If you are waiting for the person who wronged you to come forward first to acknowledge their wrong-doing and to ask for forgiveness, wouldn’t this place you in #2? The person may not come forward for some time, or they may never come forward. What to make of such a situation? Hold it against them until they say they’re sorry?
The person who is truly contrite and broken hearted does not repent because something is being offered to them (other than forgiveness), they are repenting because they are truly contrite.
Also, why would it matter if a person who is truly contrite received the same forgiveness and was shown the same mercy as someone who didn’t ask? Have you not heard the parable of the workers in the vineyard? God can reward anyone He wants under any stipulation that He wants. He pays the workers who were out in the field for 10 hours the same as He pays the workers who showed up at the end of the day and only worked 2 hours.
Ironically enough, Jesus Himself, cried out on the cross for His Father to “forgive them, for they know not what they do.” He didn’t say forgive them, only until they come forward first. It sounds like He just forgave them, whether they wanted forgiveness, asked for it, or not.
Yes, I understand that this is the standard response given by most Christians to the question of whom to forgive.
However, responding to points I did not make is called nonsequiter.
" Hold it against them until they say they’re sorry?"
No. Please re-read that I have made a clear distinction between this (holding a grudge–a sin) and letting it go. Letting it go is recorded in the Bible as love “covering a multitude of sins.”
Here are two verses, both recording Jesus words:
Luke m17:3 So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them;
and if they repent, forgive them.
Mark 11:25-26 And whenever you stand praying, forgive if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your transgressions. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.
Which of Christs words do you reject?
In order to solve this apparent contradiction, we MUST use the additive principle of hermeneutics. It works like this:
If the scripture says A+B=C in one verse and in another it says B=C, then the second verse implies A+
Otherwise you have to do violence to the scripture by throwing one of them out. I am not inclined to do this.
Also, the workers in the Vinyard were not guilty of anything. They simply were hired by the master at different parts of the day. Is it your contention that the moral of the story is “don’t repent. You will be forgiven anyway?” Yikes. The actual moral of the story is “your hard work will be rewarded and besides you don’t when you are going to do die so repent, get to work and stop worrying about what others are doing.”
Likewise, the people at Jesus feet who crucified Him? Christ asked the Father to forgive them appealing to the fact that they did not know what they were doing was a sin. We have no idea how the Father responded. Again–does this verse tell us “everyone gets in in the end. Don’t bother repenting!”
Of course not. Otherwise why teach repentance? If you have two children, try this with them. (Give them both the same forgiveness even if only one of them is truly contrite) One of them will hate you.
