Friend of mine stopped believing

[Andrew1992]

A friend of mine recently told me that he quit believing in God after his grand parents died. He is also a EMT and has witnessed infants dying. He asked me “why would God do that?”
I didn’t know what to say. But we then talked about how he used to be so active in the church going twice a week, alter serving, prayer days, and he was I’m catholic school for 8 years.
He had also told me that when he has a family, he will raise his kids tO be catholic.
So what should i have done?

 

[Lamafacaja]

Oh, that’s too bad, Andrew. I’m so sorry about your friend. Sometimes we hit trials in life, as you friend has, and it either sends us running towards God for comfort, or away from God due to our resentment and lack of faith.

The best thing you can do, obviously is to pray for him. I’ll say a few prayers for him, too. I’m sure the only reason I have any faith today is because someone was praying for me when I had no faith of my own. So, pray for your friend and also encourage him to keep searching for God.

 

[Dorothy]

A friend of mine recently told me that he quit believing in God after his grand parents died. He is also a EMT and has witnessed infants dying. He asked me “why would God do that?”
I didn’t know what to say. But we then talked about how he used to be so active in the church going twice a week, alter serving, prayer days, and he was I’m catholic school for 8 years.
He had also told me that when he has a family, he will raise his kids tO be catholic.
So what should i have done?

How sad. You can pray for your friend…perhaps remind him that suffering and death was no stranger to our Lord. But, through Jesus’ Resurrection all is well and makes sense.

We weren’t promised what would be considered perfect happiness in this life. Trusting in the Lord and His perfect plan is what we need to mature spiritually and do God’s will. Our Church provides all we need to be happy forever, and that is why He established it.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

A friend of mine recently told me that he quit believing in God after his grand parents died. He is also a EMT and has witnessed infants dying. He asked me “why would God do that?”
I didn’t know what to say. But we then talked about how he used to be so active in the church going twice a week, alter serving, prayer days, and he was I’m catholic school for 8 years.
He had also told me that when he has a family, he will raise his kids tO be catholic.
So what should i have done?

This is too bad. Know that I will pray for him, as I recommend you to do as well. But aside from praying, what you should do is show him your faith through your works. Be nice to him, be there for him in times of trouble, etc. In time, he will admire how nice you are and notice how spiritual you (Hopefully) are. He’ll put it together eventually.

If it should go down to debates, ask him questions such as “How could a world that is so perfectly constructed together and so precise that if one little thing was off it would all go down be an accident?”.

But above all, make him watch Tim Staples’ Why Be Catholic?. It goes from not having a Religion at all to knowing which Religion is right. It’s worth the money, trust me. If he should refuse to watch it, tell him that if he wants to go through life claiming things but never wanting to know the answer than he’s truly a coward.

 

[PJM]

=Andrew1992;8379600]A friend of mine recently told me that he quit believing in God after his grand parents died. He is also a EMT and has witnessed infants dying. He asked me “why would God do that?”
I didn’t know what to say. But we then talked about how he used to be so active in the church going twice a week, alter serving, prayer days, and he was I’m catholic school for 8 years.
He had also told me that when he has a family, he will raise his kids tO be catholic.
So what should i have done?

***Hi Andrew,

Your friend has seems to have stange expetations. We are “finate” creatures while God alone is “infinite.”

While I can understand greaving, expecting anyone to live forever is at best strange. I wonder what the grand parents would have told him? I’m 67 and often seem to discover someting about me that does not funtion as it did in my youth. That my friend is a part of life. I certainly do not desire for God to extend my life beyond what He desires. As I get older, I often think that the best part of MY and everyones life, who knows, loves and obeys God will be our AFTERLIFE. With all my heart I beleive that there must be more than what this life offers; no matter how good this life has been to us.

We are created to know, love, obey, and serve God. If we do it well our eternal life will be glorious. If not, then it is too our choice to pay the consequences of our decissions.

Isa.43 Verses 7,21:* “every one who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." AND the people whom I formed for myself that they might declare my praise.”

There is no simple answer to infant death, except to understand in FAITH, that God is LOVE and can only do GOOD Things. God permits evil, but does not cause it. Know, love and serve God my friend, and I too shall pray for your freind that God will grant him the necessary understanding to realize that God is not ONLY in charge; God is in CONTROL. God sees and knows all, and that includes what is best for our spiritual well-being.

God Bless you BOTH!
Pat**

 

[1ke]

A friend of mine recently told me that he quit believing in God after his grand parents died. He is also a EMT and has witnessed infants dying. He asked me “why would God do that?”
I didn’t know what to say. But we then talked about how he used to be so active in the church going twice a week, alter serving, prayer days, and he was I’m catholic school for 8 years.
He had also told me that when he has a family, he will raise his kids tO be catholic.
So what should i have done?

I would have asked him what makes him think God did “that”.

 

[asia53]

A friend of mine recently told me that he quit believing in God after his grand parents died. He is also a EMT and has witnessed infants dying. He asked me “why would God do that?”
I didn’t know what to say. But we then talked about how he used to be so active in the church going twice a week, alter serving, prayer days, and he was I’m catholic school for 8 years.
He had also told me that when he has a family, he will raise his kids tO be catholic.
So what should i have done?

Of course, pray for him. I’d like to present another view.

Urge him to seek professional help. To me, it sounds as if he’s burnt out. He has a very hard stressful job, seeing the worst of things, and dealing with tragedy day to day. IMHO, he’s unable to cope. As a nurse, I’ve seen this happen with colleagues. When you can’t cope, it’s easier to blame someone, punish someone, turn away from something, so you don’t have to think about the horrible heartbreaking things you see.

Your friend may not like this suggestion.

 

[FurtherSuntime]

Of course, pray for him. I’d like to present another view.

Urge him to seek professional help. To me, it sounds as if he’s burnt out. He has a very hard stressful job, seeing the worst of things, and dealing with tragedy day to day. IMHO, he’s unable to cope. As a nurse, I’ve seen this happen with colleagues. When you can’t cope, it’s easier to blame someone, punish someone, turn away from something, so you don’t have to think about the horrible heartbreaking things you see.

Your friend may not like this suggestion.

this is the only comment that I feel is respectable. good clear thinking understands that what we have is not neccesarily a spiritual problem but an emotional reaction in which our subject is not really expressing himself freely due to these difficulties.

Now…the best thing you can do is show absolute patience and non-interference UNLESS he directly asks you a question…your example in peace is the only mechanism which he will be able to grasp in a reasonable value toward spirituality.
if you grope about it…try to introduce these matters to him…unconsciously he will rightly assume that your ego is involved first…and not his best interests…his best interests are obviously time in order to ajust to the difficulties nicely observed in above post.

you must fully accept him and his opinions as very understandable in HOW you conduct yourself around him…he will know at other levels if you think hes being …weak
if this happens he will rightfully acknowledge that u are in fact the weak one as you do not have a grip on the true realities of life…which he feels he has been presented with…remember how people feel is sometimes more important than driving a bulldozer of rightousness down a persons throat…now wait…i’m not saying thats what your doing…but…if you introduce the area without being asked about it that is exactly how he will feel…
setting a good example of stability…patience …always listening …if you need anything let me know has to be the theme…everybody needs somebody…also…never never say…take care or take of yourself…NOBODY takes care of themselves…we take care of each other…

this is my last post, because i’m busy…thankyou and try not to worry too much…we always worry about things and i know you cannot not worry…but…as long as u do the best u can…nothing else matters…nothing…so feel good and it will radiate…if someone wants to cut the grammer or spelling up…go for it…it will be in cyber space where it belongs…maybe i’ll duck back at christmas with a new user name which will suggest a different personality …
i’m thinking…thinking…thinking…thinki…think…thi…th…t…t…t

edit afterthought(thinking)…thats how I do some of my posts…now…you must show absolute acceptence and say things like it must be awful to experience this and so on…never evaluating or judging…God is love and acceptence PERIOD…like the sunshining…no stops and starts so thats what is best to be…don’t forget if cornered for a thought the best resolve is… there shouldn’t be any pressure to determine an absolute …one way or another…see your saying time but not saying the word,good luck

going…going…goin…goin…goi…goi…go…go…g…g

 

[MontChevalier]

How odd that the very thing a Jesuit professor was telling me about today is just the answer that your friend was looking for Andrew. Allow me to relay the message:

“Others suffer because of the egos of OTHER people.”

I think St. Augustine said something like this…

“Evil is the absence of good.”

The Professor was talking about St. Augustine’s work, The Confessions, when he was telling me this. And it blew my mind. I suggest that you pray and read St. Augustine’s Confessions to see more into this. You’ll be very surprised at what you find.

-MontChevalier