Frequent Sinning and its Fallout

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Ryan_Vincent

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Hi all,

About 2 or 3 months ago I began going to confession again after not having gone for 6 years. It was a real relief to know I was finally doing the right thing and that I was taking the right steps to get my life back on track. My problem is this, I have noticed that I really really struggle with a certain handful of sins. Struggle so badly in fact that I haven’t been able to go more than 3 weeks without having to return to confession. The question I have come to ask is this, what can I do to avoid these sins which have such a hold on me? I am usually told to 1, keep really busy as much as possible 2, pray everytime I feel like I am going to sin and 3, go to confession as often as I need. Although I know this is good advice and I do my best to follow it, I just can’t seem to break away from my past vices. What bothers me the most is the frequency I am going to confession. Going almost every week is becoming difficult as it reminds me that I am continually failing (big time) and also because I worry that the priest will not think I am making a real effort to avoid the sins.

Any advice, comments, help, or stories from people with similiar expiences would be greatly appreciated. Although I have a large number of Catholic friends, and most are very open with their faith, I just find myself unable to bring this topic up around them.
 
Hi,

Yes. We’re all sinners. Our nature has been so terribly wounded as a result of original sin. The very frequent reception of the sacraments ( confession and Holy Communion ), prayer to our Lady and mortification are the best means. The following prayer by a past pope covers everything we need for ourselves. Try to pray it daily. And don’t worry what the priest thinks. He is probably very proud of you when he sees you struggling to improve. It gets easier. I will say some prayers for you.


For All Things Necessary to Salvation

(Composed by Pope Clement XI, A.D. 1721.)

O my God, I believe in Thee; do Thou strengthen my faith. All my hopes are in Thee; do Thou secure them. I love Thee’ teach me to love Thee daily more and more. I am sorry that I have offended Thee, do Thou increase my sorrow.

I adore Thee as my first beginning; I aspire after Thee as my last end. I give Thee thanks as my constant benefactor; I call upon Thee as my sovereign protector.

Vouchsafe*, O my God! To conduct me by Thy wisdom to restrain me by Thy justice, to comfort me by Thy mercy, to defend me by Thy power.

To Thee I desire to consecrate all my thoughts, words, actions, and sufferings; that henceforward I may think of Thee, speak of Thee, refer all my actions to Thy greater glory, and suffer willingly whatever Thou shalt appoint.

Lord, I desire that in all things Thy will may be done because it is Thy will, and in the manner that Thou willest.

I beg of Thee to enlighten my understanding, to inflame my will, to purify my body, and to sanctify my soul.

Give me strength, O my God! To expiate my offenses, to overcome my temptations, to subdue my passions, and to acquire the virtues proper for my state of life.

Fill my heart with tender affection for Thy goodness, hatred of my faults, love of my neighbor, and contempt of the world.

May Thy grace help me to be submissive to my superiors, condescending** to my inferiors, faithful to my friends, and charitable to my enemies.

Assist me to overcome sensuality by mortification, avarice by alms-deeds, anger by meekness, and tepidity by devotion.

O my God! Make me prudent in my undertakings, courageous in dangers, patient in affliction, and humble in prosperity.

Grant that I may be ever attentive at my prayers, temperate at my meals, diligent in my employments, and constant in my resolutions.

Let my conscience be ever upright and pure, my exterior modest, my conversation edifying, and my comportment regular***.

Assist me, that I may continually labor to overcome nature, to correspond with Thy grace, to keep Thy commandments, and to work out my salvation.

Make me realize, O my God! the nothingness of this world, the greatness of heaven the shortness of time, and the length of eternity.

Grant that I may prepare for death; that I may fear thy judgments, and in the end obtain heaven; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
  • “Vouchsafe”: grant or bestow. **This use of the word means something very negative today. However, the dictionary also defines condescending to mean: “To descend to the level of one considered inferior; lower oneself”. We have the notion that everyone is equal, but in his time the idea of rank based on one’s birth was very important. The King’s son could not play with just anyone, but only with a noble of nearly equal rank. In this sense, one should lower oneself and deal with the other person as though you had equal rank. ***“Comportment”: bearing, how one conducts oneself. “Regular”: proper, with discipline.
 
Do not dispair my friend and congratualtion on return to the church!
You said it has been only 2 or 3 months? How many years have you been repeating these sins? You have developed a habit and just as these habits have been ingrained over a long period of time you must continue to perservere, but have patience with yourself. I have heard the pope goes to confession once a week so there is no shame in frequent confession.

The previous advise you been given is very good (keep busy ect.).
When my husband and I returned to the church (well I returned he converted) we took an NFP class because up until that time we had been contracepting. It took time to over come some of the sexual sins we had developed. It also took a long time to find a good confessor who didn’t minimize our sins as “not being serious” or worse yet not really sins at all, when the church clearly teaches otherwise.

If you can get to daily Mass I would recommend that, and making a holy hour before the blessed sacrament frequently, reading scripture daily. Jesus knows your heart my friend, take up your cross and follow him - he will be with you every step of the way.
 
‘I have heard the pope goes to confession once a week so there is no shame in frequent confession.’ i’ve heard he goes everyday.

hey ryan - God bless you and your honesty!!! 🙂 yes, the struggle against sin is a painful, unpleasant process. especially when ‘that one sin’ or ‘those few sins’ seem to crop up again and again and again.

i go to confession about once a week, maybe once every two weeks. sometimes, believe it or not, i’m actually grateful that i’m still fighting against my chronic sins, because it causes me to do an examination of conscience more often, and i find other things that i probably wouldn’t have confessed if i hadn’t ‘been there anyway.’ i see this as yet another way that God works for good something that the enemy intends for evil.

i read that many of the saints went to confession daily. don’t feel bad about going often! the thing to worry about is if you stop going altogether! you’re a sinner. 🙂 so am i. we sin. it’s our life struggle to overcome these sins. with God’s grace, we will. but it might take a lifetime to overcome some of them.

some things i’ve found that help - find an accountability partner. find someone (it can be a priest, or just a good friend that you trust) to whom you can share your struggles, and who will pray for you, and who will ask you occasionally (once a week is good) how it’s going. just KNOWING that you’re gonna have to ‘give a report’ is a great deterrant.

also - pray the rosary and read the Bible every day. when i wake up, i read ‘today’s reading’ from my ‘one year Bible for catholics’ and i pray the rosary. it often helps me to overcome temptation that arises that day.

but don’t be discouraged! fight the good fight! we’re in this together - let’s pray for one another.

God bless.
 
**Proverbs 24
**15 Do not lie in wait like an outlaw against a righteous man’s house,
do not raid his dwelling place;
16 for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again,
but the wicked are brought down by calamity.

17 Do not gloat when your enemy falls;
when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice,
 
Hi,
I was just leaving work before my last reply. And so it was too quick. The other responses here are very good. To add to them, I would say that a close friend of mine came back to the Church about the same time as you. He struggled like hell, after 29 yrs living like a pagan. And he was so depressed he even contemplated suicide a few times. This is the wqork of the devil. He will speak to you in your thoughtrs, and tell you many things to try and turn you from the path to eternal life. He will especially work extremely hard while your still very new to the faith. Pray to Mary. She crushed the head of the serpent. And she will do it again, for you. That is the thing about your journey in the faith, it is spiritual warfare. You need to use the means at your disposal. Prayer, fasting and alms giving are the main means for winning the war.Gloominess, sadness, depression are the devils greatest friend. He will try to bring about these, so as to make you despair. Be cheerful, full of joy and at peace no matter what happens. The devil will hate this, and eventually realise he should spend his time elsewhere. Be humble, you are no worse than any other Catholic. Most people boast about their sins, you repent of them. Who is better? I am proud of you , when I hear that you want advice on how to overcome sin. And every decent Catholic is the same.
Pray for humilty. As we say at Mass , " Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed." I am very sure our Lord is very pleased with you. And if you keep up the struggle you will bne healed. But note, to completely overcome sin requires an effort not unlike that which results in Olympic Gold medals. To finish I would suggest you read and pray, St Francis De Sales , " Introduction to the devout life." The spiritual bouqet is just making some prayers and sacrifices. In case you don’t Know.
And I provide a link as follows. Do a search on the sins and virtues that you need to know about, on this site. This Saint was a genious on the topic of modern man becoming a Saint in the middle of the world-
escrivaworks.org/
And I know what it’s like to be in your shoes. So I will keep you in my prayers.
 
ryan, you seem really sincere and seeking God’s face about this and that is really good.

i recently had a struggle like yours, but the sin kind of crept up on me (it can be quite stealthy if we aren’t careful). it took me months of really, truly seeking God and going to daily mass, prayer, Bible study, confession (quite often, though probably not as often as i should have). i had more than one confessor so i had more than one perspective, but they all said the same thing: you must RENOUNCE that sin, totally turn and walk away from it.

another thing i have found extremely helpful is taking the thought captive - i actually say out loud “LORD, i need you NOW” or simply “JESUS.” it is supernatural when you speak His holy name. it really does help me through some tough spots.

*edited to add: i agree with above poster, who was posting at the same time as me: it is a spiritual battle. it is spiritual warfare, which is why i say the name of Jesus out loud - the devil is not omiscient - he cannot read our thoughts - so simply saying “go away satan” or the name of Jesus in your mind, while the Lord can hear, the devil cannot and we all know at the name of Jesus, he has to flee. *

hth 🙂

pax
 
Thanks all for the responses. They have done a great deal to help me keep my head above water the past few days. Sometimes between the stress and the sins its hard to tell which is way is up. But I went to confession again this weekend and felt fifty times better afterwards. I am going to keep praying, keep hoping, and keep going to confession and I know that I can break the habits of my past.
 
There is nothing at all wrong with weekly confession. Though it seems as though the sins just repeat, continued confession and the Mass will help change one’s life. It is like steering a large ship: though you turn the wheel, it still takes awhile for the ship to make the turn.
 
Ryan Vincent:
Thanks all for the responses. They have done a great deal to help me keep my head above water the past few days. Sometimes between the stress and the sins its hard to tell which is way is up. But I went to confession again this weekend and felt fifty times better afterwards. I am going to keep praying, keep hoping, and keep going to confession and I know that I can break the habits of my past.
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Good luck on your journey. We all go through many trials in this life. As we say in the Hail Holy Queen after each Rosary - this is a vale of teers. St Teresa of Avila described our time in this world as '" like a bad night, in a bad inn." But you can find peace and happiness in this world. The closer you are to God, the happier you will be.
Keep up the struggle, and keep the faith. Your in my prayers.
 
Dear Ryan: In addition to the excellent advice provided above, may I just reassure you from my own experience that deeply ingrained sins of a lifetime are indeed overcome through prayer – prayer at the moment when one senses a sin about to occur, and prayer generally. Read Dietrich Von Hildebrand’s Liturgy and Personality to discover how to get and give the most in the Church’s prayer (mass and breviary). And use aspirational prayers during the day too. And consider consecrating yourself to the Immaculate Virgin!
 
Ryan,

Know that you are blessed person! The more you go to confession, the closer you will be drawn to Jesus…and that’s a good thing. There’s Jesus and Mary, and then the rest of us who are all sinners. Through the Sacrament of Reconciliation the Holy Spirit is cleansing your soul and sanctifying you. It’s a true act of humility. It is a great gift. Please continue!!
 
Forgot one thing, Ryan…Dietrich von Hildebrand’s Transformation in Christ is also an excellent book that talks about our journey to Sanctity.
 
Ryan Vincent:
Hi all,

About 2 or 3 months ago I began going to confession again after not having gone for 6 years. It was a real relief to know I was finally doing the right thing and that I was taking the right steps to get my life back on track. My problem is this, I have noticed that I really really struggle with a certain handful of sins. Struggle so badly in fact that I haven’t been able to go more than 3 weeks without having to return to confession. The question I have come to ask is this, what can I do to avoid these sins which have such a hold on me? I am usually told to 1, keep really busy as much as possible 2, pray everytime I feel like I am going to sin and 3, go to confession as often as I need. Although I know this is good advice and I do my best to follow it, I just can’t seem to break away from my past vices. What bothers me the most is the frequency I am going to confession. Going almost every week is becoming difficult as it reminds me that I am continually failing (big time) and also because I worry that the priest will not think I am making a real effort to avoid the sins.

Any advice, comments, help, or stories from people with similiar expiences would be greatly appreciated. Although I have a large number of Catholic friends, and most are very open with their faith, I just find myself unable to bring this topic up around them.
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Dear Ryan

INTENT, dear friend is THE most important thing, look at the words of the Act of Contrition ‘O My God because you are so very good, I am very sorry that I have sinned against you and with the help of Thy grace I will TRY not to sin again’

In the first instance, are you sorry? You appear to seem very sorry to me, in the second instance do you know that God is and gives all things good? you seem to know this also, in the third instance, do you intend with the help of God’s grace to TRY not to repeat this same sin/s again? You seem sufficiently desperate and distraught to me to have good intention not to.

So you are a weak and frail human, your sins show this as do the sins of any human, venial or mortal, it simply shows our lack of ability to be perfect in this life, we cannot ever attain perfection, BUT it is the constant striving towards it and the constant desire for union with God, free from sin, that merits and crowns our efforts by, in and through Christ Jesus.

If you do everything within your human power to avoid all occassion of sin and renounce sin and all evil, then your intent is pure, though you may fall. The purity of heart is what the Lord looks for, the Lord also says, ‘If you love me you will keep my commandments’ Do you love and trust your Lord? Are you willing to sacrifice or do you talk yourself into a situation where you think it doesn’t really matter, at which point, though you intend not to sin, you enter into it under a falsity?

I will pray for you not to repeat these sins. Go before the Blessed Sacrament and ask Jesus to enliven the graces in you not to repeat these sins and tell Him all about the patterns of learnt behaviour you are re-enacting each time you committ the sins. Tell Jesus every detail and then tell Him to send the Holy Spirit to strengthen your resolve not to sin and to lead you in ALL things, if you do not invite Jesus into every area of your life, how do you expect for Him to help you in it?. Ask for forgiveness before Him and then make a good and honest confession , listen to the Priest and any advice he gives you and OBEY it. Ask to be made new, in Jesus all things are made new.

You are in good company my friend, we are all sinners, but the contrition and sorrow of the heart in the Sacrament of Reconciliation really does pour out graces from God, keep going as often as you are compelled to and receive those graces waiting in abundance. Peace to your spirit and love to your heart.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
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