Free will vs. addiction

[fxcc]

Smoking is not difficult to stop if you actually desire to stop.

Years ago I attended a clinic to give up an addiction.
The facilitator would regularly ask the group this question: “So then, why are you here?”
We would dutifully (and quite sincerely) answer: “Because we want to stop (smoking, drinking, whatever…)”
And the wise facilitator would respond: “Liars! You’re not here because you want to stop! You’re here because you don’t want to stop!”
I think he had something there!
Same with any sin which we enjoy committing over and over again, I guess.
Just my $0.02c.

Francis

 

[GoneAstray]

Sorry to bump this back up. But I have a similar question.

In the past, I have had a serious opiate addiction and alcoholism. I managed to overcome both of these addictions. I went through an incredibly painful detox at home to get off opiates. Since I was a binge drinker, that was not as hard to do.

Like many addicts, I also suffer from emotional issues including depression.

I recently injured my back and was prescribed tramadol. I googled it and it is a mild opiate. I took it anyway.

It did not give me a “buzz” like regular opiates but I noticed it did seem to medicate my depression. I have never been able to tolerate anti depressants. I felt much more peaceful, less anxious, had more energy and was able to concentrate better.

I googled tramadol and discovered it had a mild effect on the serotonin receptors as well as the opiate receptors.

Okay so I went to confession anyway. Twice in fact.

The first priest told me he “feared for me” and advised me to go to AA.

The second priest told me he was not a doctor and to talk to my doctor about the anti depressant effect because modifying brain chemistry to treat depression was not a serious sin.

I asked him how I could work on my character defects if I medicated them away and he just said some people needed medications and it was not a sin to take them any more than it was a sin to take high blood pressure meds.

He told me if I noticed I was taking more or heading down that road, I needed to be concerned.

Well, I now have no pain and I’m still taking them and I have gone up from the minimum to the maximum dose because I built up tolerance.

I have decided that I need to stop but now the problem becomes the withdrawal. I have been through it. I know I will need at least a week and I am starting a new job and it is not possible for me to take a week off. I have to support myself. I cannot risk losing this job and I would if I took a week off because there are some critical things that need to be done within a certain time frame.

And no, I won’t find another job. I don’t have a lot of skills and the job market is abysmal here. In addition because of the back injury, I am now limited in what I can do.

I tried to quit the tramadol last weekend. I usually go to Mass on Saturday. I felt kind of bad but not too bad and since it was raining decided I’d go on Sunday because the withdrawal apparently wasn’t going to be unbearable.

Well, on Sunday it was 10 times worse. There was no way I could go to Mass.

So now I’ve got that to confess too.

And I don’t want to go to confession either. For some reason this priest would not let me make an appointment but made me go before Mass so everyone in the very small congregation sees me going just about every week.

I know that is another sin of pride but I don’t care. It is just embarrassing and I should have the option of making an appointment but apparently this priest won’t do that.

I know. Very long story. And I’m not even sure what my question is. Maybe, am I going to hell if I don’t basically destroy my life to get off the drugs now? Should I even get off them or talk to my doctor like I was told? Was missing Mass when I was well enough to go a sin? I do know from past experience that withdrawal peaks on the third day so I have no idea why I thought Sunday I would be fine except it was raining on Saturday and I didn’t feel good and didn’t want to go.

I think I am just taking them now to prevent withdrawal and any beneficial effects are going to wear off fast as I develop tolerance which happens pretty quickly. I think I need to get off them ASAP because the longer I take them, the worse it will be. But there is really no way I can work through a withdrawal. Unless you’ve been there you have no idea.

Any suggestions, advice, guidance? I feel like I can’t even pray because of this sin of addiction.

 

[fxcc]

Sorry to bump this back up. But I have a similar question.

In the past, I have had a serious opiate addiction and alcoholism. I managed to overcome both of these addictions. I went through an incredibly painful detox at home to get off opiates. Since I was a binge drinker, that was not as hard to do.

Like many addicts, I also suffer from emotional issues including depression.

I recently injured my back and was prescribed tramadol. I googled it and it is a mild opiate. I took it anyway.

It did not give me a “buzz” like regular opiates but I noticed it did seem to medicate my depression. I have never been able to tolerate anti depressants. I felt much more peaceful, less anxious, had more energy and was able to concentrate better.

I googled tramadol and discovered it had a mild effect on the serotonin receptors as well as the opiate receptors.

Okay so I went to confession anyway. Twice in fact.

The first priest told me he “feared for me” and advised me to go to AA.

The second priest told me he was not a doctor and to talk to my doctor about the anti depressant effect because modifying brain chemistry to treat depression was not a serious sin.

I asked him how I could work on my character defects if I medicated them away and he just said some people needed medications and it was not a sin to take them any more than it was a sin to take high blood pressure meds.

He told me if I noticed I was taking more or heading down that road, I needed to be concerned.

Well, I now have no pain and I’m still taking them and I have gone up from the minimum to the maximum dose because I built up tolerance.

I have decided that I need to stop but now the problem becomes the withdrawal. I have been through it. I know I will need at least a week and I am starting a new job and it is not possible for me to take a week off. I have to support myself. I cannot risk losing this job and I would if I took a week off because there are some critical things that need to be done within a certain time frame.

And no, I won’t find another job. I don’t have a lot of skills and the job market is abysmal here. In addition because of the back injury, I am now limited in what I can do.

I tried to quit the tramadol last weekend. I usually go to Mass on Saturday. I felt kind of bad but not too bad and since it was raining decided I’d go on Sunday because the withdrawal apparently wasn’t going to be unbearable.

Well, on Sunday it was 10 times worse. There was no way I could go to Mass.

So now I’ve got that to confess too.

And I don’t want to go to confession either. For some reason this priest would not let me make an appointment but made me go before Mass so everyone in the very small congregation sees me going just about every week.

I know that is another sin of pride but I don’t care. It is just embarrassing and I should have the option of making an appointment but apparently this priest won’t do that.

I know. Very long story. And I’m not even sure what my question is. Maybe, am I going to hell if I don’t basically destroy my life to get off the drugs now? Should I even get off them or talk to my doctor like I was told? Was missing Mass when I was well enough to go a sin? I do know from past experience that withdrawal peaks on the third day so I have no idea why I thought Sunday I would be fine except it was raining on Saturday and I didn’t feel good and didn’t want to go.

I think I am just taking them now to prevent withdrawal and any beneficial effects are going to wear off fast as I develop tolerance which happens pretty quickly. I think I need to get off them ASAP because the longer I take them, the worse it will be. But there is really no way I can work through a withdrawal. Unless you’ve been there you have no idea.

Any suggestions, advice, guidance? I feel like I can’t even pray because of this sin of addiction.

1. Run to confession. Lose the conditions and stipulations. You know not the hour when the Son of Man comes. Besides, being cut off from divine grace weakens you severely in battle.
2. Attend Mass and receive Holy Communion. Frequently. Daily if you can. Even if you can’t pray in church, simply sit in the presence of God. He’ll start to speak to your heart, show you things, at some stage when He knows you’re ready to hear and accept His words interiorly, but you’ve got to keep faithfully turning up first - no mater how long it takes! Determination is the key.
3. Pray the Rosary. Start with a decade or even 3 Hail Marys if you can’t do the whole thing straightaway.
   With the Holy Spirit firmly resident in you, you will indeed win every battle against the demons, against the world, and against the flesh. This is precisely why He’s been given to us.
   God bless,
   Francis

 

[GoneAstray]

Thanks for the advice, Francis.

I don’t feel I need to lose the stipulations. I feel the priest does. If I want to keep the fact I am going to confession a private matter, I should be able to make an appointment not have to go before Mass every single week when the entire small town congregation sees me go.

Maybe that is a sin of pride but it is what it is. As I said, it’s a small town and I don’t want to run into these people in the grocery store with all of them wondering what it is I’m doing that is so bad I need to go to confession every single week. Because they will because it is human nature.

Ok, so that’s the first point.

The second point is I don’t even know if not attending Mass because you made an error in judgment is a serious sin that I would have to go to confession for. If you read my original post, you will see what I mean.

The third point is since I can’t stop the pain meds right now how can I confess that? It’s not like I’m resolving to not continue the sin if it is a sin. According to the priest, only my doctor can determine that?

And btw, since I posted, I got the results of my Xray and I have mild scoliosis. Then I had some really bad physical therapy. The therapist insisted she didn’t need the Xrays beforehand and did all these manipulations on my spine and I’m now back to square one with the pain.

I had been almost pain free up to that point.

I actually can so without the pain meds even with the pain although it does wear on you and drag you down.

But as I said, I’m starting a new job so I cannot take a week off to detox and that’s what it takes. One week. I know this from experience.

I realize not every person understands addiction. And if you don’t, it’s hard to advise someone who has had addiction problems. But after going to confession for taking the pills, I ended up totally confused about how serious it is.

The priest says it’s not a serious sin even if you’re an addict and not taking a prescription. He said that an addict cannot have a spiritual life though. So, if I can’t have a spiritual life I feel like what’s the point in praying or even going to confession again.

He also said that the fact that I asked if addiction was a serious sin meant I was trying to see what I could get away with. Which was partially true.

I was thinking too of the recycle or go to hell sins in which drug abuse is listed as a serious sin. I mean, people will be lined up to go into hell if that is true.

One thing I will not do is go to church if I’ve taken any meds, so I won’t take any today. I don’t feel high or anything but I just feel it’s disrespectful to God.

In other words, my conscience seems to be telling me something entirely different than what the priest did.

 

[fxcc]

Thanks for the advice, Francis.

I don’t feel I need to lose the stipulations. I feel the priest does. If I want to keep the fact I am going to confession a private matter, I should be able to make an appointment not have to go before Mass every single week when the entire small town congregation sees me go.

Maybe that is a sin of pride but it is what it is. As I said, it’s a small town and I don’t want to run into these people in the grocery store with all of them wondering what it is I’m doing that is so bad I need to go to confession every single week. Because they will because it is human nature.

Ok, so that’s the first point.

The second point is I don’t even know if not attending Mass because you made an error in judgment is a serious sin that I would have to go to confession for. If you read my original post, you will see what I mean.

The third point is since I can’t stop the pain meds right now how can I confess that? It’s not like I’m resolving to not continue the sin if it is a sin. According to the priest, only my doctor can determine that?

And btw, since I posted, I got the results of my Xray and I have mild scoliosis. Then I had some really bad physical therapy. The therapist insisted she didn’t need the Xrays beforehand and did all these manipulations on my spine and I’m now back to square one with the pain.

I had been almost pain free up to that point.

I actually can so without the pain meds even with the pain although it does wear on you and drag you down.

But as I said, I’m starting a new job so I cannot take a week off to detox and that’s what it takes. One week. I know this from experience.

I realize not every person understands addiction. And if you don’t, it’s hard to advise someone who has had addiction problems. But after going to confession for taking the pills, I ended up totally confused about how serious it is.

The priest says it’s not a serious sin even if you’re an addict and not taking a prescription. He said that an addict cannot have a spiritual life though. So, if I can’t have a spiritual life I feel like what’s the point in praying or even going to confession again.

He also said that the fact that I asked if addiction was a serious sin meant I was trying to see what I could get away with. Which was partially true.

I was thinking too of the recycle or go to hell sins in which drug abuse is listed as a serious sin. I mean, people will be lined up to go into hell if that is true.

One thing I will not do is go to church if I’ve taken any meds, so I won’t take any today. I don’t feel high or anything but I just feel it’s disrespectful to God.

In other words, my conscience seems to be telling me something entirely different than what the priest did.

A good confessor will tell you that incidences of failings/sins which are born out of long habit or addiction are mitigated in the eyes of God, who as Perfect and Merciful Judge recognises that we don’t have total control in the situation. For our part though, we should sincerely try to kick any habit that harms us, especially by regular prayer and reception of the sacraments. I too live and struggle with the cross of an addictive personality, but am fortunate to have good and balanced spiritual advice to encourage me in my battles.

Peace,
Francis

 

[GoneAstray]

I have kicked opiates twice already. At home detox. Or dietox, you might say because that is how you feel.

It was really stupid to think I could take tramadol because it is only a “mild” opiate. They gave me some at the hospital.

Then I asked my doctor for a script which he readily prescribed since doctors believe it is not very addictive. And in fact, I think it isn’t for people who do not have previous problems with addiction.

I don’t have much choice in what priest I go to for confession. This is the only parish around.

And it’s not that I dislike this priest or anything. I just don’t want to go to confession in front of the entire congregation every week which is how it’s been turning out.

It seems like some kind of public shaming ritual to me. The bulletin states confession is on Sat before Mass or by appointment. But when I asked for an appt, I was told to come on Sat before Mass.

Anyway, I just took some tramadol so I could at least make it to Mass today. I wasn’t going to but if I go 24 hours now, I go into withdrawal. That’s really not an excuse either because I know how it went down last weekend. I felt so bad I laid down and fell asleep and missed Mass.

I guess I’ll try to make an appointment again. Skip Communion today until I get some guidance. I really don’t know what to do.

I am starting a new job on Monday. I need to be on top of my game. The only good thing about this drug being mild is it doesn’t effect me much. It actually isn’t even that great for pain.

But thanks again for responding Francis. You’ve made me feel a little more hopeful at least. I will just have to figure out a way to get a week off as soon as possible. Until then, I will just stay at the dose I’m on.

 

[fxcc]

I have kicked opiates twice already. At home detox. Or dietox, you might say because that is how you feel.

It was really stupid to think I could take tramadol because it is only a “mild” opiate. They gave me some at the hospital.

Then I asked my doctor for a script which he readily prescribed since doctors believe it is not very addictive. And in fact, I think it isn’t for people who do not have previous problems with addiction.

I don’t have much choice in what priest I go to for confession. This is the only parish around.

And it’s not that I dislike this priest or anything. I just don’t want to go to confession in front of the entire congregation every week which is how it’s been turning out.

It seems like some kind of public shaming ritual to me. The bulletin states confession is on Sat before Mass or by appointment. But when I asked for an appt, I was told to come on Sat before Mass.

Anyway, I just took some tramadol so I could at least make it to Mass today. I wasn’t going to but if I go 24 hours now, I go into withdrawal. That’s really not an excuse either because I know how it went down last weekend. I felt so bad I laid down and fell asleep and missed Mass.

I guess I’ll try to make an appointment again. Skip Communion today until I get some guidance. I really don’t know what to do.

I am starting a new job on Monday. I need to be on top of my game. The only good thing about this drug being mild is it doesn’t effect me much. It actually isn’t even that great for pain.

But thanks again for responding Francis. You’ve made me feel a little more hopeful at least. I will just have to figure out a way to get a week off as soon as possible. Until then, I will just stay at the dose I’m on.

Just one more thought, then I’m outta here…

You know, if you went to confession as often as you needed to, and disregarded what other people thought (the very worst even) you just might set a wonderful example in Christian humility for others to follow! Who knows how many others in your parish inwardly feel the need to go regularly but are nervous to do so for the very same reason that you explained? Who knows how many graces your shining example could bring down on the townsfolk? You could be a little St Francis in your rejection of shallow worldly acclaim! So why not aim ‘big’?

Jesus was invincible because Jesus was humble. And He advocates the very same path for all of us.

Peace,
Francis

Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.

 

[ConstantineTG]

My priest gave me good advice on how to beat the addiction to sin.

1. Believe you are a good person. A lot of us think we’re bad persons. The problem is our mentality changes, we think we’re bad therefore we do bad things. We should think we’re good people who made a mistake and did something bad. But if we believe we’re naturally good, then our tendency is to do something good.
2. Confession. Confessing your sins is not only good for your soul, its good for your psychological well being as well.
3. Pray and ask Jesus to free you from the bondage of sin.

Hey, it worked for me. I can’t say I’m totally, 100% sin-free. But I’ve been a lot better since.

 

[GoneAstray]

My priest gave me good advice on how to beat the addiction to sin.

1. Believe you are a good person. A lot of us think we’re bad persons. The problem is our mentality changes, we think we’re bad therefore we do bad things. We should think we’re good people who made a mistake and did something bad. But if we believe we’re naturally good, then our tendency is to do something good.
2. Confession. Confessing your sins is not only good for your soul, its good for your psychological well being as well.
3. Pray and ask Jesus to free you from the bondage of sin.

Hey, it worked for me. I can’t say I’m totally, 100% sin-free. But I’ve been a lot better since.

No offense but this really doesn’t address addiction. First of all, taking pain medication for chronic pain probably would not be considered a sin.

Taking pain medication for a buzz or taking more than you need would be abuse and therefore a whole different ballgame.

The problem with addiction or dependency which comes with legitimate use is that when you stop you go through a physical withdrawal. You don’t sleep for days, you vomit, you twitch, your legs flail around, you sweat, you chill. You can even hallucinate from exhaustion. I have.

This acute period lasts about a week followed by about a month of extreme fatigue and depression knows a post withdrawal syndrome (PAWS),

So, it isn’t a matter of going to confession and being all better.

I am not taking the drug for the buzz. I am taking it so I don’t go into withdrawal because I need a week off work to do that.

I don’t think I’m a bad person either. I don’t think any addict is a bad person.

I might have been incredibly stupid to have started this medication knowing my past history but I am where I am. I’m not addicted to sin. I’m addicted to medication.

That is not to say I don’t commit other sins but they are things that I can work on.

 

[Aboveallbereal]

As a general point I feel our culture vastly overuses the word “addiction” which has come to mean little more than “any negative behaviour regularly indulged”. Apparently hald the people I know are “addicted” to facebook and the other half to coffee!!!

i suspect that much of what we call addiction is better called weakness of character.

 

[GoneAstray]

As a general point I feel our culture vastly overuses the word “addiction” which has come to mean little more than “any negative behaviour regularly indulged”. Apparently hald the people I know are “addicted” to facebook and the other half to coffee!!!

i suspect that much of what we call addiction is better called weakness of character.

I don’t think that is the issue here or the thrust of this thread. It can be argued that certain behaviors such as gambling do become addictive in that engaging in the activity causes chemical changes in the brain similar to a high from drugs. Caffeine has a physical effect and is an addictive chemical. However, the withdrawal is mild. Nothing more than headaches and sleepiness.

I am talking about drugs that cause biochemical changes in the brain by attaching to certain receptors. As a result of using them for anywhere form 2 weeks to months, the brain stops producing the neurotransmitters normally made by these receptors.

So when you stop taking them, your brain has to now “learn” to make these neurotransmitters again resulting in the withdrawal syndrome. Which, depending on the amount of the drug taken and the length of time taken, can range from uncomfortable to life threatening.

Not only do you go through the withdrawal, you also experience “cravings” for the drug because your brain is telling you it NEEDS it. This is probably the most common cause of relapse in my experience and is probably the one that can be overcome by praying. A lot.

However, the fact remains that the withdrawal from drugs is physical. There is no way to avoid it. And it is debilitating to the point that you cannot function. Period.

That is my dilemma at this point.

Do I want to be dependent on a drug? No. However, when I tried to stop to see how bad the withdrawal would be, I discovered that I am.

Will I quit this drug when I can? Absolutely. I have done it before so that is not an empty promise.

Will I want to die while doing so? Yep. Will I be depressed for weeks afterward. Yes. I, and other addicts I know, call it falling into “the black hole.”

Can I pray it away? No, It is physical. The brain has to repair itself.

But I can live through it.

So please don’t mislead people by stating that everything is an addiction today. Many things are because they actually do cause chemical changes in the brain. But there is no question that medication can be addictive and that there is a physical withdrawal that occurs that has nothing to do with weakness of character.

I don’t know a single addict who wants to be one. If strength of character were the cure, there would be no addicts.

You could argue that beginning drug use is weakness of character but I don’t buy that one either. Most drug addicts have underlying emotional issues. They discover drugs remove these issues and use them as a way of self medicating.

Or they are prescribed by a doctor for emotional issues or chronic pain. I accept the fact that some chronic pain patients have to take addictive substances and become dependent as a result in order to have any quality of life. That is different than abuse.

I also accept that in the case of abuse, it is a complex issue and once hooked, it is not easy to get off.

 

[Daniel_David]

As a general point I feel our culture vastly overuses the word “addiction” which has come to mean little more than “any negative behaviour regularly indulged”. Apparently hald the people I know are “addicted” to facebook and the other half to coffee!!!

i suspect that much of what we call addiction is better called weakness of character.

I wholeheartedly disagree with you and felt somewhat offended when I first read your post. However, I also know there are many out there who believe the idea that it is all “a weakness of character”. In fact, I thought the same thing before I sought out help with my addictions… if only i had more will power, if only I had more strength of character, then I would be able to drink socially; stop after a few… I have learned that my way of thinking was not only wrong, but doing me additional harm. As a challenge to your beliefs I would like to suggest that you read the book Alcoholics Annonymous and perhaps attend an ALANON meeting (I’ll leave it to you to google ALANON for more info). Anyway, God Bless!