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From Fr Hardon’s “Catholic Catechism”:
Self-Love and Detachment. Assuming that the object I possess is not inherently sinful, I can still be unduly attached to it, as may be recognized by certain signs. Some of these are external, and others can only be experienced internally.
The standard hierarchy of values—supernatural, spiritual, intellectual, and material—may be applied here. So that if, for example, I am more concerned with an intellectual project than with my spiritual obligations to the evident detriment of the latter, I ought to suspect undue affection for the former.
Whenever a creature produces an undue attraction, the fault must not be sought in the object as such, but rather in me, precisely because the same creature may be safely possessed by someone else without detriment or even with positive benefit to his spiritual life. Perhaps I have not received the grace necessary both to keep physically and spiritually to profit from the disturbing creature. Or I may be lacking, culpably or otherwise, in those qualities of mind and temperament needed to overcome the natural seductiveness of what disturbs my peace of mind. Or most certainly, the state of life to which God has called me makes demands on my generosity and self-sacrifice that cannot be properly fulfilled except at the cost of being freed of certain inordinate affections.
Self-Love and Detachment. Assuming that the object I possess is not inherently sinful, I can still be unduly attached to it, as may be recognized by certain signs. Some of these are external, and others can only be experienced internally.
The standard hierarchy of values—supernatural, spiritual, intellectual, and material—may be applied here. So that if, for example, I am more concerned with an intellectual project than with my spiritual obligations to the evident detriment of the latter, I ought to suspect undue affection for the former.
- If I find myself habitually taking complacence in some possession, to the point where I tend to contemn or pity others for lacking what I have, this is a sign of inordinate self-love.
- If I often lose peace of mind from definable or undefinable causes, on account of what I have or do, I am too attached to the object, person, or practice, since ordinate affection, being orderly, produces tranquillity of mind, which is the essence of peace.
- If I am always afraid of losing or being hindered in the use of some gift or possession, or if I feel dissatisfied with what I have, whether its amount, quality, or perfection, I am too enamored of the object because the right kind of affection precludes such anxiety.
- If I regularly talk about my achievement along certain lines or advertise what I have for no better reason than the pleasure I get from being recognized, this is a sign of disorder in the appetitive faculties.
- If I am inclined to envy others for some kind of talent, production, or property that I feel outshines or obscures my own, this is a danger signal pointing to the need for greater self-control.
- If I tend to be jealous of what I have, slow to share it with others, or fearful that others may acquire the same, I am overly in love with the creature, no matter how lawfully acquired or how holy the thing may be in itself.
Whenever a creature produces an undue attraction, the fault must not be sought in the object as such, but rather in me, precisely because the same creature may be safely possessed by someone else without detriment or even with positive benefit to his spiritual life. Perhaps I have not received the grace necessary both to keep physically and spiritually to profit from the disturbing creature. Or I may be lacking, culpably or otherwise, in those qualities of mind and temperament needed to overcome the natural seductiveness of what disturbs my peace of mind. Or most certainly, the state of life to which God has called me makes demands on my generosity and self-sacrifice that cannot be properly fulfilled except at the cost of being freed of certain inordinate affections.
