and in most cases, never looked at it alone, hid it from my wife etc. Heck, I openly admit, at times we watched it together. I am the first to admit it was fun. Right? No. Fun, yes.

Why did I actually stop? After coming back to the Church after being away for so long, I realized how wrong it actually is. Has it been tough? Not at all really, as I don’t think it ever had the kind of hold on me that it does on some. It was simply used as something to make our sex life a little different, fantasy like at times.

Looking back with deep sadness, shame and regret, years ago, long before I rediscovered my Catholic faith there were a small number of occasions when at my encouragement, my wife viewed pornography with me. She seemed to enjoy the experiences until one day while we were viewing it she absolutely burst out in tears which at the time was puzzling to me at the time.

The tape was a man and woman with absolutely nothing unnatural or violent occurring. I immediately removed the tape from the player and held her tight in my arms, telling her that I would get rid of the tape and I wouldn’t “invite” her to view this stuff anymore and I was deeply sorry.

This was a wake up call that something about this stuff wasn’t right. Her internal moral compass must have gotten it’s bearings and sounded an alarm, possibly saving both of us, especially me for leading her into that sin from a certain eternity in the eternal flames of Hell.