Firstly, thank you for all your posts.
Apart from James and Chris, I think the majority of your responses are missing the mark and do not take the real responsibilities that we all have as human beings for our actions. I can’t just rely on the fact (from my perspective and reality!) that a omniprescent deity/being will decided whether a person is contrite and repentant, after all actions always speak louder than words. This is a cop out and I feel it is a failing of your faith.
I’m actually over the fundamental bitterness of what she did, however it annoys me that this person can take a route and not address her real responsibilities, especially when she is completely aware of what her actions did. This is the crux of it. I want to forgive her because in someway I still love her, I also want her to redeem her self. I don’t care whether she feels in the same way about me, its a healing process for both of us, but her disdain and disrespect of me and her responsibility is clear. For me to know she can waltz into a booth, confess, and be supposedly contrite, and then ask for forgiveness, is farcical in the extreme. Just plain wrong! It’s an abberation, and a fault, its an excuse for not addressing your actions.
When you punch a wall, most people think that it does nothing apart from hurt your fist, but the reality is that energy is absorbed and transformed, the wall absorbs it and its then passed on into the earth. If you punch the wall over and over gain it will start to crumble and some point maybe collapse, possibly onto the aggressor.
I agree, and now understand that to be bitter only destroys you…I think it was buddha who said, that anger is like holding a hot coal with the intent of hurting someone, but in the end it is you that actually gets burnt. I think in hindsight, she has been my greatest test, any normal person would have reacted in a far greater and destructive way, she has seen this and manipulated both me and the situation.
Our emotional actions are like this, as Jesus said himself, those who live by the sword, die by the sword. He could see that our actions always return in some way (good or bad). Everything is linked in the universe, and at somepoint what you do will will always have a consequence. However, I believe that addressing your actions, can affect what those consequences will be, and mitigate the effects.
I believe now that through the previous actions of my own, I have received this bad karma. When I really think about it, it’s quite easy to see. All self generated. I want her to see this and correct her ways and acknowledge this for her own benefit. Something she is not going to do when she can take the easy option and through rote pretend to be sorry.
She was very lucky she did what she did to a buddhist, because I feel the the outcome would have been very much worse if done to someone with another faith or belief.
