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TreeHugger
Guest
As the heart of the household, how do you put this special role into action?
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AirForceMama
Guest
You mean how do I make sure everyone is taken care of and knows I love them?? If that is what you mean, this is how I do it. First I read the book The Five Love Languages. I learned that my husband’s language is acts of service, so I make sure I make his lunch to take to work, have most of the housework done, and other little things to help him out. I don’t have to do these things, I know he would do them if I didn’t, but I know it means a lot to him when I do them.
And I take care of myself. You know the saying “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy”. If I feel sick, I do something about it and not wallow. I tell my husband I love him every chance I get - and always before we part (whether it’s going to the grocery store or off to work).
And I take care of myself. You know the saying “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy”. If I feel sick, I do something about it and not wallow. I tell my husband I love him every chance I get - and always before we part (whether it’s going to the grocery store or off to work).
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space_ghost
Guest
thanks for that… nice post…
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TreeHugger
Guest
yes, thanks mama.
i purposely didn’t define what it means to be heart of the household because i’m still trying to figure out exactly what that means.
please…all u wives…feel free to share how you view this role, and what it requires of you.
i purposely didn’t define what it means to be heart of the household because i’m still trying to figure out exactly what that means.
please…all u wives…feel free to share how you view this role, and what it requires of you.
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AirForceMama
Guest
The acts that go along with being the “heart” of the household are very different from family to family. You need to find out what NEEDS to be done, what you WANT to do, and what others (your husband) REQUEST of you. Make sure the needs are taken care of, and then work on the wants and the requests. Here is what I learned from the book, and how I interpeted it (they work for us!)
If your husband is a vocal person, then make sure you tell him your feelings, your concerns, right away. Telling him things will be his reassurance of your love.
If your husband is very physical, then touching will spark the “Wow - she really does love me” feeling. Things as simple as a hug in the hallway to holding hands, to bedtime “ahem…”.
If your husband makes a big effort to spend as much quality time with you, then make sure you are giving him the attention he needs. From making time to watch a movie together, go out to dinner, extra cuddle time before going to bed - this personal time will speak mountains.
If your husband gets sentimental when you do “little things”, then continue doing them! This is my husbands “language”. Making his lunch (including putting a little note in his lunchbox), having his laundry clean, buying his razor blades BEFORE he runs out - all tells him how much I think and care about him.
If your husband loves to receive things, then by giving him things will be your way of showing your love. Anything from a big screen TV to a poem will do the trick. In my opinion, it’s the thought that you spent time thinking of something to do for him to make him happy that is the trigger here. If my husband were to buy me a pair of diamond earrings (which I’d love!!), I think the fact that he “thought about” and “planned” buying them for me, going to the store, paying money, and thought into presenting them to me, would be worth more than the earrings themself. But boy would they look good on my ears, too
It’s a great book, and lets you know how to figure out what your spouse’s language is, and how to speak it yourself. Everyone is different, and although you’ll get some great tips on “how to be a great wife” on this thread, your husband is the one receiving the vibes! Make sure he can understand them!
If your husband is a vocal person, then make sure you tell him your feelings, your concerns, right away. Telling him things will be his reassurance of your love.
If your husband is very physical, then touching will spark the “Wow - she really does love me” feeling. Things as simple as a hug in the hallway to holding hands, to bedtime “ahem…”.
If your husband makes a big effort to spend as much quality time with you, then make sure you are giving him the attention he needs. From making time to watch a movie together, go out to dinner, extra cuddle time before going to bed - this personal time will speak mountains.
If your husband gets sentimental when you do “little things”, then continue doing them! This is my husbands “language”. Making his lunch (including putting a little note in his lunchbox), having his laundry clean, buying his razor blades BEFORE he runs out - all tells him how much I think and care about him.
If your husband loves to receive things, then by giving him things will be your way of showing your love. Anything from a big screen TV to a poem will do the trick. In my opinion, it’s the thought that you spent time thinking of something to do for him to make him happy that is the trigger here. If my husband were to buy me a pair of diamond earrings (which I’d love!!), I think the fact that he “thought about” and “planned” buying them for me, going to the store, paying money, and thought into presenting them to me, would be worth more than the earrings themself. But boy would they look good on my ears, too
It’s a great book, and lets you know how to figure out what your spouse’s language is, and how to speak it yourself. Everyone is different, and although you’ll get some great tips on “how to be a great wife” on this thread, your husband is the one receiving the vibes! Make sure he can understand them!
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puzzleannie
Guest
was not brought up to think my job as wife and mother was to take care of everybody, but was raised to think that as parents our job was to teach our children to take care of themselves and each other. So my approach to parenting and all that implies was based on that view. Fortunately, hub and I discussed this before marriage and agreed, and have pretty much adhered to this philosophy. Very proud of how kids have turned out.
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