For those who are married, engaged, were you instantly attracted to your partner, or did it take time to build the relationship

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Instant. We met up for drinks and stayed out until he had to be at work the next morning just laughing and talking. I was instantly taken, I thought he was the most handsome man I’d ever seen, and he was so easy to talk to. I found myself opening up and sharing things about myself right away, and so did he. I had never met anyone like him before and I didn’t know that people could connect like that. I didn’t know he would be my husband, but I knew that he was special.

Of course real love came much later.
 
semi instant… the first time I saw her… I thought she was too young. She thought I was too young.

The second time, months later it was love at first/second sight… I didn’t know it was the same girl I met months before.
 
For us, we became old friends at first sight.
We met through online dating. We were just so comfortable with each other. I never felt like we had to try, no awkwardness. I didn’t have much hope that this would go past the first date since we lived over a hundred miles apart. When the date ended, I thought to myself, “What a great guy! I hope he finds someone good.” Knowing my personality, I don’t think I would have been comfortable with falling in love at first sight.
 
I have never been the sort to approach a guy about anything at all, but when I saw my darling sitting the entry-way to our college cafeteria reading Shakespeare, I went up to him and commented on the play he was reading. I left almost at once, but I could not forget him. Apparently, he remembered me, too, and when we next ran into each other, we ended up talking. I started to fall in love that night. As for him, well, he told me he thought I was pretty, interesting, and had an incredibly sexy voice.
 
She smiled at me with a smile that went right through me. Of course I hit on her. I invited her to come hear some Mozart when my new grand piano got here from Japan. She had no defense against that, so now that was 27 years ago and we’re almost done raising our six wonderful kids, and now we have one grandson.

Alan
 
This very subject came up just the other day. My husband and I both agree that we were not head over heals in love but instead attracted to each other and interested to know each other better. I was 19 and he was 21 when we were first introduced at a frat dance. Dated a couple of times and then it fizzled because it was the wrong time. Then three years later he saw my brother and he began to think of me again. He got my number and called me. That is when we both knew that we had found the “ONE” and three months later we aere engaged. Thirty six years later and he still makes my heart sing and vice versa! Good luck.
 
I’d decided to marry my DH the night I met him. I said nothing to him about it but accepted when he proposed two weeks later. We did not get married until 3 years later though, after he joined the military and I went to nursing school. We were married 37 years in October.
 
benjammin said:
I’ve always wondered this about people since I myself am young and have never had a relationship, though there were girls I have dated and been infatuated with. Anyway for those who are or will be married, were you instantly attracted to your spouse or did it take a while to become a dating relationship and eventually a marriage relationship? I hear some people say how they knew that they were going to marry a certain person, while others talk about how it took a while for some couples to start dating and i’ve always wondered since i don’t have any personal experience
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I found her attractive, but I had no idea I was going to marry her.

That took about two months.

God Bless
 
Well, I am not engaged nor am I married, nor am I even dating. But I do have some girls that I really like, and for me the attraction was instant. But I think this thread comes from another one of yours about how you believe you are unattractive and you feared you would not be able to find a girl. The thing is, girls do not find guys cute the way guys find girls cute. Girls like attractive guys, but when a guy has traits they really like, they find him attractive even if he is not physically pleasing. One of my friends says she never found her old boyfriend attractive at first, but as soon as she started liking him he became very attractive and she still thinks he is. Even guys experience things like this. I know for the girl I really like I was instantly attracted because she is very attractive, but what got me was her personality. Once I got to know her, she became so attractive it was unbelievable. Just be yourself and you will find a girl. 👍
 
Definitely not love at first sight, lol, When I first met my fiance I was too busy with moving across the world and setting up my life to notice, and then I became interested in one of his friends. And even once we started dating our relationship was on and off for a while while we sorted out personal issues that bled into the relationship, but once we sorted those out it was pretty clear where we were headed. 😃
 
For me it was an instant physical attraction.

We met online and exchanged a couple of e-mails. When we went on our first date I remember seeing him and saying to myself…he is cute!

However, our relationship developed over time and we dated for 4 years before we got married.

We had to get to know each other and that was over hours and hours of sitting across from each other at a bar with empty glasses and just talking. Or spending hours on the phone and online when he was deployed. That was where the deep and intimate attraction grew and grew.
 
I saw my wife from across the room at a college church function and thought she was gorgeous. It turns out that I knew her roommate and found out that she was dating someone else at the time. Six months later we crossed paths on campus and I told her Hi and walked her to campus. She later told me that she was embarrassed because she recognized me as that cute guy, but couldn’t remember my name. A month later we went on our first date together and never dated anyone else. That was 15 years ago. I still think she is the most beautiful woman that I have even seen.
 
I wouldn’t say it was instant. There was an attraction when I first met my husband in person.

I had known him over the internet for about a year by the time we met in person. He was actually a closer friend to my best friend than me at the time. We hit it off though. We had a lot in common and talked a lot online after that. Things snowballed from there.
 
I’d expect men to say “instant” and women to say “over time” but I’m a sexist pig.

This said, I’ve been in an “over time” situation once but it did start with a spark. As a boy and very young man, I tended to feel a lot of sparks that I either judiciously or just habitually ignored unless they were something major (the said something major letting itself to be known, or obstacles letting themselves to be known as less important, over a longer time sometimes). I suspect men tend to be wired this way, which is to say in a more right-away way, while women generally need the build-up (which I tend jokingly to refer to as usucaption :p).

But the above may be simply connected to who’s the initiating and who’s the responding party. Personally, I find myself acting a little like a woman normally does when approached by a man, when I’m approached by a woman. So yeah, chance is it’s just that the initiator sees the instant spark and the reacting party sees the build-up. With exceptions, naturally. Some people do lose or gain significantly upon closer examination.
 
The moment I saw my wife,I saw her inner beauty of the Lord in her, not just her exterior beauty. I knew that moment she was the one. We have been Happily married in the Church for 20 years. We were best friends for almost two years before we dated and got married, with Jesus Christ and Church our center focus.Also we made a commitment no matter what always to respect each other, even in disagreements.I Love her even more than when we got married.😉
God Bless
 
We knew each other in highschool but never hung out. Re-met each other 5 years later in college and it was pretty much love at first sight. Told each other we loved each other after 8 days dating, got engaged 9 months in and married 9 months after that. Been married over 6 years with two kids so far.
 
chÃo anh em, chúc anh em luôn vui v?, like it hì bên mình lÃm ?nh cu?i di kèm d?ch v? ch?p ?nh cu?i theo yêu c?u anh em UH mình nhé thanks
 
My first thought after meeting my future husband: “Awesome! Finally a guy I can actually become great friends with and will never ever be romantically interested in!”
We became friends, and slowly over time attraction crept up on me. I realized I was spending more time with him that the guy I was supposedly seeing when I met him! When we started our relationship I could tell it was somehow different than any other relationship I’ve been in. You don’t realize what it’s like to be treated with respect until you actually are. He was a floating confused Christian at the time, and that did cause me quite a bit of angst, but he ended up (completely of his own accord) deciding he wanted to be Catholic. After that, I kind of knew we’d get married, but it sounded too good to be true, and I kept praying really hard about it. We got engaged 6 months later, and are getting married in 9 weeks and 3 days.
 
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