Friend in Cohabitation with boyfriend, what to say?

[TheSeraphim]

I have a friend who is living with her boyfriend and her kid. At first I was thinking that this is none of my business. First, they aren’t practicing Christians. Second, I am not their father so who am I to say so?

How should I approach her? Should I leave the subject untouched or should I bring it up? The last thing I want is for them to think that I’m okay with it (silence acknowledges) and that there is nothing wrong with cohabitation and sex before marriage, which our secular world believes to be right.

On the other hand I don’t want to scare her off and make her think that I’m judging her. This will totally closed any doors.

Which is more important, maintaining the friendship or maintaining the faith? As a Catholic, am I called to evangelize on the spot? Or should I befriend them first and wait for the right timing to tell her its wrong.

What are some ways to bring up this issue?

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

I have a friend who is living with her boyfriend and her kid. At first I was thinking that this is none of my business. First, they aren’t practicing Christians. Second, I am not their father so who am I to say so?

How should I approach her? Should I leave the subject untouched or should I bring it up? The last thing I want is for them to think that I’m okay with it (silence acknowledges) and that there is nothing wrong with cohabitation and sex before marriage, which our secular world believes to be right.

On the other hand I don’t want to scare her off and make her think that I’m judging her. This will totally closed any doors.

Which is more important, maintaining the friendship or maintaining the faith? As a Catholic, am I called to evangelize on the spot? Or should I befriend them first and wait for the right timing to tell her its wrong.

What are some ways to bring up this issue?

If they are not practicing Catholics, it seems that is not the biggest problem.
The main problem is for them to worship God and His Son, Jesus Christ. Only after the main points are stuck, then this one as a consequence.

 

[kmuestwin]

Mind your own business.

 

[cradlecatholic5]

Mind your own business.

 

[maryjk]

**I have a friend **who is living with her boyfriend and her kid. At first I was thinking that this is none of my business. First, they aren’t practicing Christians. Second, I am not their father so who am I to say so?

How should I approach her? Should I leave the subject untouched or should I bring it up? The last thing I want is for them to think that I’m okay with it (silence acknowledges) and that there is nothing wrong with cohabitation and sex before marriage, which our secular world believes to be right.

On the other hand I don’t want to scare her off and make her think that I’m judging her. This will totally closed any doors.

Which is more important, maintaining the friendship or maintaining the faith? As a Catholic, am I called to evangelize on the spot? Or should I befriend them first and wait for the right timing to tell her its wrong.

What are some ways to bring up this issue?

Is this just someone you know? Or is this a friend? I think there are different answers depending on your relationship with the person.

 

[SonCatcher]

If they are not practicing Catholics, it seems that is not the biggest problem.
The main problem is for them to worship God and His Son, Jesus Christ. Only after the main points are stuck, then this one as a consequence.

OP - the first and most important thing is to invite them to worship God. It is God’s job to change them.

 

[phoooiee]

I think the only important and necessary thing to do here is to not affirm** that their actions are correct.
You don’t have to (and probably shouldn’t) go out of your way to say something, but just take great care never to say that their cohabitation is ok.

Once many years ago, before I was a Catholic, I went to a Catholic hospital and when the nun who was working there asked me what medications I was on, I told her that I was on birth control.

She said absolutely nothing against this, just wrote it down, but it says something that fifteen years later, the look of sadness that was on her face as she wrote it still sticks in my memory- I started at that moment to question the beliefs I had previously held.

Take this strategy and you may well have a lasting impact.

 

[PatriceA]

Is this just someone you know? Or is this a friend? I think there are different answers depending on your relationship with the person.

I was a little confused about that as well.

 

[Viki63]

How good friends with her are you? Do you discuss your lives? If it’s a casual acquaintance, there’s not much you can say unless asked.
But if you are very good friends, you might say something. We have marriage for a reason, because it protects women from being used and abandoned, and children from forming close ties with a series of men who then leave.There are very good reasons for marriage, just from a secular viewpoint . I have a dear friend, a church-attending protestant, who moved in with her boyfriend. I said to her something like, you know that’s a bad idea, don’t you? She later thanked me and invited us to their wedding.

 

[Aeden]

I would say that you should invite them to go to mass with you sometime, the first step is getting them back into the Church, see what they’ve left behind. Next, once you get them to go back to Church again, try talking to them about their life, be clear that you don’t want to be intrusive (is that a word?) but that you are concerned for their souls and that of their child (always go for the spot which is most likely to make an impact on the person) With the grace of God it should help them out and hopefully get her boyfriend tied to the ball and chain.