Forgotten sins: confession

[Merrick]

I have made four confessions as I prepare for Confirmation. My priest taught me to confess forgotten sins in the next confession if recalled. That is how I do it. Several forgotten sins surfaced in my last confession that I mentioned to a priest I had never met when I visited another church. After I finished he told me that I need not worry about mentioning forgotten sins.

That makes sense to me. Honestly, I think that would help me be less scrupulous, but I do not want to disobey my priest and will continue to mention forgotten sins.

Priests seem divided on this. Is there an official authoritative position? Is there a source to check?

The priest was still a good compassionate confessor. I am only checking his advice because it conflicts with my priest who actually is a little more strict than the official standards.

 

[buc_fan33]

Friend, no one on this board can help you more than your confessor. Trust him, and be at peace. Yes, rules are important, but we mustn’t become legalists.

Let me explain what I mean. Imagine you are playing basketball. You get the ball, dribble past half court, and stop there, and just keep on dribbling. You could rightly say that you’re following all of the rules. You’re not traveling, not fouling anyone, not double-dribbling. You’re not breaking any rules. But, you’re not really playing the game either. The point of the Christian life is not to simply follow all of the rules. It’s to grow in virtue to the point that you don’t even have to think about the rules. They just come naturally.

Lebron James doesn’t spend his time on the court thinking about making sure he doesn’t travel. He’s thinking about how to score, rebound, block shots, defend, etc. The spiritual life should be the same way. If you’re constantly worried about past sins, then you’re NOT striving to grow in virtue.

Here’s my advice, and again, above all LISTEN TO YOUR CONFESSOR, but for what it’s worth, be at peace. Try to love and serve other people. Imitate Jesus. Grow in devotion to the sacraments. Pray. Foster a relationship with Mary and the saints. Then, if you’re in confession and remember something from your past, mention it, and move on. Satan wants us to be worried about the rules to the point that we can’t play the game. Imagine if Lebron were so concerned about not traveling that he never scored? Well, he wouldn’t be Lebron James, if you know what I mean.

(Sorry if you’re not a basketball fan…truth be told, I’m not really either, but the analogy works.)

 

[Vico]

I have made four confessions as I prepare for Confirmation. My priest taught me to confess forgotten sins in the next confession if recalled. That is how I do it. Several forgotten sins surfaced in my last confession that I mentioned to a priest I had never met when I visited another church. After I finished he told me that I need not worry about mentioning forgotten sins.

That makes sense to me. Honestly, I think that would help me be less scrupulous, but I do not want to disobey my priest and will continue to mention forgotten sins.

Priests seem divided on this. Is there an official authoritative position? Is there a source to check?

The priest was still a good compassionate confessor. I am only checking his advice because it conflicts with my priest who actually is a little more strict than the official standards.

The canon law states that integral confession is the norm:
Can. 960 Individual and integral confession and absolution constitute the only ordinary means by which a member of the faithful conscious of grave sin is reconciled with God and the Church. Only physical or moral impossibility excuses from confession of this type; in such a case reconciliation can be obtained by other means.

Can. 988 §1. A member of the Christian faithful is obliged to confess in kind and number all grave sins committed after baptism and not yet remitted directly through the keys of the Church nor acknowledged in individual confession, of which the person has knowledge after diligent examination of conscience.

Integral means to confess all, but in practice it means formally complete rather than materially complete. For example, some sins are forgotten so cannot be confessed.

 

[pianistclare]

When I was young we were taught to say at the conclusion of our list of sins,
“for these and all the sins of my past life, I am truly sorry”.

That sincere phrase covered anything I might have forgotten.
I don’t know why people don’t do it anymore.
I’ve never forgotten it, and no priest has ever told me not to pray/say this.

 

[z_0101]

As a fairly recent convert (hmm… that was almost 5, or is it 6 years ago now that I think about it, How long before we’re not recent but long-in-the-tooth converts ), this was how I was taught by four priests, a deacon, and my sponsors:

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
I confess to God Almighty and to you, Father.
It has been ___________ (days, weeks, months, years) since my last confession.
*[insert your mortal sins by giving type and number, any mitigating circumstance]]
[confessing your venial sins at this time is encouraged]]
*
For these and all the sins that I can’t remember, and all the sins of my past life, I ask pardon of God and penance and absolution of you, Father.

As for confessing forgotten sins that if sometime after the confession, so long is it was not an intentional act to suppress, if I remembered them then I should confess it the next time I went to confession. So long as it was my intent to confess my mortal sins, not to stress nor get back in line - “the Lord sees our hearts and we rely upon his mercy.”

 

[Mark1970]

As a fairly recent convert (hmm… that was almost 5, or is it 6 years ago now that I think about it, How long before we’re not recent but long-in-the-tooth converts ), this was how I was taught by four priests, a deacon, and my sponsors:

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
I confess to God Almighty and to you, Father.
It has been ___________ (days, weeks, months, years) since my last confession.
*[insert your mortal sins by giving type and number, any mitigating circumstance]]
[confessing your venial sins at this time is encouraged]]
*
For these and all the sins that I can’t remember, and all the sins of my past life, I ask pardon of God and penance and absolution of you, Father.

As for confessing forgotten sins that if sometime after the confession, so long is it was not an intentional act to suppress, if I remembered them then I should confess it the next time I went to confession. So long as it was my intent to confess my mortal sins, not to stress nor get back in line - “the Lord sees our hearts and we rely upon his mercy.”

I was given similar advice, I was told by my confessor to conclude my confession with “…and all the sins I’ve forgotten/can’t remember” so the priest knows you intent to confess everything even if you don’t remember something. He said that at least if you have that intention in confession, you needn’t worry if you remember something afterwards.

 

[Vico]

I was given similar advice, I was told by my confessor to conclude my confession with “…and all the sins I’ve forgotten/can’t remember” so the priest knows you intent to confess everything even if you don’t remember something. He said that at least if you have that intention in confession, you needn’t worry if you remember something afterwards.

Very similar to the Byzantine Catholic form:Kneel (or stand) before the icon of Jesus Christ and begin with the sign of the cross:

1) “I confess to Almighty God, One in the Holy Trinity, to the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, to all the Saints, and to you, Father, all my sins.”
Say how long it has been, and your sins, in a conversational style. Then, when any counseling is complete, say:2) “For these and all my other sins which I remember or cannot call to mind, I am very sorry. I have offended God and have angered Him against me. I am sincerely repentant and promise with the help fo God to better my life. For this, I humbly ask of you, Father, salutary penance and absolution.”
The priest puts the epitrachelion on your head (if you are kneeling) and gives absolution, and then says “Go in peace, sin no more.”

​

However, it is most interesting that in the revised Latin Catholic rite of penance from 1974 (Pope Paul VI) one may merely say the Jesus Prayer for the act of contrition.

ibreviary.com/m/preghiere.php?tipo=Rito&id=227
cathedralofmary.org/parish/sacraments/riteofpenance.htm

Rite of Penance 1974 The “Jesus Prayer”
Lord Jesus, Son of God have mercy on me, a sinner.

 

[Bookcat]

I have made four confessions as I prepare for Confirmation. My priest taught me to confess forgotten sins in the next confession if recalled. That is how I do it. Several forgotten sins surfaced in my last confession that I mentioned to a priest I had never met when I visited another church. After I finished he told me that I need not worry about mentioning forgotten sins.

That makes sense to me. Honestly, I think that would help me be less scrupulous, but I do not want to disobey my priest and will continue to mention forgotten sins.

Priests seem divided on this. Is there an official authoritative position? Is there a source to check?

The priest was still a good compassionate confessor. I am only checking his advice because it conflicts with my priest who actually is a little more strict than the official standards.

You are *correct *one is obliged to confess forgotten sins - if they are mortal sins.

jimmyakin.com/2006/09/a_reader_writes_1.html (senior apologist of Catholic Answers)

Forgotten venial sins never need to be confessed (just as venial sin do not need to be confessed anyhow - though it is good to go regularly and confess some…they can be forgiven in many ways).

I would then advise not seeking to confess forgotten* venial *sins…since you not some question of scruples (your confessor can advise you best of course).

---

Now for some who struggle with scrupulosity - they may seek to confess things that are not needed and may even be in a situation where they need to be told by their regular confessor not to confess old sins (one good measure that has been given in the past by some confessors to those who have this difficulty is not to confess any old forgotten sins unless they are certain they are* both *1. mortal and 2. were not confessed…(readers with that difficulty can talk with their regular confessor)). For they can be in a different boat that others - and a problem scrupling about these things and need to have the Priest put the breaks on for them. Their *regular confessor *can know if they need some “exception” in their case due to their particular scruples with confession…

(and by the way - at times recent converts can have some “temporary” -some “transient” scruples - and so be aware that if one is struggling with such - it may be only temporary - and one may down the road not struggle with such…)

 

[Bookcat]

As for confessing forgotten sins that if sometime after the confession, so long is it was not an intentional act to suppress, if I remembered them then I should confess it the next time I went to confession. So long as it was my intent to confess my mortal sins, not to stress nor get back in line - “the Lord sees our hearts and we rely upon his mercy.”

Right for the sin was absolved indirectly.

And right -one is to confess in the next confession (if mortal).

He said that at least if you have that intention in confession, you needn’t worry if you remember something afterwards.

In the sense that one does not need to run back to confession if one remembers one forgot a mortal sin - sure.

And if it was a forgotten venial sin -one need not confess it. Where as (to clarify for readers who may have not read the whole other post you were responding to) there is an obligation to confess the forgotten sin -if it was mortal sin- in the next confession.

See next post.

 

[Bookcat]

I have made four confessions as I prepare for Confirmation. My priest taught me to confess forgotten sins in the next confession if recalled. That is how I do it. Several forgotten sins surfaced in my last confession that I mentioned to a priest I had never met when I visited another church. After I finished he told me that I need not worry about mentioning forgotten sins.

That makes sense to me. Honestly, I think that would help me be less scrupulous, but I do not want to disobey my priest and will continue to mention forgotten sins.

Priests seem divided on this. Is there an official authoritative position? Is there a source to check?

The priest was still a good compassionate confessor. I am only checking his advice because it conflicts with my priest who actually is a little more strict than the official standards.

You are *correct *one is obliged to confess forgotten sins - if they are mortal sins.

jimmyakin.com/2006/09/a_reader_writes_1.html (senior apologist of Catholic Answers)

Forgotten venial sins never need to be confessed (just as venial sin do not need to be confessed anyhow - though it is good to go regularly and confess some…they can be forgiven in many ways).

I would then advise not seeking to confess forgotten* venial *sins…since you not some question of scruples (your confessor can advise you best of course).

---

Now for some who struggle with scrupulosity - they may seek to confess things that are not needed and may even be in a situation where they need to be told by their regular confessor not to confess old sins (one good measure that has been given in the past by some confessors to those who have this difficulty is not to confess any old forgotten sins unless they are certain they are* both *1. mortal and 2. were not confessed…(readers with that difficulty can talk with their regular confessor)). For they can be in a different boat that others - and a problem scrupling about these things and need to have the Priest put the breaks on for them. Their *regular confessor *can know if they need some “exception” in their case due to their particular scruples with confession…

(and by the way - at times recent converts can have some “temporary” -some “transient” scruples - and so be aware that if one is struggling with such - it may be only temporary - and one may down the road not struggle with such…)

 

[JoeFreedom]

Friend, no one on this board can help you more than your confessor. Trust him, and be at peace. Yes, rules are important, but we mustn’t become legalists.

Let me explain what I mean. Imagine you are playing basketball. You get the ball, dribble past half court, and stop there, and just keep on dribbling. You could rightly say that you’re following all of the rules. You’re not traveling, not fouling anyone, not double-dribbling. You’re not breaking any rules. But, you’re not really playing the game either. The point of the Christian life is not to simply follow all of the rules. It’s to grow in virtue to the point that you don’t even have to think about the rules. They just come naturally.

Lebron James doesn’t spend his time on the court thinking about making sure he doesn’t travel. He’s thinking about how to score, rebound, block shots, defend, etc. The spiritual life should be the same way. If you’re constantly worried about past sins, then you’re NOT striving to grow in virtue.

Here’s my advice, and again, above all LISTEN TO YOUR CONFESSOR, but for what it’s worth, be at peace. Try to love and serve other people. Imitate Jesus. Grow in devotion to the sacraments. Pray. Foster a relationship with Mary and the saints. Then, if you’re in confession and remember something from your past, mention it, and move on. Satan wants us to be worried about the rules to the point that we can’t play the game. Imagine if Lebron were so concerned about not traveling that he never scored? Well, he wouldn’t be Lebron James, if you know what I mean.

(Sorry if you’re not a basketball fan…truth be told, I’m not really either, but the analogy works.)

Can I just say a really big loud AMEN TO JESUS CHRIST! It seems that when I need answers to my prayers, somehow they find a way just in the right way to be answered.

What a well written/thought out answer.

 

[Bookcat]

You are *correct *one is obliged to confess forgotten sins - if they are mortal sins.

jimmyakin.com/2006/09/a_reader_writes_1.html (Jimmy Akin: senior apologist of Catholic Answers)

Forgotten venial sins never need to be confessed (just as venial sin do not need to be confessed anyhow - though it is good to go regularly and confess some…they can be forgiven in many ways).

I would then advise not seeking to confess forgotten* venial *sins…since you not some question of scruples (your confessor can advise you best of course).

---

Now for some who struggle with scrupulosity - they may seek to confess things that are not needed and may even be in a situation where they need to be told by their regular confessor not to confess old sins (one good measure that has been given in the past by some confessors to those who have this difficulty is not to confess any old forgotten sins unless they are certain they are* both *1. mortal and 2. were not confessed…(readers with that difficulty can talk with their regular confessor)). For they can be in a different boat that others - and a problem scrupling about these things and need to have the Priest put the breaks on for them. Their *regular confessor *can know if they need some “exception” in their case due to their particular scruples with confession…

(and by the way - at times recent converts can have some “temporary” -some “transient” scruples - and so be aware that if one is struggling with such - it may be only temporary - and one may down the road not struggle with such…)

 

[JoeFreedom]

To Bookcat… what does it say about mortal sins that you think you probably did confess, but now are no longer sure because the time between now and when you confessed them is long in duration and at the time one was confessing many mortal sins, there were many, and as such, some could have been repeatedly confessed or some not confessed due to the long list?

I realize that once we confess we are supposed to be at peace because God has now provided forgiveness for our sins, but I continue to live in fear that I did not confess that particular sin due to the above reasons, which causes me to continue to think I need to confess sins I may have already confessed? I’ve been told not to create a list, but heck, it might be a good idea to simply list out everything I could possibly ever remember after a day long inter-reflection and thus leave it at that?

 

[Bookcat]

To Bookcat…

Your confessor can guide you.

(And it is good to note that there are various ways “impossibility” or “moral impossibility” can enter into things that create an exception to the obligation (at least for a time - each case can be different)…ones confessor can guide one as I noted.)

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Priests seem divided on this. Is there an official authoritative position? Is there a source to check?

It’s good that you’re preparing for your confirmation and taking it seriously.

I try to end my usual confessions with “catch-all” words to this effect: “. . . and Father if there’s anything I’ve forgotten it was not intentional and for these and all my sins I am truly sorry.”

If I’ve honestly forgotten to mention a SERIOUS sin (especially if I’d been reluctant to confess it) then in my next confession I’ll say that I’d unintentionally forgotten to confess this sin previously and am including it in this confession because of its serious or habitual nature. (This will cue him in that we’re not being scrupulous.)

Some people may not confess certain sins because they feel they’re not sinful although the Church holds otherwise. To them, I recommend saying “I did such and such (x number of times) but am reluctant to confess it because I don’t feel this is truly a sin.” If doing so, I also recommend adding “please help me with any advice or instruction on this because I’m struggling with it”. A good priest will rise to the occasion and provide some guidance which may be a turning point for the penitent.

For those who DELIBERATELY omit a sin (even if they attempt to include it in some catch-all at the conclusion), I’d strongly recommend confessing it next time and stating that it was deliberately omitted in the previous confession. It may help to add a sentence or two explaining the reason for omitting it because that may constitute an aggravating factor.

 

[bobballen_18]

For those who DELIBERATELY omit a sin (even if they attempt to include it in some catch-all at the conclusion), I’d strongly recommend confessing it next time and stating that it was deliberately omitted in the previous confession. It may help to add a sentence or two explaining the reason for omitting it because that may constitute an aggravating factor.

I was taught that if one deliberately omits a sin which one knows to be mortal, the confession is invalid. In that case, yes, in the next confession, one would have to confess deliberately omitting mortal sins, confess the one(s) which were omitted, and re-confess the (mortal) sins which were not omitted, as they were not forgiven in the last confession.

 

[Bookcat]

I was taught that if one deliberately omits a sin which one knows to be mortal, the confession is invalid. In that case, yes, in the next confession, one would have to confess deliberately omitting mortal sins, confess the one(s) which were omitted, and re-confess the (mortal) sins which were not omitted, as they were not forgiven in the last confession.

Yes that is correct (and if one committed mortal sins since then too - they would need to be confessed -but that is a given).