Friend asked to attend Mass!

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Kathleen18

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A good friend and coworker has asked to come to Mass with me on Sunday. She attends a non-denominational church on a regular basis. I am so excited! This is my 1st time being asked by someone to take them Mass. I take it as a sign from The Holy Spirit. Does anybody have any advice? I don’t want to come off as pushing her towards something.
 
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You might, without being pushy give a short description of the mass – that it’s in two parts, the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist. You might explain we usually have three readings – from the Old Testament, the Epistles and the Gospels. In other words, give your friend an idea of what to expect.
 
Hello Kathleen. I have a friend who has returned after half a century. We go to Mass together and I have been taking her to Masses at different times and in several Churches close by. My friend has attended confession twice and taken communion once. There are aspects she is ready to confront or deal with, and some that are going to take time. After Mass we do Coffee at a local plant nursery. It is a chance to discuss any questions that arise.
 
You might want to share a biblical outline for the Mass as a resource (not for following along during, but later). You can find one by Googling. It will give scripture verses for every part of the Mass to help answer questions your friend may have.
 
Wonderful! However, you should gently tell her that she can’t receive Communion. Only baptized Catholics in the state of grace can receive Communion.

If you don’t feel up to it, maybe the priest or deacon can mention in the homily that those who are not Catholic must refrain from going to communion. That way she won’t feel singled out.
 
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Wonderful! Pray for her. You might want to explain, in simple terms the parts of the Mass; The Liturgy of the Word (Gathering, Proclaiming and Hearing the Word, Prayers of the People) and the Liturgy of the Eucharist.
 
I don’t know how familiar with the Mass your friend is:

I would recommend explaining as much as possible now, instead of on Sunday. Know that she (I’m non-denominational too) comes from an open communion background, where all baptized are welcome to commune. Does she know that she can’t with you? That can be a jarring experience if not prepared.

I’d also recommend sitting near the back and preparing her for the sign of peace.
Margaret_Ann said:
If you don’t feel up to it, maybe the priest or deacon can mention in the homily that those who are not Catholic must refrain from going to communion. That way she won’t feel singled out.
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That is a way it could be handled, but there really is no way to avoid the feeling of being singled out, especially the first few times. I’ve been with my wife for 20 years and still feel singled out.
 
Some people don’t care that much about “sitting out” Communion. It never bothered my husband at all.
And a first-time guest is unlikely to expect to be included in everything on her very first visit there, especially if her friend explains that Communion is reserved for Catholics in a state of grace.

Depending on the particular church or Mass they attend, there might even be a number of people refraining from Communion and refraining from going up for a blessing.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
Some people don’t care that much about “sitting out” Communion. It never bothered my husband at all.
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Sure, of course. As someone with the same faith background as her friend I’m just saying prepare her. I grew with open communion, so not being able to commune still gives me a feeling of being singled out or that I’m lesser…, is what it is.
Tis_Bearself said:
And a first-time guest is unlikely to expect to be included in everything on her very first visit there
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Maybe, if she comes from an open communion background (which I’m guessing so) and knows little of Catholicism it’s very possible she may expect to be welcome as a baptized Christian the same as others are at her church.
Tis_Bearself said:
Depending on the particular church or Mass they attend, there might even be a number of people refraining from Communion and refraining from going up for a blessing.
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Yep, I’m sure. I know where we’re at, it’s pretty few and far between. There may be 1-3 people, tops. I’m guessing at the new parish I’ll be the only one.

I’m not saying who’s right, wrong or indifferent…knowing her faith background, if she doesn’t know about closed communion it may be a shock. Give her a heads up early.
 
Just let your friend take in the Mass experience.
If your friend has questions, answer as best you can.
God bless you both.
 
Kathleen18 said:
Does anybody have any advice?
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Since I don’t know your friends’ temperament I’ll just tell you what my first Mass was like. I went just wanting to watch and observe. I didn’t want to meet people or get social. I didn’t know anything about the ritual, when to kneel etc. I just wanted to sit and watch which is what I did. So unless your friend asks something specific, it may be wise to just let her do what I did, but you know her already so this won’t likely be a problem. Blessings to you both. 🙂
 
I do believe it is important, as you do, that a non-Catholic at Mass needs to understand that they are not to get up and receive the Eucharist. And it isn’t because we think we are better than them.

When one receives the Eucharist it is because they believe in everything the Catholic Church teaches with regards to the faith. One has to learn about the Catholic faith to understand what it teaches, and if they believe in it then become a member. Usually this is done via RCIA.

I have done readings at numerous funerals at my parish, and prior to receiving the Eucharist the priest would explain tactfully (I don’t remember how he said it), to those who were non-Catholics attending about remaining in their seats, or coming up for a blessing by crossing their arms over their chest. There always were many non-Catholics attending a funeral Mass for their Catholic friend.

One time a new priest forgot to explain about that to those attending the Mass and several non-Catholics came up to receive and it was very awkward at one point when someone took the host with both hands from the priest and hesitated and seemed confused and then put the consecrated host in their mouth.
 
During RCIA the Sister teaching it explained, "If you’ve never been to Mass, there’s going to be a lot of standing and kneeling and standing again, and you’ll probably wonder why we Catholics can’t seem to sit still 🙂 )
 
Good advice from everyone so far. If, after this first Mass, your friend shows a continuing interest or has more questions about the Mass, Edward Sri’s book “A Biblical Walk Through the Mass” might be a good resource. I read that as part of a Catholic book club, and it has a pretty in-depth explanation of the Biblical foundations for all the different parts of the Mass.
 
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