For Wives Only (husbands and porn use)

[TLM08]

As of this morning, Novenber 16th 2008… 51 men have answered the porn use survey. One of the questions was this:

“My wife KNOWS NOTHING about my porn use and would be devastated.”

Only one man answered “YES” to this question. It would be interesting for us husbands to have *you ladies *weigh in on this!

 

[yellowbird]

I don’t know if devestated is the right word - repulsed is more like it.

 

[Christy_Beth]

My ex was ***very ***much involved with porn. He had a collection of magazines and books that were nothing but porn. Occasionally he got the movies as well. He tried to get me to help him “re-enact” the stories. That was one of the reasons our marriage failed. I was tossed out by him (and his family) for not being “good enough.” And the porn was a good part of that.

 

[seeker_of_God]

I never understood this. I’m in college and it is basically deemed a normal part of every guy’s life. A bunch of guys in my fraternity were one day sitting around on the couch watching it openly, one of them even with his girlfriend present. I could do nothing more than come in my room and try to ignore it.

I not only think it’s in bad taste, but outright repulsive. It seriously diminishes my view of those who watch it, though I try not to let it bother me.

Sorry, I know the thread is about wives, but I feel rather passionately on the subject as well.

 

[RosaryGirl_777]

I would feel very insulted, I would probably put a virus on his pc, delete all his save games Oh & delete his Eq toons. (Thats the way you get your techno-geek husband if he does something silly ) Wait he might delete my all save games & put a better virus on my pc & since I’m not a techno-geek I couldn’t fix it:shrug: hmm never mind…

 

[Angilla]

I’m divorced but, looking back at my marriage… If I had caught him looking at porn, I would have felt offended.

Walking down the street, glancing at a busty woman I considered to be normal. He’s a male, it’s a nearly bare chest, yeah he glanced for 3 seconds. But then he looked back at me for (what I thought would be) the rest of his life. He didn’t drool over her, he glanced and then realized what he was doing and stopped… and then he drooled over me.

Porn, on the other hand… drooling and more over probably not even just one woman but many other women… nuh uh. First off, he was married to me, committed to me, which meant I was his drool material… nobody else. But second off, those images are usually so fake… edited to have perfect hair and skin… tons of make-up… boobs and butt blown out of size proportion… maybe even some modifying of body part shapes (i.e. boobs defying gravity)… I could never compete against that. Nobody can compete against digital editing. I’d feel like that woman is better than I could ever be… so therefore I’m not good enough, that’s WHY he has to look at those pics… because he doesn’t get enough gratification from me. I’m not skinny/pretty/sexy/whatever enough for him and that’s why he needs a supplement. Granted, there might be un-edited porn out there… but #1 would still apply, and jealousy would set in.

So yeah, as a whole, I’d say that I would have been devastated. It would have crushed my self-image in multiple ways… not only about how I looked… but about how good of a wife I was. I’d feel like if I were a good enough wife, he wouldn’t even have the desire to look at other women in that manner because he’d only want me.

 

[jofa]

My ex-husband was/is a porn addict. I found out later that on these porn sites he visited, there would often be child-porn mixed in once in a while so that when a man was fully aroused he would come across the image and get hooked on that too.
End of story - turned out he molested at least two of our children.
Please, I dare anyone to tell me porn isn’t evil.